Is it weird to only want one baby?

Question

I have a daughter, 14 months, and we love her to death. She is great, my pregnancy was great, so I figure, why ruin it? I would be soooo nervous the second time, wondering if everything would be okay. I also feel if I had another baby it would be taking something away from my daughter, attention and money. We are not rich, either, so that is another consideration to stick with one kid. Do you agree?

Answer 1

I don't think it is weird at all to only want one baby. If that is the feeling you get, then go with your gut, trust me! We have 2 now and almost immediately after the 2nd one was born I was wondering why I had to go and have another one. Not that I don't love my 2nd son, I really and truly do, but having 2 is way harder than only having one. And the oldest was just at a point where he was fairly independent, could get up on his own in the morning and turn on the tv, etc.... Then I had another baby and was up all night again, up early in the mornings, changing diapers again!

Trust me, if you are feeling that you only want one, keep it that way. You don't have to have more, there is no law against only having one child.

Answer 2

My son is 9 years old. He's the only child I have. I love being able to focus primarily on him. I hear my friends always talk about how they have so much to do all in one week. Example: One of my friends has 3 kids ( 2 boys 12 and 9 and a girl 6 ). In a weeks time she has to find the time to eat lunch with them, so she goes to the school to eat lunch 3 times a week. Then she has to go to at least 2 baseball games, 2 basketball games, 1 dance class, 1 soccer game, and swim lessons. And in the midst of all this try to make sure she never misses a beat of it all. I could never do all that. She never has time for herself. She has to make sure if she does for one then she does for the other two. She's always on the go. She has to drive a Suburban t be able to load all the sports equipment into. I could never do all that. I let my son play sports but I never have to worry that the game times will over lap or even be at the same time. Some people say that it's not good to be an only child. My son is perfectly healthy. He's a little shy but he comes out of his shell pretty quickly and has no problem making friends. Not to mention I too am an only child. Plus, every family is different. That's the great thing. If having one child is what you and your husband feel makes your family complete then that's the only thing that matters. I completely understand about being worried about being pregnant again. My pregnancy was healthy and it's almost a feeling of why not stop while I'm ahead. It's OK to feel that way. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything. Plus, as a woman and a mother it is in our makeup to think about those types of things. Hope this helps. God Bless!

Answer 3

I think it's great that you're considering the resources that you have to give to a child. Try to remember, though, children don't necessarily need as much attention from you when they have a sibling they can relate to and play with, which can also help them adjust socially.
Everyone is nervous every time they get pregnant, but you can deal with that too.
If you're just afraid, don't let that stop you from giving your daughter a sibling.
If you have real concerns (money, not really wanting another child), then stay where you are.

Answer 4

It is not strange at all. But that said, I am a Mother of 3, expecting my 4th in January. After the birth of my first I knew I had to have at least one more. I wanted my son to have a sibling to grow up with. I didn't have any problems loving him as much as my first and my first never felt left out. Each child is unique and you love them for different reasons. I had my first daughter last year and thought, wow could I really love another daughter as much as her if I were to be blessed with another one? Of course, because like I said earlier they are all unique.

As far as money goes, a co-worker of mine many years ago put my mind at ease when my hubby and I were deciding on a second child. He said, don't ever let money be the issue. Don't say we will wait until we have enough money before we have another child because you will never think you have enough money. We have always managed to make it. I am a stay at home Mom now for the first time (after the birth of my daughter) and we do just fine. We don't eat out as much as we used to and we do have to budget everything. But my world revolves around my kids and it's the best decision I have ever made in my life, to become a Mommy.

Best of luck! And remember, what works best for you is what works best for you. No matter what anyone else says it is your life and your decision and no one knows better what you can handle than you do.

Answer 5

no it isnt weird! All that matters is that everyone is happy and healthy and get what they need. If you feel you can only support one child and don't want to change anything...Then don't! No one ever said that every woman must have a certain number of children. You never know, you may or may not change your mind in the future. God has blessed you with one child, be happy where you are and consider everything before having another child. Do what your heart and common sense tell you!

Answer 6

I'm with ya....we are only having one baby for a variety of reasons, too. Financial reason being the main one. I wasn't as lucky as you and have had about as many irritating things happen during my first pregnancy as possible- placental previa, gestational diabetes, heartburn EVERY day.....so that maskes me hesitant to do this again, also!

But I also agree with you about taking attention away from the daughter you already have. That's one of my fears with having more than one baby! I am getting my tubes tied after this one! And if your baby has a lot of family- cousins, etc- they will have a very full life with or without any siblings! :)

Answer 7

It is true there are more financial advantages to an only child, especially when considering the cost of a college education. However, I don't think there is anything "taken away" from a child to give her a sibling to fight with and love. Since you have been through the drill once, you should have less concern than with the first, although, labor isn't much fun!

Answer 8

Nope I think it is smart. Then you can focus on your child and the child will get a lot of attention and hopefully benefit greatly. If your not in position to financially support another child I certainly wouldn't. Plus if you do not have your education you'll be able to focus on that and get a better job that way. I have to do that and I have two kids. Plus I am 28 but I am going to college anyways, its just going to be harder. Since my college is free I can't complain.

Answer 9

This is a decision only you and your husband can make. If you are happy with one child, then that is the right decision for you. Don't let anyone tell you different or make you feel bad for your choice. No matter how many children you have, you have enough love in your heart to love each one.

Answer 10

Not at all. Family size is up to you., Some people don't want any kids. Some want one, some want two some want 10. It depends on you, what you want, what you can afford etc. At least you're being responsible in planing the size of your family.

Its nothing to do with anyone else and I wouldn't even bother asking such a question on here because you'll only get loads of crap from people who want to force their views on you.