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Okay, my mom won't let me do anything. She won't let me go out with friends or their houses and she won't let me go to sleepovers! I have never been to a sleepover in my life, and my mom says it's a good thing because going to someone's house is a "stupid" idea. I've only been to three of my friend's houses, my neighbor's, my friend who I only went to her house because my parents are best friends with her parents, and my other friend from school because it was for the talent show and my mom knew her. Well, I'm in the eigth grade and she still won't let me. I don't know why. I get all A's and I've never have never gotten in trouble at school. Whenever I ask her I come to her in an adult manner, and I ask her nicely and explain who's house I'm going to, help her remember that person from when I told her about her, I tell her about her parents and what they do, the date, what we will do and I also tell her one to four weeks in advance, usually two weeks.

2006-07-14 02:40:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Friends

She also says she doesn't know the parents, but the parents always try to call her and meet her at school functions and she acts uninterested. My sister, who's four years younger, has been going to sleepovers since she was in first grade. I still haven't went to one. My sister doesn't make better grades than me, A's and C's, but she too has never gotten in trouble at school.

Also, whenever we talk about my mom's childhood she always talks about the joys of going to people's houses and sleepovers.

I don't understand, I asked her and she said they're not that "fun" and that they're "pointless." But, I want to see for myself. I don't understand why she does this.

2006-07-14 02:43:02 · update #1

My sister is four years older. Sorry.

2006-07-14 02:44:14 · update #2

I'm not allowed to bring anyone over to my house.

2006-07-14 02:55:26 · update #3

My dad, ironically, used to try to get me to go to sleepovers and bring friends over, but then my mom will got mad at him and now he doesn't do it anymore.

2006-07-14 02:59:54 · update #4

8 answers

I think your mom is afraid of letting you go to people's homes that she dose not know well. The fact that she actually allowed you to go to 2 people houses means that she is not totally closed minded to you visiting friends.

maybe you should have her meet some of your friends parents and after she gets to know them she will allow you to visit with them a little more.

Your mom means well and is only trying to protect you. you really shouldn't be at other people's houses a lot because there are a lot of dangers associated with it. although your friend's parents may be fine there could be someone lurking between your home and theirs that may want to harm you.

She is entitled to feel the way she feels but I think that she should have done more to let you know why she feels the way she feels. After you understand what she means, maybe you would feel the same way or at least know where she's coming from.

2006-07-14 03:16:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anne 3 · 1 1

I understand your predicament as I grew up with the same limitations. Not taking sides let me explain. I never understood why I could never do those things either. After being a parent three times, I do understand the thought your mom has about you doing sleep overs and the like but freedoms are something that parents do not often give out regularly, especially at your age. There is a feeling that is beyond description when your son or daughter is out of your protection for an extended period of time. Whether it is the worry she is trying to avoid for herself or your safety does not really matter, I know, because you only want to exist successfully in your age group and extracurricular activities are a part of that. Your situation reminds me so much of the pangs of having an avenue to be part of the group and not being allowed to have fun with kids your age is brutal at best. Hang in there as it will decipate and go away. I understand that it seems that you will be a prisoner forever but trust me it is not like that. Being a parent is as difficult as being a kid with the exception that if something bad happens to your child your responsible. Being on the other side of the coin, so to speak, there is more to it than just mom not letting you do anything but the time is very close for you that things will get better. You may never agree with your mom but when you become a parent yourself you will at least understand what she was thinking and why she does what she does. It does not make it any better now I know but try to focus on other things or activities as it will not change the situation but will help you as the time will pass more quickly.. Do not judge to harshly until you have walked a mile in her shoes. I am sure that she loves you very much and do not stop talking to her about parents and other children and sleep overs but try to keep a good attitude and that will work more for you than you believe. When you are allowed freedom just remember to be responsible about what you do and the freedoms will come faster than you can believe. Hang in there cause it will not last forever, I promise.

2006-07-14 09:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by andyman 4 · 0 0

I admire that you have tried to discuss this with her. Going behind her back, mouthing off, or threatening her are not good ideas.
I'm not sure WHY she is refusing but she's the mom she doesn't always need a good reason.
It might be in your best interest to suggest the sleep over at your house. Ask her if you can invite these people over. It's a start. Explain you "respect her rules" of not allowing you to sleep over someone Else's house, however you would still like to experience a sleep over.
Does she have any suggestions for you. If she lets you, then keep her involved, ask if she has a good movie choice dose she want to watch it with you. Don't just go to your room and close the door, how is she suppose to approve of what's going on if she can't see it.
(First time around is like an interview. make sure you and your friend are on your best behavior)
_Good Luck

2006-07-14 10:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by COLE 3 · 0 0

Oh gosh Hun
my kids have had the same problem with me
i never used to let them out not because i never trusted them it was the out side world that made me keep them in
my kids knew why i was worried but oh gosh they didn't like me for it
my son is 15 my girl is 13 and i have another boy who is 11
they still don't like the time i have them come in but they do understand i think all mums think if something happens out side it will be there kid it happens to
she will get better because you are not getting any younger have you try ed explaining how you feel?
maybe if she talks to your friends mums on the phone or even go round to make sure you would be OK there
do you think your mum thinks your friends are not good enough for you to be round?
it could be that
try sitting your mum down and talk to her
good luck
respect
shaz

2006-07-14 10:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by sharon B 4 · 0 0

Your mom is trying to protect you in the way that she knows how. It may be hard for you to imagine, try to see it from her point of view. I think that your mom is a little strict, yes, but what she's also thinking about is trying to prevent anything bad from happening to you because she loves you and it would hurt her very much if anything ever happened to you.

2006-07-14 09:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by lisa.ramirez 4 · 0 0

Maybe shes worried about you because your more curious about things or she remembers herself when she was your age and she did stuff that was bad over other peoples house.

2006-07-14 09:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by Ambsz 3 · 0 0

Have a party, Let her meet all your friends and their parents and then she cant say she does not know them

2006-07-14 09:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by jentn2000 2 · 0 0

oh my god i hate when parents are like that. ur in a tough situation. wut i would do is stop being such a good girl about it. tell ur mom off. this will really make her ad... just say like "if u really loved me u'd let me have fun doing wutever i want" and she will get angry , but then feel guilty... GOOD LUCK!!!

2006-07-14 09:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 2

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