Father paying Child Support without a court order. Now, things have soured and the Mom has threatened me.?

Question

I have been paying child support happily for 17 years...Now things have soured and the mother has threatened me with a court order...I don't mind that, I pay anyway. What the threat is that she will give a fake address and thus I will never know that I was to show in court. Thus, she wins the case by default. Also, she says that their would be a warrant for my arrest for not showing and immediate wage garnishment...So, what do courts do to verify that their summons has been received?? And, are her threats valid??? thnx in advance... No dead beat Dad here!!!!!

So far no lawyers are involved. She just threatens to go to the state. (NJ) And, yes I do have records and checks for my support..Also, I live out of state and thats why I am concerned about her threats. The Support office said they just send out notices via regular or registed mail...

I would beat her to the punch, and file myself, but honestly I am proud that I didn't need a court order...and, its a long drive from Georgia to NJ. I would have to hire a lawyer up in NJ or travel there and spend a day or 2...then will probably have to come back again for the hearing....That just plain sux!!!!!

Answer 1

Like others have told you here beat her to the punch and go to your local child support office and let them know that you are interested in opening a child support case due to your child's mother's threats! Georgia will then proceed to open up a child support case (hopefully with NJ courts rather than a case directly w/ her) * Each state is different* If u choose to go to GA to file a petition asked them to open the case through the NJ courts- That way GA will open a UIFSA case (interstate case) with NJ. We will monitor case for the mother and any problems or concerns that come up she will have to contact us rather then her contacting GA directly ---
You should not be so worried about having to pay retro arrears if you dont have proof of the payments you have made to her in the last 17 years-- IF the mother decides to contact the NJ courts to file for a petition for child support the order will ONLY become effective the date that she files... In other words she cannot claim that she never received any payments from you and she wants you to pay her effective the birth of the child! As far as her providing a wrong address for you so u dont get served properly i find that very hard to happen, usually the courts will verify the address with the local postal office before continuing with the paperwork, and even after the supboenas have been mailed they are mailed through regular and certified mail-- If the mail comes back to us with a notation from postal office that u dont live there (usually they will provide us w/ the last known address), then the courts will continue searching for you, However if the certified mail comes back UNCLAIMED then that means that you do live at address but chose not pick up mail and thats when a default order gets entered..... Furthermore, a warrant will not be issued for your arrest if there is no proof of address- FYI: - NJ checks DMV, LexisNexis, Postal Office, other states and Federal parent locator in order to obtain and verify addresses- So its very important that you update ur info w/ DMV and advise postal office when u move- I hope this helps and puts u at ease--- Also, unless u have the money to give away, you dont need a lawyer for these procedures (with or w/ out lawyer u will get the same outcome) unless of course things get complicated and u get no assistance!

*In the state of NJ, we dont have automatic emancipation, unless u have a divorce judgment stipulating that support should terminate at the age of 18 support will continue AS LONG AS THE CHILD IS A FULL-TIME STUDENT! Even then, after the child has graduated college, u will need to file for a modification to emancipate child (i doubt the mother will willingly provide any info that her child has graduated)

-From now on I hope any payments you are sending her is via check or money order- Keep all the proof of payments!

Good Luck

If u have any doubt wether or not she has contacted NJ courts to open up a case or if u want to check if a case has been opened you can messg me and i will check for you-

Answer 2

Rule # one, Get it in the court system before she does.
You never said that what you paid, would be an acceptable amount to the courts. She may be entitled to more than you paid. Report the threat to the police that she intends on using the court system in a dishonest way so it will be on record. That is black mail and against the law. Get her to say it again on the phone with a silent witness that is not friend or family member. Record it and then write the conversation down word for word with the wittiness's signature and statement. Continue to pay without interruption, if you haven't kept records of what you paid to this point, you better get that comment from her on record as well. Ask her "didn't I pay you (such and such) all these years and you were fine with it, what's different now, how can I help, how much more in addition to what I've already paid would you like-and that would bring the total to Bla, bla, bla, right?, Let me see what I can do, are you sure "X" added to the "X" I already paid all these years will get you by, Let me check on cashing in one of my savings bonds and I'll get back with you".

Answer 3

She can't do that. If she attempts it - she would be the one they would arrest for contempt of court. When you file a suit or an order to change a support agreement - you sign an affidavit stating ALL information contained in thee documents is true. Her lawyer then sends a copy of those papers to you ( and or your lawyer) before they are ever filed with the court or there is a court case. You are allowed so many days to make sure all the information is correct - etc. before they are ever taken to the courthouse for filing. You must get a lawyer to protect your rights.
Sounds like she is starting to panic because you are nearing the end of your child support obligation. No state that I know of requires a father to pay past the child's 18th birthday unless it was stipulated in the original decree that you would pay until the child graduates from college. Since you never had a court order - that is obviously not the case. I think she is panicking because she knows that her support from you is coming to an end. When your child turns 18 - if you still desire to support him or her - you can start giving money directly to the child. I suspect mom knows you no longer have to give it to her. Hang in there for one more year! ( You are to be commended for paying w/o the order.)
ps - Do you have proof of those payment? Cancelled checks etc? If not - get a lawyer ASAP - she could be trying to claim you have never paid and could be going for back support. I hope for your sake that is not the case!

Answer 4

That sucks and I'm sorry you have to go through that!
First off how have you been paying her? Checks would have been great. It's on record bank statement and as well as her cashing them. If you have been paying her cash then i would get it all on phone recording making sure you say yada yada yada Ive been paying you for 17 years this amount of money then of course she will say yeah but........... Blam you at least have it on a recording proving you have been paying her money.

Some women are just EVIL and eventually get money hungry and that's seems to be what she is doing now.

Just make sure that you have some kind of proof that you have been paying her. There is not much after that she can do to you.
At least the judge will not look at you as a dead beat dad who does not give a rats *** about his kid/s. He is going to see some one that has made an effort for 17 years.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

Make sure you have proof of all of your payments. Otherwise she could just deny them. If you paid in cash (mistake) then try to get something in writing or a recording where she admits receiving them. Also for the fake addy bit, try to get it in writing - shoot her an email or record a phonecall (if legal in your state). Better consult with the local Child SUpport agency and perhaps a lawyer.

Answer 6

First all the paper work goes through the sheriffs office...second go to your state child support office and ask them to advise you as they know the laws for your state

Answer 7

How about you go to the court before she can and have child support payments set up on your behalf, that way you don't even have to worry about her doing something so stupid.

Answer 8

if you go to the court house on your own and give them your address yourself then she wont be able to screw you in the way shes thinking. my husband calls them 'the friend of the c*nt..lol good luck, stay on your toes and dont let her dig your hole.be smarter than her and do it all the legal/right way.eventually the coutrs will see her for what she is anyways.

Answer 9

Go to court and file paperwork yourself.

Answer 10

You have to be personally served. She will not be able to provide a fake address.