Heres the situation, been living together for nearly 2yrs but gf will not give up old apt. Seems strange esp being that she only goes over to it once a wk to check mail *less than 5mins*. This apt isnt in the budget (as we are not wealthy), the rent has gotten behind (her landlord is understanding?) by a substantial amount. When asked why she wont let the apt go..i am struck with silence--no response at all! Which sends off crazy red flags. Please, let me hear some outside opinions on this one-- should be as interesting as my question!!
2006-07-14 00:35:27 · 10 answers · asked by Quasi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes i can understand having a safe haven of sorts, but why not just express that IF that is the true case? This isnt the 1st time i have presented this to her - each time she shuts down and walks away-very frustrating!
2006-07-14 01:04:29 · update #1
To address, perhaps someone else is living in the apt no..b./c most often we go there 2gether when she checks the mail..she may go in for a brief sec to look over the status of the apt but thats it..and yes this is her 1st apt..that she will not let go..however the new digs that we are in is in HER name so a fear of not having her 'own place' isnt an issue at this pt.
2006-07-14 01:09:27 · update #2
Maybe there is something about her past that is causing her to hold onto this place. Something that she just DOES NOT want to tell you yet. Perhaps holding onto this apartment is in some way... her outlet for something that happened to her..
I don't think you should push her.. pretty soon.. the landlord is going to tell her that she's evicted, and there will no longer be an apartment. Then, you're going to have to worry about whatever new outlet she picks.
2006-07-25 04:10:48 · answer #1 · answered by Imani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can comprehend the red flags. Actually most relationships are strengthened when both partners have other places to run away to, do you ever spend time at your partner's place? If not I would be curious. It is true that some people hold on to a place as a talisman no matter the sacrifice especially if it was their first place. Renting is dumb; that money should be going into a mortgage. I would wonder if a dear friend of your partner is not the true inhabitant and that your partner is reluctant to admit they are 'helping' someone you might not like. Simply a guess.
2006-07-14 08:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by JVHawai'i 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are wasting time and money.
If you are serious with each other then take the vows and start investing in property, even if its just buying condos.
So go to a relationship counselor and work out your differences and your OBVIOUS COMMUNICATION problems, and then (after vows are taken) take it to the next level by talking to a financial adviser so you can plan your financial future so BOTH WILL be wealthy in your old age.
Anyway, I really don't believe in living together. Its such a waste of time and money, as I said before. If you can't commit to combining your finances for the greater good then you don't need to be living with each other. Just keep it to a SIMPLE sex type thing because you are both just fooling yourselves.
2006-07-14 08:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No let me say she is thinking of the future. My g/f and i both live together and believe it would be nice to have a break sometimes or to kow that there is freedom, i would consider it a bad thing and you said your self she only goes there for 5min so there is no need for a red flag
2006-07-14 07:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by starjessiegirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paying for an empty apartment is crazy. If she can't understand that then you should ask yourself whether you really want to be with her and deal with all the hassles having someone like that will bring later in life.
2006-07-14 07:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by No more! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bail dude. She's leaving the back door open till another prospect shows, then she's going to ditch you quicker than a prom dress after the senior ball.
2006-07-14 07:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You give up your old apartment when you decide to move in with someone. If you're not sure enough to get rid of the old, you're not ready to live together.
2006-07-14 12:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like quite a waste of money to pay for an empty apartment.... my partner gave up hers to move in with me...even paid a penalty for breaking her lease! (now that's love, huh? LOL).
if she's completely committed to you, I don't understand why she won't give it up...unless she's hiding something or playing you...
2006-07-14 13:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at two years i think she can give up the other place tell her its about trust make her talk and tell you what is going on with her don't jump to conclusions first just talk to her about it without accusations don't attack her she will bottle up just gently tell her to sit down with you express your feelings and ask her to be honest and do the same if she loves you she will tell you the truth.
2006-07-26 05:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by lady heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she playing you. dump her now while you still can.
2006-07-14 07:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋