strange situatio but can anyone advise me what to do,my partner and his ex wife split 3 yrs ago,i met him two years ago,but they have a 14 yr old daughter and the ex wife wont let him see her,he did nothing wrong,they fell out of love.
He cant afford to take her to court as it costs to much and is paying £338 a month to the csa,the soliciter has said to sit back and wait till the girl makes her own mind up,my partner and me have a baby now and i want her to know her big sis,what can i do i ,any ideas
2006-07-14 00:24:58 · 14 answers · asked by sunnyjomassey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
her mum has mental problems ie depression,so my partner says it might rock the boat if she mentions it to her mum,
2006-07-14 00:31:14 · update #1
i did think about going to the school where she is.....where do i stand
2006-07-14 00:33:00 · update #2
Write to the child's mother with a completely unbiased view asking that you may bring the baby over to meet her sister. Also make it clear to the mother that it is not your intention to try and take her daughter away from her. Do not blame her for anything and give her no reason to get upset with you. Then leave it to see if she replies. Good luck x
2006-07-14 00:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this is a situation where your hands are tied. The mother has made a decision which the daughter will most probably adere to, regardless of her own feelings about seeing her Dad.
Divorce is such a minefield and many children get caught up in disputes like this, as if they are a possession which the Mum or Dad can wield power over and use to attack the other person with, which seems to be the case here.
The girl most probably will come to see both of you in her own time. Trying tactics like turning up at her school with the baby will just be seen as a threat by her mother and will no doubt cause a scene that will do no-one involved any favours whatsoever.
You may have a long wait, but ultimately, it is no-one's decision to make except the 14 year old's. She has her own feelings to sort out in regard to the divorce and in regard to her father having started a new family. She will be the one who needs to make the first move towards you, when she is ready and, able to do so.
Until then, perhaps a letter hand-delivered to the mother and daughter by a mutual friend or relative, explaining that she has a step-sister and that her Dad still loves her very much.
2006-07-14 00:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you and your partner should raise your baby knowing that she has a big sister when she grow up it's not a big problem and you can tell her about her dad's past life that he had a partner and had a baby with that partner after they fell out of love and you met him and so on...but you don't have to worry maybe your partner daughter would love one day to come see her little as long her mother doesn't interfere sometimes woman try to mess up with their kids mind...Anyway what is your solution about this situation?
2006-07-14 00:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lord Glyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I need to say that honestly, you really have no idea of what went on between him and his ex. It may be nothing, but there's two sides to every story. I would try writing a nice, positive letter, and be sure to always send gifts on the girl's birthday and holidays. When my son visits his Gramma or someone else, I call him EVERY DAY, (Although I do not reccomend this for you at this time.) They may warm up eventually, but you should resolve yourselves to the fact that you may not see her again until she's eighteen. I know that sucks, and I'm sorry to say it. But I wish you the very best of luck.
2006-07-14 00:37:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to take the ex to court for visitiation rights. He is going to have to FIND a way to get the money, or he can contact the wife and try to get her to be reasonable and give him access to his child. Ultimately through the court system is the best way
2006-07-14 00:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really strange to describe the man you love by "partner" but anyway why don't you talk to his ex...your goal is nobel and its better for the two girls i don't think she'd mind and if she do,why don't you help him with the expenses to go to court
2006-07-14 00:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by AB 4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry if someone was keeping me from my child id get 3 jobs to pay for a lawyer to go after my child.. where there is a will there is a way..
2006-07-14 00:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait till the girl b comes 14.
2006-07-14 00:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by asim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing i would like to say that Court has no deal feelings. You can take appointment privately of Elder daugter and meet her. Meeting can be at any public place. If she can't adjust time.. you can adjust your time according to her schedule.
2006-07-14 00:33:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find the girl's e-mail and drop her a line. Or have her father drop her a line. That line of communication may be unspoiled by her mother...
2006-07-14 00:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋