Messy Husband?

Question

My place was ALWAYS SPOTLESS.....that was BEFORE my husband moved in. Now it looks like a tornado hit and a dumpster threw up in the house! (you know what I mean ladies)! Any ideas to help me, help him, be a bit cleaner? I've been asking him over and over for months now, to pick up after himself and it doesn't seem to get through to him. I've also reminded him that I am NOT HIS MOTHER! HELP-HELP-HELP...PLEASE!

Answer 1

This one is easy. Start to throw out his things that he leaves laying around. He will get the picture and start to clean up after himself. Good luck.

Answer 2

did you know this before you married him? These are the little things couples need to work on before living together.

One thing I insist on.....my living area is never messy. I need that space to relax. Draw a line across the bedroom and just kick his stuff over to his side, when the pile was taller than he is, start throwing things away. Eventually he will run out of clothing.
Seperate bathrooms is a must if you have a messy man. Keeps his locked and put a key around his neck. Get an extra room and let him be messy there but don't allow it in the general living area.
Place whicker baskets in places where his dirty laundry lands.
Have him eat on paper plates and cups....and make sure he tosses it in the garbage. If you generally find thing around the house that he just leaves laying around....PUt them in a box. at the end of each month give him a one day warning that he needs to claim his stuff or it gets thrown in the garbage can. When he losses his wallet a few months in a row he might get more organized.

Give him a mop and bucket and lock him in the kitchen until the floor is clean
Give him chores. If he does it he gets the reward of his choice (which might be you) If he fails take away a privledge.
Cancel the sport channel until he complies to the rules of the house.
Oh, here is another good idea. Match is mess with yours. Pretend it doesn't bother you. Have piles of dirty kleenex on his pillow. Dump cereal on the floor and then dance until nicely scattered. Drop an egg. Forget to make dinner. Turn on the TV
and watch a marathon of "Americans Next Model" And pretend you are heard of hearing.
You know like the saying goes.......if you can't bet'em, join them.
Good luck

Answer 3

He is probably disorganized and doesn't understand the benefits that organization confers. Some people simply do not think that way. I am a slob who has tried everything to be neater. I have a system where everything has a place. Everything. It took me several months to remember that I have a place for something...but now it is second nature now that I can remember what goes where! Worst comes to worst, give him an area where he can live like a pig and don't go in. Nagging never works- it makes him resent you. If your not his mother, quit acting like his mother. Make a system for your household, be patient for two months, take him on tours of the new system. Or become a pig too for a couple of months. I doubt he will like it, and you will make a point. It may be a difficult month until the realization kicks in that his life is out of control, he can't find anything, his things are dirty, his productivity is suffering. I feel for you.

Answer 4

this is what i would start doing throw anything he leaves laying around in the garbage!!!!!!!!!!! put it right on top of the trash so he can see it (clothes,shoes,toothbrush,etc.) i know it sounds mean but it would wake him up. or if thats to mean get a garbage bag and put everything in it dirty dishes laundry half cans of pop comb anything he leaves laying around hand it to him at the end of the day and make him go through it and put everything where it belongs. i know i have the same problem with my husband. when he sweeps the kitchen floor he does a half *** job.he will open the basement door and instead of using a dustpan he puts the dirt all over the basement stairs.or if there is no bag in the garbage can he will still put the garbage in it. he is a lazy fat slob. he does so many things like that and it just ticks me off. i work two jobs and i have a six year old. i could clean the house before work and come home to a tornado. lots of luck!!!!!

Answer 5

Simple.
He wants to treat the house as his own trash can, then treat his stuff as trash. Get yourself a trash can, somewhat nice looking one, or a hamper, and every time you see his things on all over the house, pick it up and put it there, and if he does his laundry, then he needs to find it himself in along with all his items, but if you are the one who does the laundry, then don't do it any more, unless he brings it in to the laundry room, and he picks up his own clean cloth and puts them away. Sooner or later he will learn that the house is not his own closet.
Don't ask him any more the same way you use to in the past. You have to understand that men think differently than women, it is a fact, not a pun. When you ask him over and over to do something, it is nagging to them, whereas for you is asking, and the more you press, the harder they will resist. Think as a man, not a woman. Try it, I think it will work for you as well

Answer 6

I don't think the first answerer has a husband, or at least never tried the strategy of being as messy as he is. It doesn't work- I tried it myself.

No easy answer here and it all depends on your relationship. Generally you shouldn't expect to change your spouse and if you've tried and tried, it appears suggestion will not work with yours. Some people respond to monetary loss (hire a housecleaner to deal with his inability to clean and your refusal to be a maid for him).
For the sake of my marriage (12 years now), I've had to accept the fact that my house will not be as clean as I'd like.

Answer 7

i would do only My cleaning and my laundry. But first i would start out with doing his laundry and then possibly labeling it with a sticky saying something like " i did the laundry and now please put me away". I would defintely still continue to clean the house without a doubt but I would start throwing away lil by lil his underwear like if he leaves it other than the hamper away in the trash pail or possibly and this will get him...make the bed but only on your side and put his clean clothing on his side....if you can't tell him upfront about it..then maybe you can get him to understand by playing lil games as far as putting his clean clothes on the bed.

Me, personally I would have a strike and not do his laundr, not do his dishes, not find his items where he needs them in the morning. I mean sheesh..if he thinks he is clean and/or organized then he should have everything in order no? and defintely I would not cook any meals for him....he will be on his own til he can act like a signfigant adult other...

Peace out BAbe...good luck...want anymore advice you can email me ciao' for now...

Answer 8

I have been married for 26 years and I still wonder some times if this is going to last! All right, what I did was to tell my husband that I was going on strike; I was no longer going to cook, or clean or wash anything until he went by my rules and it worked his tidy man now.

Answer 9

Nagging will only make him dig his heels in. You should try a slow less confrontational process. He didn't get that way overnight and he isn't going to become a neat freak overnight either.
Don't tell him 'You never...' That will only make him recite all the times he has.
Start by asking to do one simple chore. After he's started doing that regularly ask him to do another. And so on.

Answer 10

Just leave his **** where he drops it..Don't wash any of his clothes ...When he doesn't have anything clean to wear he will get the message.....He is a big boy and is capable of picking up after himself......When he has to step around and over things maybe he will get the message...Tell him that until he helps put his **** away , it stays where it lies