My New Husband wants to give his parents things all the time
Buy them things that they need! I don't agree with him
it is for things that they don't really need it is more want! he doesn't want to do the same for my parents! How can I make him Realize that he can not always be helping his parents out so Much!
I am not saying that we shouldn't help them but how can I make him realize that enough is enough?
Yes they do things for us I feel that he does more for them than they do for us
2006-07-13 19:00:52 · 13 answers · asked by kiwi_08 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must win him over, not fight over it, nor ask him to do the same for your parents. If you do, he will consider that as a challenge and punishment for his gifts to his parents, he must reciprocate the same to your. later on he will view them negatively simply because you want him to treat them as the same as theirs, and no matter how much he may say he does, we all don't do that, generally.
Rather than arguing with him, join him, but on your own terms. be the one who does the initial shopping. If you don't, he will start to do it behind your back, and you will never know. Win him over, and get him to understand that when it is necessary, you are more than happy to get them what they need, but not for things they don't need. He must understand that you need to build your future, as well as make them happy.
2006-07-13 20:09:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sierra Leone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. Is the problem that him giving money to his parents is making a financial hardship for you and him. Maybe he is expressing his gratitude to his family for the life that they gave him. Maybe you could try and suggest that spending money on your and his parents should be equal and geared toward spending time together and making memories together.
If you talk to your husband and make him aware of the ineqaulity in money spend with/on his parent vs. yours and he isnt interested in making a compromise, then if you earn your own income, I would open my own bank account. Then, when you are able to, take your mom and dad out to the movies or share a nice dinner ever once in a while.
I really think communication is the key to resolving your issues. Good luck and best wishes.
2006-07-14 02:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by lilmissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his gifts to his parents are soaking up all your funds, then you need to insist that he put a cap on it.
If there is enough money to spare, then he should be able to treat his parents as much as he wants.
It's only natural that he would want to please his own parents more than he would want to please yours.
Maybe you feel guilty because you don't treat yours as much as he treats his. You shouldn't feel guilty though. Your relationship with your parents is different from his relationship with his.
Maybe you prefer to show your affection through conversation or just sharing time together. Or perhaps you just don't feel as much affection for your parents as he does for his. But your husband doesn't deserve to be penalized for that.
2006-07-14 02:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unability to show love is sometimes mistakenly replaced by giving presents all the time as a kind of physical evidence of love. If the parents are needy it is a different matter. If not, then he should think of other ways to show them his love!
2006-07-14 02:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by guy in Yemen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Within the family budget, you should both agree on the equal "allowance" each of you should get each month. Once he gets his allowance, he is free to buy whatever he wishes. If he wants to lavish his parents with gifts using his allowance money, then so be it.
2006-07-14 02:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being very selfish. If you want him to help your parents as well, yes that is acceptable. But if you want him to help your parents because he is helping his parents, you need introspection. A lot.
2006-07-14 02:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by blind_chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough is never enough if that's how he defines love foe his parents. You must either accept his view or move on. I wish you peace. Good luck and much wisdom.
2006-07-14 02:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a round about way express how you have done things and aquired things on your own and how you believe everyone should learn to do so.
2006-07-14 02:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by tamara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you work start buying your parents things they do need, and save your money so he can't spend it on his parents. other than that good luck.
2006-07-14 03:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by pay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he may have a shopping addiction of some sort and should seek counselling ...my friend is due to start sessins for that. he needs to concentrate on you and him more and you 2s needs.he should talk with friends and associates as well they may offer good advice but they must be of his choice more than of yours to help him feel more like it
2006-07-14 02:04:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋