How can they possibly know how you feel... ?
At the time, it's probably the worst thing you can say to someone in that situation..
2006-07-13 18:54:10 · 13 answers · asked by Its_me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Most people don't know what to say - and some folks will just avoid you during a time of crisis rather than say or do the wrong thing (or just to avoid feeling uncomfortable).
For the brave souls who love you and do try to say something comforting they have little experience or time to prep for this moment. What they mean to say is more "I can only imagine how you feel" or maybe they do think they know how you feel. The bottom line is they want you to feel better and it usually helps them to know that there are others who understand and so they want to be that person for you. Maybe it's the golden rule gone wrong...
I am sorry for your loss. Peace.
2006-07-13 19:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that what you are saying is absolutely, true. I know that this is true. However, those people are not sure what they should say and because they are nervous about the situation, they just blurt out the worst thing they can possibly tell a lie about. You might remind the person "I do NOT know how YOU feel because your father is STILL ALIVE." This might make that person reconsider the statement and retract such a broad and false assumption, immediately, with an apology.
2006-07-14 02:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah your right....But!! some people don't know what to say and that's just their way of letting you know how truly sorry they are for your lose. Don't take offense to it even though your sad/angry about the situation. Thank God!! you have people around you that will care and support you in such a trying time!! They may not have lost their Dad, but in one form or another they have lost someone VERY!!! Dear to them and they FULLY!! understand that feeling of anguish and pain your dealing with. If these people didn't care, you would be dealing with this issue alone, which could be worse!! So I hope you at least consider that these people are only trying to love and comfort you, and would never intentionally hurt you!!
Be Blessed!!!
2006-07-14 02:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by AAP0305 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well some of their fathers may have died. Or they may have lost someone important to them, a pet, childhood friend, memory, old keepsake, or anything that is precious. Although they may be a lower sense of stress against you, they still feel they same way, just not as bad.
2006-07-14 01:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by CIA Biatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way they can know how you feel even if there father has died as well my heart goes out to you . i have seen the pain your loss causes, but i hope it will be a long time untill i know
2006-07-14 02:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I think they were trying to make you feel better, but lacked the intellect to do so. I don't know if i possess such myself. I do know that if you believe as I do, do not be downhearted. One day you will meet again.
2006-07-14 02:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by doesitmatter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To make you feel better. They think their helping you by saying that but you know they don't even be again to really understand your pain but remember it's the though of them maybe trying to feel some of that pain.
2006-07-14 02:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say it because they know how you feel to loose someone , not a father but somene you love, it hurts even if it is a brother,friend , lover, death hurts and when people are trying to cheer you up and say" i know how you feel" thye know, thye have been thru it too.maybe not like you ahve with the death of a father but by someone else that they loved and they are saying it to comfort you to show you , if i got thru it so can you.
2006-07-14 01:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may have lost someone equally close, or they just dont know what else to say to you. I think they are only trying to relate and comfort you.
2006-07-14 01:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by Bonnie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Empathy is the only reaction one can take in these matters.
What they are trying to relate to you is how they would feel. This is kind, caring, and loving sentiment, Don't take offense to their compassion.
2006-07-14 02:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by Nick R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋