I've made my first attempt at moving on since the love of my life dumped me on Memorial Day...I re-subscribed to Yahoo Personals and talked tonight with a girl who emailed me through the site. We were on the phone for about two hours and the conversation was nice. We agreed to meet this Saturday night for dinner. She told me during the conversation that she looks like her picture on the site and also told me about her 'My Space' site. I went to the site after talking with her and read that she is a cancer survivor (which she did not tell me but I can understand why that would not be something talked about in an initial phone call). I also read that she has put on 'a boatload of weight.' I am a physical education instuctor and physical fitness is important to me in a relationship as is physical attraction. I would not feel right if I told a girl I look like my picture but she then read that I have put on a 'boatload of weight.' Am I right to feel that I should cancel this date??
2006-07-13 17:58:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
meet her atleast once, and then decide for yourself, if cancer is not an issue for you.
she may not be fat as you might imagine,
so check and find it out in person, you might really like her.
2006-07-13 18:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by who is this 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hey man. Dates don't always have to result in a relationship. Actually, the whole point of a date is to get to know each other. Also, most people today look forward to a fun & comfortable time where each of you can be who you are without having to pretend to be somebody else, ya know? So take your time, bro...get to know her. Besides, you're basically on the rebound, so a serious relationship is probably not what you need yet anyway.
So when it comes to keeping or cancelling the date, I'd say keep it, and consider it a time to get to know each other...and only that. A lot of great conversations begin with meals. Let it be a time for meal fellowship. If you don't find her attractive and your mind begins to cause you to worry, then just remind yourself that you're just there to get to know her better, and there's nothing wrong with having dinner with a possible new friend.
2006-07-14 01:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by Turmoyl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky.
It is just a first meeting, she probably does not expect you to jump on her that evening. Who knows, maybe YOU are not her type either...
So the most you have to lose is one evening. And you might win a lot. Cancer survivor. Any idea what that might mean? (Not that I am one myself, but would expect it makes people mature quite quickly).
I also do care about physical fitness/attraction etc but I would expect that if she has been thin, she will be/ can be again.
Do as you feel, really.
2006-07-14 01:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by Claire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know weight would be an issue with you then by all means cancel the date before you hurt the girl's feelings. Personally, I would not want to date someone who had issues like yours. If she has put on a lot of weight, it is because of the medication. It can be easily lost. But your preference for skinny people would be the bigger issue here.
2006-07-14 01:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by jbpammy004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you can not blame some one for gaining weight while going thru cancer remission - there is a difference between that and just eating too much KFC.
Go out with her - you only live once and judging from your account name & question - the only other option for you would be sitting at home and crying into your ex love of you life stolen underpants.
2006-07-14 01:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by Winter_Decay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that you will meet her and then probably let her down afterwards i would go ahead and cancel the date.. its understandable that your looking for a differant physical appearance. u should not go on the date just because you found out shes a cancer survivor. just let her know that you would like to continue being friends or net friends but dont feel things should go any further... hope that helps alittle
2006-07-14 01:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by okangeljenny23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a shot!
Maybe you'll find that inner spark and you can help her change her image to suit your needs. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that boatload either.
She certainly has shown her strength and resolve to beat cancer and that is often hard to find in some of these shallow hoodrats that are out there.
My vote is for give her a shot...
2006-07-14 01:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by Ren Hoek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women are so self-conscious about their weight that a 'boatload' could be as little as ten pounds. You will never know without seeing her in person.
2006-07-14 01:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should cancel the date, because you are already pre-judging her. It is not fair to her that you will not have an open mind from the beginning of the date.
It is ok for you to have standards about who you want to date but she probably will not meet your standards. She is getting over being sick and does not need to be seen and dumped.
Be nice when canceling.
2006-07-14 01:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by SYNCERE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and meet her.
Look at her as a whole person.
If you are that shallow that a few pounds will bother you that explain that to her when you meet up.
Put it in your profile that you want a certain weight and height that way you are guarantied that you will have you vanity satisfied.
2006-07-14 01:34:50 · answer #10 · answered by Ryce Queen 13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your feelings on this one; however, how does a girl tell a guy that she's connecting with "I look like my picture except I am fatter?"
I'd give her a date.
You might find that weight isn't an issue.
2006-07-14 01:04:10 · answer #11 · answered by Gary R T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋