Good lord my hubby is stupid when it comes to romance. He thinks romance is going out to eat and then coming home and watching t.v. I have placed candles around, done to much to list and he goes directly to sex. I explained to him that impatient boys miss desert, but he doesnt get it. Then the sex is rushed and I am unhappy. HELP!
2006-07-13 16:54:50 · 22 answers · asked by Amieann 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to read "Love languages".
It sounds as if you are both showing /expecting love in different ways. You desire romance..to him romance is a nice dinner..get full..go home and watch tv.
You are speaking different languages. No matter how hard you try to get him to understand..some men JUST WONT GET IT! Some do.
He isnt stupid..he is just showing you his ide of romance. He is probably being as short sighted as you are. Only seeing his wants from his prospective.
Get the book!
Best wishes!
2006-07-14 02:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your guy is such a typical potato couch huh? I think you dont have to "train" him nor change him. How about start being the romantic yourself? I hope he can get a hint. And in my opinion, not all MEN like candle. You made mention that he likes watching t.v. so how about instead of using candle, why not watch naughty movies together to spice things up a little bit, then when things start to heat up, you can lit up the candle (for your dramatic or romantic effect). Playing in the bath tub might work too! Some guys might not be born romantic and perhaps, your hubby is one of them. Just remain being the romantic wife you are and maybe one of these days he will wake up and appreciate what you do and he will get the tune that you are playing...
2006-07-13 17:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by RERUNS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as most of us have already told you, romance is not something that can be trained into anyone, it has to be within the person naturally. The rushed sex is not something new, men tend to be in a rush about sex in general my boyfriend is that way, it think men tend to get excited for the instant gratification and think of nothing else. Do like I do, I tell him in a nice way slow down, and tell him how to touch e.t.c. men cannot read our minds, and most men if you tell them what you like, show them how, they will be more than willing to please. You do have to train on sex I found out, and this goes for women and men both, how is your partner going to know how to please you if you don't tell/show them, of course it makes things much easier if you are comfortable about your body and unihibted, men love that.
2006-07-13 17:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by simone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say introduce him to my wife (I got the same problem) but I'm going to keep her. The romance part sucks but at least the sex is good. Maybe you should go for round two or change your foreplay into sending him under the sheets while you warm up to some video's.
Life cracks me up, men and women are not that different, for every problem I herd one say about the other I seen it in reverse.
LMAO
2006-07-13 17:06:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let the boy have desert without being willing to churn the cream! he'll eventually learn that in order to get what he wants there are certain things he has to do to get there. equate it to something he likes, if he's a fisherman try saying look you don't catch the big fish if you don't put your line on the reel and bait the hook, think of me as the big fish, and _________ is the reel and ________ is the bait (fill in what you would like). men need the dots put VERY close together, they will never understand if given hints. you play a part in this too, so help him along and don't let him rush, refuse to play that game. good luck to you!
2006-07-13 17:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anaolgy: a woman wants the husband to open the door of the car like he used to back in the begining of the relationship she can insult him and whine or she can suddly lead him to the car door by not releasing his arm and she stand there till he does it the whole time she is catoring his ego.... i know this sounds like the lil woman and the man bit but a woman is capable of anything. somtimes when the direct approach is taken the mans dignity is dinged up ( my wife complains i dont bring her flowers, if i do it right away it appears im just bringing flowers) same thing if you want somthing you need to find a way to make him think its his idea....
2006-07-13 17:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really "train" someone to be romantic, it's kinda something thats there or it's not. Since your hubby sounds like unromantic type you need to tell him exactly what you want and stop leaving it to chance.
2006-07-13 16:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I explained to him that impatient boys miss desert, but he doesnt get it. Stop mothering him and Dom him up, tie him up and have it your way!
2006-07-13 17:15:01 · answer #8 · answered by fl2stay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing things he needs till he meets your needs.. i think he'll notice if all that you do for him comes to a direct hault.. and when he does and he asks questions then tell him.. honey i love you, but im not a fixture in this house, im your wife and when u decide to start treating me like a wife, i'll start acting like one again.
2006-07-13 16:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't unfortunately train him to be romantic.....Romance is something that comes from the heart and some people's sensitivity levels just aren't as high as others.......You can talk to him about it, though......Sorry I wasn't much help..........
2006-07-13 16:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋