2006-07-13 16:45:51 · 35 answers · asked by OO7Bond 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you love your spouse? What does it matter?
2006-07-13 16:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by ur_ave_joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I absolutely HAD to post to this. I am a 20 year old married mother of two and if you knew me personally now you would NEVER suspect that I have had a total of 26 sexual partners including my husband. You can think what you want about me but that was when I was a teenager. I did a lot of drugs and partied a lot. To this day my husband throws it into my face and has even called me names like a ho. However, I have been completely faithful to him since we got together 3 years ago. Please don't hold it against her. I am sure that if she is like me she wishes she could have saved herself for you and just wishes she could go back and change it. Just remember that the past is in the past. She has to live with it every time she is intimate with you that she wasted her virginity and had other experiences with people that meant nothing. Oh and BTW you NEVER remember what other people are like including if you are married. I cannot remember bit by bit of ANYBODY I have been with other than my husband so NO she is not thinking of them.
2006-07-13 17:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these partners were truly, IN THE PAST, and your wife has since, tested negative for HIV, AIDS and infectious STD's, then you should dismiss it and forgive her. That was BEFORE she married you. If you make an issue out of it, you will send her on a guilt trip that may lead her back to one of these old lovers. So stop it now. She must be a painfully, honest person with an excellent reason to agree to settle down with you. If you have uncertainties about her health after these escapades, you should use condoms until she is tested and found to be disease free.
2006-07-13 16:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one that needs a bit on common sense.
For some reason in our society men can have sex with hundreds of women and that is ok.
It works both ways. Having more than 50 or 100 partners does not matter.
What matters most is what is going on right now!
Who is your wife sleeping with tonight? Who are you sleeping with?
Who do you want to sleep with? Who does SHE want to sleep with ... if it is with each other than you have the best you can get right now!
don't mess it up by bringing up the past .. the question is HOW many partners did you have ... Are you jealous that she may have had more than you?
2006-07-13 16:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by wizzie b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're a man of high morals unlike some men these days, off course it's going to bother you, alot even!!! You should have known this about her before you married her. Now it is something you have to work past you to get over it. I know my man would not want me if I've been around so much, he has such high morals and it would affect our sex life drastically. It is easier for some to tell you get over it move on she chose you. It is not easy to do. Make sure you do get all the blood tests out there possible for any stds, cause with all that's been going around you never know!!! If you love her and it's affecting you, talk to her about how you feel, but it will be hard to forget. Sorry to say, most of the time women who slept around are sluts and always will be and may never stay faithful.
2006-07-13 17:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first ask her why she was not honest from the beginning of your relationship. Next if you still love her and want to continue with the relationship encourage her to be truthful as I'm sure there are more questions you want to ask. The truth is key to communication in a relationship. I would then explained to her how you felt about learning this information. If she told you the information, i would explore why she told you. Either way a heart to heart conversation about the end goal needs to occur. Ultimately you have a heavy decision looming over you about her ability to stay faithful. You can't afford not to be honest with yourself and your feelings to her and yourself. Lastly you need to prepare yourself for that conversations and the potential answers that follow.
2006-07-13 17:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Slapdog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it was before you, and u couldnt tell when u first started sleeping with her ( meaning it obviously didnt make her the size of grand cannyon) so why does it matter, heck if shes any good in bed u should be thanking them for making your wife an excellent lover.. stop dwelling in the past and love what you have today..
2006-07-13 16:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that depends, was it before the wedding or after? if its after then its over, it was before so what? its honestly none of your business for one thing, and for another you shouldn't have asked if you can't handle knowing and if thats the case you should've asked before the wedding. did you think she was born the day before she met you or what? not to mention i think you are better off with an experienced partner, they know what they want and they chose you! you should be happy about that, you are the best out of fifty! if you marry someone very inexperienced they are more likely to think hmmmmm i wonder what its like with other guys, she already knows it ain't all that and is far more likely to stay right where she is!
2006-07-13 16:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww dude. should i get tested? i had no idea.
seriously though, get a grip. what is your relationship like now? does her past impact your present in bad way? how is your sex life? are ya both happy? do you have future plans? does she make you smile? do you still like her? DO YOU LOVE HER?
live in the now. your life is what it is. you can change it for the better, screw it all up, or enjoy it as it is.
the past is done and gone forever. don't judge the girl you never knew. love the girl you know now. if you can come to terms with this, walk up to her, give her a great big hug, a deep passionate kiss, tell her you're okay with her past, and never bring it up again.
good luck!
2006-07-13 16:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by yer daddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would'nt have married, but if I did I would kick myself in the asstadome! So kick yourself in the asstradome for not taking time to know your life mate. Marriage is not a game it is suppose to be for life and it involves your life, so why wouldn't you take time to look into an issue that concerns you know? Didn't it concern you before you were married? It's kind of like my husband who suddenly decided he wanted to chase his life long dream of taking a Job which is more entertainment than anything. Didn't he know his life long dream before we got married and that it didn't involve having a wife with him? I think men sometimes think with the head that's not on your shoulders.
2006-07-13 17:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by shot gun annie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love her as much as you did before you found out how many partners she had! You always need to remember that was BEFORE your time and she has made the choice to stay with you!
2006-07-13 16:48:50 · answer #11 · answered by Melimel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋