I told my thirteen year old son today that he needed to "break up" with his "girlfriend" because he has started to get completely fixated on this girl, and thats fine for a 25 year old but he is only thirteen...but he had a complete tantrum and was slamming doors and Im not going to put up with that, but I have run out of punishments and I think that taking privelages away will just make him go even more crazy....any ideas?
2006-07-13 16:43:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Don't. Trying to break them up, will only want them to be together more. I know because I've been in their position. Just talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he likes a girl then thats okay! Let him be a teenager. Thats what he is.
2006-07-13 16:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by xkenziie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No punishment will work in this type of situation. You are not taking away a game he likes or a tv show but a person he cares about and there is no age limite to liking or even loving a person(well that what i was brought up by) the heart choses not the parents and even most times the person with those feelings. I can advise that you talk to your son about how you feel about this relationship he is having with this gurl and even set certain rules/boundaries that will make you feel comfortable as well as him and his girlfriend. He might not even break up with her believe it or not he is growing up and 13 is a normal age to like someone and even start dating so like i adviced talk to him be4 he goes behind your back. GL
2006-07-13 17:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by Just_A_Goof 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your black then chances are high that you know what i'm talking about but if your white you might not (no offense or racism intended at all) go find a switch and get a thing that we call a "switch" it is found on some trees and when you swing it you hear a noise. If he really thinks he is bad then beat him with the "switch" in front of his gf or his friends. A "switch" hurts more then a belt any day and no matter what age he is he will know what it feels like to disobey you.
2006-07-13 17:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by A-Town Soulja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns! Take away what you can if you must...(games, TV, Phone, Internet, etc, Last could be the door to his room.)
talk to the girl's parents as well.
When you talk with your son, be sure to mention that having a "girlfriend" comes with some maturity, and if he is going around slamming the doors, etc, obviously he isn't that mature yet. (Something he'll have to realize for himself.)
Tell him the consequenses of his actions, and then follow through! It annoys me so much when I see parents make "threats" but not follow through... show him your are serious!
2006-07-13 16:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by Skiingred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents: Breaking Teens' Bad Habits
Parents play a major role in their teens' behavior and have the ability to be both loving and firm as they establish guidelines for safe and respectful living. Dr. Phil and Jay offer suggestions for what parents can do to help their teens break their bad habits.
1. Set clear boundaries.
Establish clear boundaries that cannot be crossed and then stick to them. If you tell your teen that she will be punished if she breaks her curfew, be sure to live up to it.
2. Plug into your teen's life.
Be aware of who your teenager is hanging out with, monitor her progress in school, and notice any changes in her behavior that could be related to drug or alcohol use.
3. Negotiate.
Sit down with your teen and negotiate a set of rules and regulations that are realistic and that you can both live up to. Enlist the help of a third party if necessary.
4. Discuss, don't scream.
Aggressive behavior is easy to tune out. Speak to your teen like he's an adult and he may act like one.
5. Forget "cool."
Your job as a parent is not to be a cool friend, but to set up boundaries in which your teen can comfortably grow.
6. Reward your teen for positive behavior.
Being a troubled teen is not a lifetime sentence. When your teen makes the effort to break a negative pattern of behavior, be sure to acknowledge the change by giving him more freedom and showing him that it is possible to rebuild trust. This positive reinforcement will encourage him to keep up the good work.
From The Show
Breaking Teens' Bad Habits
Related Links
Teens and Sex
Permissive Parenting
If You Suspect Your Child is Using Drugs ...
Myths Teens Believe About Parents
2006-07-13 16:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a meeting with the girls parents. So that both sets of parents can agree on a method that will work for everyone. Maybe her parents haven't realized the extent of this CRUSH, maybe she is worse than he is. You probably need to calm down yourself. I realize your urgency for having them part but remember you were young once too. If you haven't had that talk with him (birds & the bees) now would be a really good time. I also believe that the harder you push the harder he/they will rebel.
2006-07-13 16:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by larechiga26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You showed very little consideration for his feelings, you can not just tell him to break up. He'll see her to spite you and you really can not stop him. You should have left time take it's course many of these 1st time romances fizzle in time. Right now she is very important to him and you'll be setting yourself up as the enemy in this situation. You've handled this very poorly.
2006-07-14 02:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REALLY SIMPLE, LIFE LESSON!!! I hated it when my parents punished me for stupid stuff like what you did to your son. He is young and you need to be able to talk to him about why he feels this strongly about her. Different actions require different punishment. Its not like he beat up someone and needs to be sent to his room, this is about emotions. You should give him advise so that he understands how to handle this. He is prabrably slamming doors because he is confused about what is going on,give him answers and be the parent. Remember he will treat his kids how you treat him, teach him well.
2006-07-13 17:19:59 · answer #8 · answered by keenan3325 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOD! why dont u expect him to be upset!!!! He obviosly loves her so why would u brake it up! Your treating him like he's 8 years old! Let him go out with her! He is definattly old enough!
2006-07-13 18:09:43 · answer #9 · answered by summer luvver :D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Classic- the more you try to take him away from a situtation the more they will be drawn to it. To the point of true fixation.
good luck
2006-07-13 17:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by JulyBaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋