my son has started the terrible 2 phase at age 13months. what to do?

Question

my son since the day he was born has been perfect. He always slept great, ate well and cuddled and over all was just good. But now its the total oppisite. He is bitting, smacking, whining and anything else he can do to drive me crazy. Dont get me wrong i love my son but this is not like him so i feel its my fault. I am a nanny and can totaly handle this from others kids but with him i feel lost. thanks for your help.

i feel he is to young to disapline but what am i to do? i dont want this to last where he walks all over me but i also dont want to dismiss his behavior as nothing.

Answer 1

Sounds about right.

I don't think there is a magic bullet. You just have to muddle through.

Have only a few rules, clear and consistent discipline, give lots of love, and try to "catch" him doing things right. Give him little chores to help you with. (My 12-month-old, who is starting into her terrible twos, likes to help sort laundry, or put dirty clothes in the basket, or put shoes away...stuff like that.)

Don't give in to the drama. Pretend you can't see him when he pitches a fit (at home--different rules apply, obviously, in different situations!). I used to walk around the house asking, "Where is Phoebe? She was just here a minute ago, but now I can't find her!" when my now three-year-old was being a pill. Sometimes I'd even toss a lap blanket over her, laughing, and tell her that I couldn't hear her or see her when she whined. It would usually jolly her out of her mood. And then I'd distract her with something else to do. Be cheerful, and don't let the whining get to you. (I know, easier said than done!)

Hitting, biting, smacking...not acceptable. We'd put Phoebe in the playpen with no toys and ignore her for a few minutes when she did things like that.

We also invented our own "catechism."

Rule #1: NO WHINING!

Rule #2: Don't feed the alligators.

Rule #3: No hitting, biting, kicking, scratching. We don't hurt our friends!

Rule #4: Never, ever go in the street unless you're holding Mama or Daddy's hand.

Those pretty much covered all the bases for a while. Later, we added another one, about undoing buckles or touching the door handle in the car.

To this day, we can ask Phoebe, "What's the number one rule?" and she says, "NO WHINING!" "What happens when you break the rules?" "Time out." "You want a time out?" "No!" And she usually stops whining.

But every kid is different, and you'll just have to figure out what works for yours.

I'm sure our 12-month-old is going to be a handful...

Answer 2

There is a really good book by Dr. Charles Dobson, which outlines what to do. It's called "Dare to Discipline". If you want him to listen to you and follow your rules as a teenager, the time to start is right now. He has to learn that "no" means no. He also has to learn that age-appropriate consequences will follow behavior which is against the rules. He has a short attention span right now so lessons will have to be CONSISTANT and repeated OFTEN. If you aren't consistant, he will become confused. Children with no limits wind up scared and generally unpleasant to be around.

I have a friend who has a daughter who will be three at the end of January. This little girl is a joy to be around. She is bright, has an unbelievable vocabulary, and is very well behaved. Inappropriate behavior and temper tantrums have always been addressed in a firm, loving voice as "Not Nice!" She is told that her behavior is unacceptable and what to do to correct it. If she doesn't correct the behavior, she is given a "time out" in her room. These periods are never more than a few minutes, but you would be amazed at how effective they are. She is never screamed at, belittled or hit. Her parents speak to her calmly and although she may cry when she is told to go to her room, she goes and after a few minutes, she calms herself, returns to the room, apologizes for her behavior and resumes whatever activity she was engaged in.

I would suggest this book to any new parent. In fact, I have begun including it in all shower gifts to new mothers.

Answer 3

take a deep deep breath and relax,the 2's are terrible... till they reach 3 then it gets worse muuuuch worse!
Seriously speaking now! at that age it's best to let them have a little lead way,they are going from infant to toddler practically over night and it is a big adjustment.Even though they are such a young age,they know exactly which buttons to push to get what they want from Mom.They begin learning this the day you bring them home from the hospital.They learn what type of cry will bring you to a screeching halt and be at their beckon call! It's at this age ( 2 )when you introduce a few basic rules and things will go much smoother if you can stand firm on your decisions.Believe me the first time they say"oh please mommy puuulease" and finaly you get so tired of the begging you say "ok" You've lost control and your life will be a living night mare! From that moment on,you might as well say yes to everything they want,because they will scream,beg and cry (especially in front of other people) because they already know you'll eventually say yes! My first child taught me the most valuable lessons in life!

Answer 4

My daughter is almost 15months and she has been doing the same things for about a month. What i do is i let her know what she is doing wrong and i praise her when she does good. Every child is going to be different but you have to take matters into you on hands. Try different thing to see which he responds to the best then take thing from there. There really isn't anything that anyone including my self can tell you that will make him understand what he is doing is wrong but you. You are his mother and he knows what pushes your buttons just try to breath and you will find you answer i promise just keep trying

Answer 5

This may sound harsh, but I know from expeirence form my cousins:

Buck up. They want a cookie after dinner? Make sure they eat all they're food. They want to watch TV? Make sure they've been good.

Anyway, be a little stricter. Check back soon. Tomorrow I'm makeing my Grandma answer this question. Beware You're in for a beating.

Answer 6

Yeah, the undesirable twos come on early for various infants. that's in contrast to on their 731st day of life, they circulate from angel to demon. :-) grant selections, yet do no longer bend. provide him suited suggestions, and persist with them. in the cup factor, enable him elect between the yellow one and yet another. If he nevertheless throws a in large condition via fact he needs the only in the sink, remind him that it relatively is not considered one of his suggestions. The in large condition won't stop that 2d (it is going to in all probability worsen), yet as quickly as he knows the obstacles and bounds, the frequency of the tantrums will cut back, via fact he will understand they are no longer getting him what he needs. the clarification that's such an argument for him is maximum possibly led to via the certainty that he's beginning as much as have his very own needs and suggestions and evaluations, yet being a toddler, he does not have the potential to make that decision. In circumstances like that, the in large condition isn't concerning to the cup itself, it is what the cup represents: his transforming into independance and his transforming into frustration in a worldwide the place for useful motives, he won't have the ability to continuously exert his independance. around the comparable age while they initiate the "undesirable twos", maximum youngsters are extremely candy while they are no longer being extremely monsterous. rather of needing your exciting loving (compliant) toddler back, cherish the candy moments that are there.

Answer 7

Even though its technically illegal, as a MD i would say it would be ok to giuve him a bit of wine to calm him down. Not tooo much though. About 1/100 of his body weight.

Answer 8

Just ride it out. My daughter's terrible twos started at 15 months. I hear three is worse.

Answer 9

He is not trying to drive you crazy. You are human. It's okay to feel flustered and helpless, especially with the other person does not know how to express themselves without anger and physical violence. There is no "assessing blame." Be patient with yourself so you can be patient with him.

http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/pw_disc.htm

Answer 10

you feed him much sugar.u need stop fruit and juice.good for him but 2 much sugar.watch him be crazy when has juice and fruits and sugar. watch. i know