I think I might have had a miscarriage and will be going to the Doctor. I am so scared to tell my boyfriend because it is going to crush him that I lost the baby. I know he will be understanding but I'm still nervous. What is the best way for a couple to deal with such a traumatic experience without going to a therapist?
2006-07-13 16:15:09 · 13 answers · asked by Sara Lee 23 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
When we sometimes have life changing events happen in our life we tend to become worry what other people will think. And not so much as other people in our life but the close ones. We love these people so much....we want these people to respect and love us and we don't want to be judge by them. Being judge by the one you love is the worst. Its a normally feeling that you have to conquer.
Let me say though we all go through a rough part in our life and feel scared to share with the one we need too. Your not alone and your not alone with other women that have had miscarriages.
First you need to go and tell your boyfriend. I'm sure it will crush him but has it not crush you? Can't y'all share your feelings together? Support each other?You need that extra love and support right now. And I'm sure he would WANT to be there for you! No one is to blame for this and you and your boyfriend will make it. You have to remember to never blame anyone of this during the next couple months. Communication is a Key in your relationship. Talk to each other...express your feelings... be their for each other.. and let each other handle your grief in your own way. Its going to be hard road but sadly many have traveled it. There are many support groups to go too or just online that off support for the female and the male. And if you need to as much as you don't want too.. you could go to a therapist. It doesn't mean anythings the a matter with you or him..Sometimes you just need someone to help your through a part in your life.
I'm sorry to hear your sad news and your in my thoughts. Just remember everyone handles tramutic events differently...some cry and yell, some need therapy, and some are silent and don't want to talk about it. Just talk to him .. And Y'all will work something out to help both of you get through this succesfully.
So ...Take a deep breath ..And go tell him now.. don't put off something like this or don't hold in something so painful. Go cry on his shoulder... just tell him....
Much love.. and soft hugs,,,And your never alone..
2006-07-13 17:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by GoldenGirlBecca 1 · 6⤊ 1⤋
This is never an easy thing to deal with!
You need to be straight up and honest with him cause you will both need each other to lean on.
The sooner you talk to him the better and yes i agree ask him to come to the doctors with you. I sympathise with you, no mater what stage a miscarriage happens what you are experiencing now is grief and it hurts like nothing else. But be kind to yourself nothing you could have done would have stopped it from happening, for some unknown reason it is just one of those things that just happen.
Take it one day at a time and see each other through it.
You are both dealing with a big loss and even though it will get easier with time it never totally goes away. I genuinely hope and pray that some time in the near future you Get another chance a becoming a mum.
2006-07-13 17:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is never an easy thing to deal with. My ex had 2 miscarriages while we were together. She never tried to hide it from me, which I have always apprecitated. While your boyfriend may get upset, I'm sure he will be more concerned about your health and mental state. In my opinion, it's alot easier to come forward now, than to risk doing it later. Most guys would probably be upset that their girlfriend held this information from them, and would probably cause unwanted emotions(fighting, yelling, accusations). Most couples can deal with problems like this by simply talking to each other, which alot of people don't seem to do anymore. Or you could both always talk with your doctor. Either way, good luck in whatever you decide, and hopefully everything will turn out for the better.
2006-07-13 16:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by twiztid4life75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the doctor and tell him when your sure, or if he's going with you, tell him now. Its not just HIS baby that was lost and you can try again soon. There's always a time of adjustment for the mother as her body readjusts (my sister lost 3 before having 2 girls) and she was devasted each time as we all were for her. Your not in this alone, and neither is he.
Without therapy, the best way is to either TALK or write down your feelings when you have them. EXPRESS THEM and get them out. Go to the library and get books on GRIEF AND GRIEF COUNSELING because you will be going through it.
Good luck.
2006-07-13 16:54:01 · answer #4 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to do this is for u to ask to come with u to ur doctors appointment. the reason for this is that the doctors know how do tell u both and he will be the truest friend u can get right there. asking friends or doing this might help with alerting ur BF about the possibilities. but the best thing for u to do is just bring him with u. so ur doc can help u both at the same time if need be.
2006-07-13 16:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by billt_in_71 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family doctor together, and maybe talk to some friends too. There are other avenues other than seeing a therapist, but, therapists can give you both some coping mechanisms for when things seem tough..so do not discount the value of seeing a therapist even once.
2006-07-13 16:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by caz_v8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight with him. Be honest and tell him your feelings. I am sure he would want to be there for you as well, you can get through it together. I recently had a loss at 4 weeks pregnant. But even though I was BARELY pregnant when we found out and lost it days later, we still mourned the loss. It's only healthy. But I am sooo sorry you are going through it. I'm sure you will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy soon.
2006-07-13 16:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by seraphikah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had 2 miscarriages and it was one of the hardest things i have had to deal with. You just need to tell him and be there for each other. You will need all the support you can get.
2006-07-13 16:34:19 · answer #8 · answered by housewives5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my boyfriend talk about it and the doctor talk to us about it. Your time was not know to have a baby. God will give you that gift when he thinks you are ready. I had a miscarriage in october and i got pregant again in dec- jan and i am due in sept. You will have your chance
2006-07-13 17:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by cheridever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend..he may be crushed but u probably are too..u will need eachother right now and this could actually strengthen your relationship
2006-07-13 16:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋