If I work 40 hrs a week, and she is a stay-at home mom (3 kids), how should the housework be divided?

Question

Not trying to get out of anything or minimize what she does, just wondering what other couples do in this situation and how they feel about it.

Answer 1

Man at least take out the trash. Help with the kids. Like give her a break from them every once in a while. She will appreciate that. When you go places help her get the children ready. And, when you are out take the boys (if you have any) to potty or change diapers. There is nothing sexier than a man who carries a diaper bag. (Really, I am not the only woman who feels this way). That's a cool thing that will make her feel like you are really helping. Bring home dinner sometimes so she won't have to cook every night. You know little things add up to big things in the end. And a woman loves her man to keep up with the maintainance of the vehicle. Make sure the tires have air, oil change, check fluids ...you know things that you can do. Sometimes you might ask her, "Honey, what can I do to help." Good luck!

Answer 2

You work 40 hrs a week and she works 168 hours per week. Seriously - staying home with 3 kids is hard work. However, the housework should be shared by both of you. I'm not saying equally but use your best judgment. For example there should be 1/2 the days in the week were she's able to do some wash, keep the dishes clean and do general house cleaning, vacuuming, etc. On the days you come home and see that some of these things were not done, step up and help out. Never tell her it's "her job" to do these things - that's the kiss of death and will cause big problems in your house. If however, you come home and all to often you see the house is a wreck and there's no good reason why she hasn't done any house work, you need to drive home the fact that if she is going to stay home she needs to be doing these things on a regular basis. For example: My wife is home with our 3 kids, when I do house work which may be every other day I do the dishes and straighten rooms up, organize, do some laundry, etc. She does these things as well throughout the week. I almost never pick up cleaning products and mop or scrub bathrooms. Also, take over with the kids when you get home and allow her time to do housework without having to chase after the kids at the same time.
Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Since you didn't ay what the kids ages are, I'm going to assume that at least one is not in school yet. Thats what can make it hard to get anything done around the house, cause the little ones can really derail you from chores.

I think the best thing you can do is just help where you see the need each day. You're a grown up do you really need a list? But you could make sure to do certain things consistently, like take out the trash or empty dishwasher.
Help get the kids ready for bed thats a biggie. Something that would earn major brownie points is if you were to fix dinner once a week. Not pizza or take out but a real meal.
The fact that you are asking, means you are thinking about her needs too and thats great. Good luck

Answer 4

Thank you for being an awesome man and working hard for your family so that your wife can stay home and raise your kids. My husband just recently took on a job so I can stay home with our kids and all I can tell you is that I feel that most of the house is my responsibility. I make his lunch every day, and have a plate of dinner ready with a clean house when he gets home. Gently suggest that your wife read Dr. Lauras book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands....its an eye opener. I take pride in making sure I anticipate my husbands needs, just make sure to give her a break from the kids, and tell her how clean the house looks etc etc. Good luck ....By the way, I am using my hubbies ID:)

Answer 5

Here's what I do --- 5 days a week I do a couple of things each day.
I am there all the time (usually up by 7am) --- and with machines doing the washing and drying, the dishwasher does the dishes --- We make up the beds (that takes about 20min. ---sometimes we play around)---it's not a big deal to keep the house presentable --- run the vacuum over the floor twice a week. The kids can pick up their toys and put them in their toy boxes. --- I don't watch soap operas(fixing meals) --- what does the spouse do after work --- puts away dishes - his own laundry and bathes the little ones ---lays out clothes for the next day.
Work out a system and stick to it----

Answer 6

Just because she don't work outside the home she put in 40+ hours a week with the kyds. Kyds are a full time job and some. I know I have 4 kyds and my hubsand work and go to school but the little things he do count, like help get them ready for bed are clean up the dishes after dinner every now and then. Remember the LITTLE things count. Try to have a mommie sit back day once a month even, its cool mommie get to do her own thing.

Answer 7

I'm a stay at home mom and my hubby works. We only have 1 child. I do all the cleaning, laundry, ironing and the bills. While he does the maintnance around the house. Mowing, weeding, cleaning the gutters etc. Our situation is different b.c I hate it when my hubby cooks or cleans up. I know it sounds mean but it is never good enough. I'm a neat freak and he, well, isn't. I am thankful that he tires anyways. Sometimes I love it when he just asks to help me out. Even though I might end up doing it the thought is just a great as the action.

Answer 8

If she is a stay at home mother of 3 children then she is working 24 hours per day which adds up to about 168 hrs per week and since you're only working 40 hrs per week...she can do the laundry and cook dinner and you should be responsible for the rest since you have more time on your hands...lol.

Answer 9

You are bringing the money and she is taking care of the children. Both tasks involve lots of effort, for which housework could be equally divided and, by the way, including the children in those chores might be a good idea to promote family time doing things altogether (think on the chores more like a "fun" thing to do with your wife and children).

Answer 10

As fair as possible. You two both work your butts off all day. But think about it, whatever time you wake for work and leave, she is up with 3 kids, while your at work and get little breaks for lunch or smoke, she is with 3 kids. While you get to talk "adult" talk to your co-workers, she is home with 3 kids. Doing some house work too IM sure, then cooking dinner for you her and 3 kids. So after you have eaten and you want to take it easy from a long hard day at work, her day still continues till she goes to bed with 3 kids????

You both work hard all day so when you come home you need to figure out what things you will take care of and what she will take care of.

There is nothing wrong with you coming home and wanting to have a little time to unwind or something, but .......

You guys need accept eachothers role, appreciate eachother, and in that, and some communication you can work out a happy medium.