I have been seeing this guy for about a mont now. It is great sex and fun dancing with him.the thing is we are both married. His reasoning is because his wife wont have sex with him or go out with him. and mine is because my hubby is the same way. i know it is wrong but we have both talked to our spouses about the problem and still no improvement. I do not want to leave my hubby cuz everything ellse in our relationship is great. but i dont want to stop seeing this guy cuz we have alot of fun 2gether. Does this make me a bad person?
2006-07-13 15:00:45 · 61 answers · asked by SeXy TiGeR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
♥ I dont have to tell u that what u are doing is bad, because u already know that it is... and you already know that marriage is a sacred and important thing.... but in the same sense I see where your coming from and why you feel the way you do.... so no your not a bad person your just making a bad decision that could later result in a lot of heartache for two married couples...if you truly love your husband think about how much hurt he will go through if he ever finds out...and the guilt that u will feel... really think about what you want to do and the consequences that can come with this.... did u ever see the movie Unfaithful? Good luck with your situation ♥
2006-07-13 15:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by ?Blonde_Queen? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
What you are doing is adultery. Is that bad? Only you can make that decision. What if your spouses found out about this affair you two are having? Even if you don't want to leave your spouses, your spouses may leave you. Yes, you need attention, but you need to get it from your spouse, or leave your spouse then be with this man--once he has left his spouse. You two are definitely playing with fire and it will catch up to you sooner or later. Affairs hurt everyone involved: the two of you, your guys' spouses, your guys' families, children if you have them, etc. Do you really want to hurt all of these people in your guys' lives? Take all of the energy you use on this guy and use it on your spouse. There are ways to get the spark back into relationships, and talking is NOT the way. It takes action. It may take action just on your part at first, but he will eventually get it. If not, then it maybe time to move on.
If you two are cheatng on your spouses now, what is to say that if you two were single, then got married later, that you guys wouldn't do it to each other? I believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. There is absolutey NO excuse or reason for cheating. Any of them you use is just your way of trying to make it right for yourself.
2006-07-13 15:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not a "bad" person, but Danielgirl is right. You're only doing what most people would do if they were denied a basic human need.
If your husband will not give you sex AT ALL you have to tell him he is denying you something you need very much and that you must be allowed some type of reasonable outlet.
However, going behind his back and using an outlet he didn't agree to (other men) results in dishonoring your relationship.
Be honest. There has to be a better way than this.
2006-07-13 15:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not make you a bad person. These types of relationships are often very difficult to maintain. You or your sex partner begin to want more from each other and one of you is not willing to give more. As you said, your happy with your hubby except for the lack of sex. If your bf is fine with no additonal strings attached and you can get together from time to time for a love fest then you'll be ok.
PS: Most married men would dream of having a sex partner that doesn't want anything more in a relationship, allowing his home life remain unchanged.
2006-07-13 15:19:12 · answer #4 · answered by Champ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a bad person. Every so often people run into each others that have similar issues and they instantly click. The problem is ... that you two are married... You really need to know that cheating does have its consequences and can you two both handle the end results.... Other wise, talk things over with your spouse and try to encourage them to go out sometimes.... to add some spice into the relationship.... If they dont agree.... Do you!!!! but be prepared for whatever results......
2006-07-13 15:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by georgia peach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, just sounds like your having your cake and eating it too! If you want to have fun (and that's what it sounds like!), then handle your business and have fun! HOWEVER, the mature thing to do would be honest w/ your husband and work out the issue or leave the relationship b/c all of your needs are not being fulfilled. There's nothing more sexier and comforting than being w/ one person who can meet ALL of your needs. Been there, done that and the novetly of "creeping" gets old real quick! Good luck in deciding what do to do.
2006-07-13 15:06:39 · answer #6 · answered by babylovenc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexy Tiger, we are nobody to judge you, or your behavior. But you are not being honest with your husband. At this point you have not respect for him, and no even for yourself. The same situation with the person you are "dating" right now, he is not honest, he has no respect. He doesn't worth. My father says all the time, if you have no respect in life, you have nothing. Talk to your husband. Explain what is happening in the relationship (i mean about having no great sex with him). Try to find an honest solution. And however in this chat forum we don't see each other faces, that situation is too personal. You are not suppose to share it with the rest of the world. Your private life is right now very public.
Good Luck to you.
2006-07-13 15:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by NA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your husband then I think you should stay with him. You and your new friend really need to try to work things out with your spouses. Try to get envolved in what they do a little. Try to encourage to go do something nothing fancy just go somewhere and have fun. I guess what I'm saying is "try to rebuild the relationship like you were young but yes, in the back of your mind "your an adult." Wish the 4 of you luck.
2006-07-13 15:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by Paula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that definitely means your a bad person. Look at yourself in your husband's eyes. While he thinks your honest and faithful, your actually not. Think about how he will react when he finds out your straight up cheating on him. You might have great sex and dancing in the short run, but in the long run all you will have is an ugly divorce and no husband.
2006-07-13 15:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by twolves323 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The definition of "bad" differs for each person. You obviously feel guilty, so you must think of yourself as a "bad" person. If your husband or the other wife finds out, they will need to make a decision about whether they can stay in the marriage. I don't think your marriage will ever be the same after this, though.
2006-07-13 15:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋