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2006-07-13 14:47:16 · 20 answers · asked by suavechulo007 2 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

i appreciate the answers of those who took my question seriously. i am a straight guy who is simply trying to crawl out of the homo-ignorant pool of misunderstanding. others of you instead what to use my ignorance as a platform to demean me. it is one thing to be ignorant through innocence, it is more repugnant to be ignorant by demeaning the innocent who are unaware or have a lack of knowledge they are trying to remedy.

2006-07-13 15:37:24 · update #1

20 answers

A common refrain among lesbians and bisexuals who do not understand the appeal of butch women is "If I wanted to be with someone who looks like a man, I'd be with a man!" Butch lesbians are not "knock-offs of men". Men and women, gay or straight can possess masculine and feminine qualities. Some possess more or less then others. "male" traits in females constitute something else altogether. Butches are expressing a different way of being a woman, or simply of being gendered. Rather than attempting to replicate traditional masculinity and heterosexuality, butches present a challenge to both in their rejection of how the dominant culture has decided a woman should look and act.

Criticism of butch-femme was usually based on the claim that these identifications are an attempt to replicate heterosexuality by designating one member of a couple as male (the butch) and the other as female (the femme). Even today this argument is frequently aired. However, it is highly problematic because of its own underlying assumption of heteronormativity--that is, the tenet that heterosexuality is normal, and that all other forms of sexuality are only weak imitations of it. Butch-femme need not be an imitation of anything; it is a unique way of living and loving.

2006-07-13 15:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by Nate 4 · 3 0

Wow, how many times am I going to have to answer this question....

Seriously think abotu what you're asking....do you fall for a person because of their clothes or haircut? If you met someone who looked like a woman, acted like a woman, sounded like a woman, would you still be with them if they had a penis?? NOOOO because THAT's The part that matters to you correct? For that matter do you think a lesbian is going to hook up with that same person just because they look like a woman, act like a woman, and talk like a woman? NOOOO same reason, they have a penis. You either like the plumbing on the outside or you don;t, it's THAT simple. Everything else is debatable when you meet...style, height, hair color etc. But if you are gay or straight you know what's important underneath all that other superficial stuff. People are people. Everyone has different preferences etc.

Refelcting back after I answerred, I think songbird hit the nail on the head tho. What great answer!!!!!

P.S. I AM NOT a knock off version of a man lol. I like to think I am androgynous. I will lift heavy objects, mow the lawn, fix the stairs and set up a candlelight dinner, send flowrs, remember all aniversaries etc And id rather go out to the movies with my girl , or talk to her, or go somewhere and do something with her, or even read a book than watch football, baseball, or anything else on TV lol.

2006-07-13 22:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by scorp 3 · 1 0

Because that's just it, the "man acting" lesbian, is still NOT a man! There is a bunch of different reasons why girls love girls! One being, a lot of girls treat girls better than men do, we understand each other, we know what the other want, simply because we are both woman! Some girls have had bad experinces with men and are through with them. Some girls, like in my case, i am lesbian, but i simply fell in love with the soul of my girlfriend! Not the fact that one day i woke up and was like hey, i think i am going to be a lesbian today, it was the person that she was! Watch the movie "boys don't cry"! Anyways, some girls are just absolutely disgusted by men, no offense! And not all lesbians are with butch lesbians, some are femmes with femmes, butch with butch, or mixed!

2006-07-14 00:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by munkypoo1 3 · 2 0

The reason that many lesbian "femmes" prefer to be with a "stud" or a "butch" is because the like that part about the male...being domininant...not as feminine...and takin the role as the care giver or the "male" of the household! Just like a str8 female likes to have a male figure by their side taking care of them a lesbian "femme" female likes to have the same type of stability in a rship...

Now the whole thing of likin to get a strapped used on you is what i ask...b/c what is the point of me being with a female and you are using a penis to penitrate me!

~Thats Only My Opinion~

2006-07-18 15:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Reignboebrite 1 · 2 0

They may look like a man, but underneath it all they are still a woman. If you are attracted to breasts and vagina's and not penises, it doesn't make sense to be with a man right? And some lesbians are more attracted to a masculine woman than a feminine woman. Just a preference. But remember, they are still a woman no matter how they dress.

2006-07-13 23:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie 6 · 2 0

Ahem, dearie. You have your "butches" and your "femmes", your "supermodels" and your "chickenheads", and your "roughnecks" and "choirboys". For heaven sakes, man! Live and let live! Does it bother you when you see a pretty lady with a butchy woman? Or a nerd with a bombshell cutie? It's like this, hon. People are attracted to whatever turns them on; it's the same for straight folks as well as GLBT folks. As long as you're happy with the one you're with, let others be happy as well.

2006-07-13 22:17:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 2 0

They want to be with a woman but aren't attracted to femininity. Maybe they don't like male genetilia, don't like scruffy faces, don't like to hear their partner pee standing up.

Maybe they like larger breasts. Maybe they don't like the way a guy smells after he sweats, or like it when his guy is out with "the boys".
Maybe "butch" lesbians are more willing to do the dishes, help with the kids, help with the housework.

Maybe they don't like to take birth conotrol, or even chance pregnancy. Maybe they love the female form, and the "contadiction" of her masculinepersonality.

maybe it's love.

2006-07-13 22:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by Songbird 5 · 2 0

Because she is a lesbian.

Why is that so hard to understand?

How would you react to this question:

Why does a straight man want to be with a pretty woman, when he could just be with an effeminate man?

2006-07-13 21:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by michael941260 5 · 2 0

Because they are not attracted to men. That is why they are called lesbians. Is that stated simply enough for you?

2006-07-14 11:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by golden oldy 5 · 2 0

I never understood that either... If I liked woman I would want someone who acts and looks like one... Not a knock off version of a man.

2006-07-13 22:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by lecia 2 · 0 2

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