My brother is a really great guy but he has this one major flaw. He is completely spineless when it comes to people outside the family. What can I do to help him?
2006-07-13 14:45:53 · 16 answers · asked by karias68 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
TY Ronyea Q .................llywarch .....FYI He and I didnt grow up together........So its not my fault.....Try being a little more considerate to others who have ligit concerns
2006-07-13 15:02:13 · update #1
Show him how to have a backbone, you cant be to rude he is your brother but tell him that you don't like seeing him be walked on, he needs to find a way that works for him to deal with people
in a way that he won't get his opinion stomped on. Have him try some self help classes/exercises i don't know if this is the direct problem but try this web site and see if it helps you?
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/overcoming_shyness_tips.htm
2006-07-13 14:50:09 · answer #1 · answered by ~Ronyea Q♪ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I always hear from every one that I need to grow a backbone. I am such a winie about everything and I never have the guts to stand up to anyone. There's nothing you can really say to him because only he can determine if he wants to change or not. It shouldn't hurt his feelings. But telling him can make him aware of what he does. Then he will think twice when he has a cituation approached. He will always have on his mind that he was told he needs to grow a spine. Be honest, it always works.
2006-07-13 21:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by mary a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, don't use the word spineless.
If (and only if) he comes to you for advice, tell him that he could stand to be a little bolder and take some chances.
If he doesn't come to you for advice, I'd recommend not saying anything until a situation comes up that really worries you. Whatever you do, be as gentle in your wording as possible. He probably has quite a fragile ego, and especially if he's older he may not appreciate getting told he's a wimp by his sister.
2006-07-13 21:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by Cyn90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he back down from confrontation or is he just shy around other people.
if hes shy its because he feels insecure so build him up, point out his strong traits, never point out his faults, I'm sure plenty of others do that.
if he backs down from confrontation maybe he just doesn't it feel its worth the effort, after all it may not mater in an hour or tomorrow so why get worked up over an issue that wont matter.
you really didn't give enough information for anyone to draw a proper conclusion or give you a good answer
2006-07-13 22:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by eaglerock60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry, it will all come crashing down on him sooner or later.
if he's that spineless - nothing you do or say will help him in that situation, because he doesn't really care.
my bro was the same, untill he messed with the wrong people and ended up ion hospital.
even though we had kept telling him he needed an attitude adjustment, he just refused to listed. he's much better now.
2006-07-13 21:51:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you love him and can't stand the fact that he will be hurt so much in his life if he doesn't learn to stand up for himself. Then you and your family need to let him handle everything on his own. This is my suggestion but only if he has a healthy mind and body and hasn't been tramatized during his life and not dealt with it yet. He will not be able to be promoted in jobs, handle relationships, or be a great parent if he can't discipline himself to be more assertive, not aggressive. I pray that everything works out for him and I thank you for caring so much for your brother in this crazy world where everyone is out for SELF!
2006-07-13 21:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly I'd tell him the truth. Maybe if people would stop tiptoeing around his feelings, maybe he'd develop a spine in the process of learning to deal with pain, disappointment, and all of life's problems.
2006-07-13 21:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by trucker1693 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can point out a flaw. Point out a solution instead. That will actually help. Next time you notice an example, elaborate upon what he can do instead.
2006-07-13 21:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think u should sit him down an b like bro u need 2 harden up u beenin 2 soft well mayb not dem words but jus tell him
2006-07-13 21:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by Queen B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do. Probably your fault any way. You probably were over protective of him, so you are now responsible for his short comings.
2006-07-13 21:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by llywarch_dindaethwy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋