2006-07-13 14:03:38 · 17 answers · asked by SeXy TiGeR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it sounds bad but i was with my ex for 5yrs and i always loved him even in the end when he was doing drugs and and cheating on me. but he is not the same way anymore. We have a doughter together and i see him everyonce in a while and i can see he has changed and about a yr ago he told me that he was still in love with me. I just dont know what to do. My husband is a good man but i am not in love with him and i havent been for a few yrs now. i just play the rols so that he will be happy. my heart belongs to my ex and it always will. I cant help the way i feel. i just need some advice on this one. please help.....
2006-07-13 14:10:48 · update #1
Yes it is unfair to your husband but I can understand where your coming from. You and your ex have a history and u also have a daughter so it's normal to have a sense of connection with him. Just make sure u keep in mind the reasons why your realtionship with your ex didn't work out to begin with. Weigh the options, is it worth losing a great guy for someone who has hurt u and put u through so much in the past? Maybe u should try to refocus your energy on spicing up you relationship with your husband and let go of the past.
2006-07-13 15:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by hazel_eyez 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Well...you are the only one who can really make a decision here,not this board, no matter what we say! You say your Ex has changed? Can he be trusted? How long has he been clean? Is he working? These are the things you need to consider and more before you either commit again to him or stay in your marriage. Feelings are hard to get rid of and by the gist of your message the feelings are very much still alive and well in your heart! Good Luck on whatever you decide!
2006-07-13 14:20:39 · answer #2 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex is cleaned up and your husband never catches you, than what is the harm. I have a hard time believing that people get married now a days anyway. Most marriages end in divorce. We just are not designed to be monogamous. Good luck to you and have fun, but maybe if your husband doesn't love you either you should get a divorce.
2006-07-13 15:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by The Princess of Pleasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww... yeah it isn't right, you should not have engaged in a marriage relationship while in love with your ex. It isn't fair to your current man or to yourself. You need to talk to a therapist to find out why it is that you feel this way.
How long have you been broken up? has it been a long time or is this marriage a rebound for you?
These are questions that you need to ask yourself, and you need to decide to either be in your marriage 110% or not to be in it at all. Either way you should talk to a counselor to explore your feelings it is entirely possible that you are just romaticizing and glorifying your ex because you aren't in the relationship with him.
I beg you talk to a professional for some help on this because it could lead you to cheat on your husband and that isn't fair to him and it could sabotage your chance to build a life worth having with your partner.
Good luck sweetie, and I hope this helps.
2006-07-13 14:08:52 · answer #4 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were not over him and still in love with him why on earth would you agree to marry someone else? How would you feel if that was done to you? Nobody likes to be second fiddle. Your current marriage will be going down the toilet if you don't make up your mind and commit to your ex or commit to your spouse, completely.
2006-07-13 14:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It is unfair to your husband, you're not able to give yourself completly to him when your mind, and heart is still with your ex. Just think about it, would you like it if your husband was still in love with his ex? And how could you really be happy. I f your heart still is with your ex, in the long run you're hurting not only yourself,but you're hurting your husband.
2006-07-13 14:14:27 · answer #6 · answered by kimpnd23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No....Yes because you have dedicated your love to your husband of now. And No its up to you to control your feelings you have for your ex. Why are you still in love with your ex?
2006-07-13 14:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have realized your feelings when you got married. Do you want to forget your ex bf or go back to him, you seem to forget that you are now in a permanent relationship. One that will now cost you some money to get out of. Which do you want??? You need to weigh your circumstances. Good Luck!!!
2006-07-13 14:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhhh...yeah. It's fine if you have a place in your heart for your ex, but to say you're in love with him? Sounds like you shouldn't have gotten married then...it's not fair to your husband.
2006-07-13 14:11:08 · answer #9 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Refocus your emotional energy on your husband. Do not see, think about, or talk with your ex.
Best wishes and God bless.
2006-07-13 14:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by bobhayes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋