Can't boys and girls just be friends?

Question

I met this guy not too long ago through friends and we've only hung out a couple of times since then. He knows I have a boyfriend of 2 years that I care about very much.

Last night, he tried to kiss me and I pulled away. After that happened he was acting like an asshole to me. Was he just embarrased? Or does he really just want one thing?

The fact that I've only known him a week makes me think he's a jerk I don't want to be around.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I'm starting to loose faith in men all together. The only man that let me move at my own pace is my boyfriend now. Is he one in a million?

Answer 1

I think that men are driven beyond just their own instincts. Society and the "manhood" ideals push men to make moves. I have a friend who is girl that I have known for several years. Their is an age difference and we aren't attracted to each other, those I know help. It is important to realize that sparks will always fly if you let them. Be wary of a guy who is unattached. You have to be on your guard to the signals you send, even if unconciously. In an article I read recently men were more likely to find a "connection" to a women than women reported. Try to find men who are busy, attached, or unattractive (not ugly; but not your type). These are men who will realize who you are: a friend, not a mate. I hope this helps!

Answer 2

Guys always have that lust factor. Some girls say they do too, but I can't speak for them. So a lot of the time, the guy that will act the most civil has to be your boyfriend.

Often, girls and guys are friends because the guy doesn't have much testosterone, or because he's not attracted to her at all (I'm ashamed to admit that my second best female friend is only just a friend because I'm not attracted). But then again, if the attraction involves actual caring about you, then he can try to actually be your friend - that's the case with my best female friend - also an ex-girlfriend.

So don't write all guys off as assholes. Give the guy a couple days worth of chances, and if he shows no signs of willingness to put forth an effort, he doesn't care much for you as a person, so cut him loose and don't look back.

Also, you might watch the movie When Harry Met Sally.

Answer 3

My daughter asked me the same question because she had a similar situation. I told her it depends. A guy or even a girl will start off as being your friend and to keep them as only a friend you must not do certain things like touch, go out frequently with just the two of you, and talk intimately. Once you start crossing some invisible line it becomes leading the other one on and they will unconsciously think of your friendship as something more. When it's plain that it's not, they will become angry, hurt and basically not your friend anymore. It's sad, but I've found this to be true. So there is hope. My daughter now has several guy friends and they understand where everything lies with her so they are all cool together. Also, I'm right there... yep, right there giving the 'mom eye' (LOL) - well I'm not that bad, they all like me.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like you just have trouble picking friends. Or that maybe these guys are getting the wrong idea about your friendship with them. Or you are so hot, most guys are willing to give it a try!

Of course he is embarrassed, he showed you that he likes you in that way, he exposed his feelings and got hurt, you are now a memory of him getting rejected.

It's possible he got the wrong idea, if you smile at him a certain way. I've asked a girl out because we both were smiling at each other as we passed each other, she rejected me, didn't give me a reason why (I don't think she was going out with any one). I felt that she was the one that started the smiling thing.

I also had another experience, where me and girl were smiling at each other a lot. I heard that she had a boyfriend so I didn't try anything, later I heard from her friend that she was thinking about dumping her boyfriend to go out with me. But I didn't know what to do, I felt it would be bad if I did something while she was still going out with the guy, plus I didn't like the idea of her comparing me to some one else and then dumping which ever one she didn't like. So I wanted her to dump the guy first, so I ended up giving up on her.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend probably IS one in a million

But still, some men are only interested in one thing. This guy started acting like a JERK because he was rejected. Even though he KNOWS you SHOULD have rejected him, guys don't handle it well. The fact that he tried to kiss you knowing you had a boyfriend means he lacks maturity to even try kissing you in the first place. So his reaction just reiterates his lack of maturity.

There ARE men that can be friends with women. I have a LOT of them. He might be capable of being your friend, but he seems to not be ready to handle that level of responsibility.

Answer 6

It is sad that this guy you mention can't see you as a friend. The fact may be that you hang out with him he though you would cheat on your boyfriend. This guy have to respect the fact that you have a boyfriend and not put pressure on you and then turn around and act like a fool, when you would not cheat on your boyfriend.

There was this girl that i liked who was having issues with her on and off again boyfriend. We hang out a lot and i was there when she needed some one to tell of things troubling her. From the time she made back with her boyfriend and was sleeping by him.

I gave her space and even though she was angry with me for not hanging out with her like before, i respected her decision and stayed away from her. If i said that i notice that you made back with your boyfriend so I'm staying away. She would twist this around and say i was only trying to use her and not genuine.

I'm careful were relationships are concern as there are men as well as women. Even though they have some one serious in their life will try and use you into thinking you two have a life and then dump you later on.

So i avoided this by keeping a safe and healthy distance from her and at the same time keeping the friendship alive.

Answer 7

Don't be too quick to write off men all together. There is a lot of ******* out there, b ut there a few great ones too. And it is possible to have guy friends that are strictly friends. The down side to that is, thye will start to treat you like a guy yourself. Which is kinda cool, but make sure you still have some female friends to get you sane...

Answer 8

call him, like you see him baby. he is a jerk. men will do only what you allow them. he was not embarssed. thank God you put him in his place. move on. he doesnt even know you, then to have the nerve to try to make a move. come on! he was a JERK. dont lose faith in men. all are not like the fools you seem to have associated with. nevertheless some are going to give it a "try".
so to answer your question? yes, i have been friends with a man for over five years. friends and its great. we go out, hang out and kick it! we can talk about everything and i get the male perspective/view and i'm married. so it has too be the men your choosing to associate with/be friends with, because everyone is not friend material. BOYFRIEND=
yes, he must be one in a million and your friend!

Answer 9

you've hung out a couple of times but you've known him only a week? doesn't sound like a "friend" in the first place. he's a guy that wants to get with you and made a move. inconsiderate but normal for a guy his age (assuming he's a "boy"). that's what a lot of single boys do at that age - not all of us, but get used to it. just keep your own standards up. he won't make a good friend. but don't lose your faith in guys altogether... there are plenty of us who WILL make good friends.

Answer 10

of course not there are other guys like that. but the guy that u are talking about maybe u shou.d just ditch him being friends with a guy isnt always so great if he wants to well, do u. u should get out of that right away if he goes any farther and your boyfriend sees that the guy that u actually care about will be nothing. good luck