me n this guy were making out n stuff, but he ended up sexually assautling me....i tried letting him know i didnt want sex by nudging him and tryin to get his attention but he was toally ignoring me. i didnt want to do it and i let him know, and according to my therapst that shuld jhave been enough. its been a year since it happened, and at the time of the incident i was wit my current b/f. i didnt tell my b/f he had sex wit me....its been a yr and i still havnt said somethin. how do i tell him now? he's going to b mad that i've been lieing to him about wat really happened....and hes gonna blame me for not bein strong enough to take back control when it happened.....hes gunna be suspicious of why ive waited for so long, too.........
2006-07-13 12:11:54 · 10 answers · asked by suzi q 1 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
He already knows about tha making out part, he's ok w/ it now. We wernt serius at the time nywayz
2006-07-13 12:22:14 · update #1
i told my b/f up until he started havin sex wit me an he himself called it sexual asasult too....
2006-07-13 12:24:23 · update #2
just tell him that you love him, but this happened to you and it was beyond your control and if he questions why you waited tell the truth, you didn't know how to say it. you might make an appointment with your therapist and go together just to mediate things so he's clear that this was a tramatic experience for you and not you covering up an affair.
2006-07-13 12:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be suprised if the intial arguement goes like this:
Your thereapist is a quack.
You were not sexually assualted, but had sex and don't want to admit your part in it.
Why didn't you come to me first?
I think your boyfriend has a right to be mad and if it took you a whole year to deal with it. Then you whould at least give him a lot of time to be mad at you too.
2006-07-13 12:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Rockford 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he called it sexual attack, he will imagine the sex area became attack, too. tell him you pick to search for suggestion from from him about the incident and that you pick some help. Then tell him there became so much better too it. you've been ashamed to inform him, yet now you comprehend it wasn't your fault. no matter if it makes for a rocky patch on your relationship now, there is no way you could proceed to have a healthful relationship, feeling the way you do about it, with out speaking on your bf about it. besides that, it may help you deal with it noticeably. If he became supportive of the "making out" area, he will be supportive of the sex area, likely even somewhat better offended with the different guy. purely be open. A relationship you could't be open in isn't healthful.
2016-12-01 05:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever call the COPS ? After all ... you have been thru something really traumatic. He should know but only if you feel right in telling him. Ask your therapst. Work out a plan and then do it. Good luck .
2006-07-13 12:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by papo9112001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do u feel u have to tell him such a personal matter? You waited because you werent ready at the time...why do you have to open up a can of worms? I wouldnt if it was me...but thats ME...its something I would deal on my own...If I could see that my bf was MATURE enough to handle that type of news then maybe I would consider it...but just to tell him so as to share that with him..I could see if you were having problems with ur sex life with ur current bf ...but obviously ur not..so why bring it up?? I wouldnt...not at all...Good Luck
2006-07-13 12:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by celine8388 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either be honest and come out with it or you forget it and be like every other person with a skeleton in your closet
If it some how comes out on its own, you could always say you just hate to talk about it and your therapist said that was ok not to.
2006-07-13 13:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him.
He shouldn't be mad that you've kept this information from him. Obviously it has been bothering you recently and you need to open up to him and talk to him about your past experience.
You are not to blame for what happened to you. If he tries to blame you, then walk away from him. If he truely loves/cares about you, then he will stay by your side.
2006-07-13 12:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Laurie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So the real question here is how do you tell you BF that you were making out with another guy while you were dating him, not that you were assaulted. The assault is the innocent part and that is easy to tell.
2006-07-13 12:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by goose1077 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest and let him know that is all you can do
2006-07-13 12:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by alysonbaeza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
2006-07-13 12:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jacob Nickelson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋