My friend needs help....please.....guys and girls!!!!!?

Question

Ok here is the situation:
My best friend and her exboyfriend have been broken up about 3 months now. They talk on the phone and sometimes see each other. Well, when they see each, he still tries to hold her hand and treat her like if she was his girlfriend. They sometimes kiss and both act like they were together, but they are not. They have been having sex every once and a while whenever they have a chance to see each other and spend time together. Now here comes the problem:
He was the one that broke up with her but he acts like he still cares. There are times when he doesn't call her one day or two but they do talk on the phone. She is starting to not like the idea that he just wants to be friends and not be in a relationship when both of them act and show each other love.They were together for 4 years. Now, what can she do?She thinks that being friends with "benefits" is not good anymore because she thinks that he is getting used to it and she would hurt more emotionally?HELP!!!

Answer 1

Sounds to me like he wants his cake and to eat it to. He probably still has feelings for her but was feeling tied down by the exclusive relationship. He wants to be able to have fun without the responsibilities of a committed relationship but he want to know that if and when he is ready she will still be there waiting for him. I say make him sweat you for awhile. Once he says your not on steady stand by he will have a real decision to make not the fake break up. Fake meaning I still have you but I can do what I want too.

Tell him she is uncomfortable with the sex and kissing part since they are not really together and she thinks it may be holding her back from being able to find a new relationship and she thinks maybe it is time to start moving on. Don't be comfrontational but be firm about your rights.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

She needs to ask him what is the status between the two of them. Cause if they are acting as a couple they might as well be one, and if he just wants to be friends with benefits, there will be some problems and mixed emotions. Tell her that she needs to let him go and find another mate, or they could work things out and get back together.

Answer 4

Doesnt she see that he has another girl on the side. I remember the guy I dated for two years did that to me too. He told me he needed some space, he never admitted to seeing one of his co-workers, who by the way, was so inlove with him. We were living together for only 4 months, when we broke up, or he broke up with me. He still would come over to my home and spend the night, he'd act like we were still together, he would still try and control where I went. When i went to my friends house all night, he'd make sure I'd go home, becaus he was afraid that I was seeing someone new. would then not call or come over for two or three days at a time. I started getting suspicious and asked him if he was seeing someone else. Well, of course he denied it. Then one day, he came over with ONE hicky on his neck that he didnt know he had. I asked him about it, and he told me one of his friends pinched him. I wanted to believe him, and stopped grilling him about it. But after wards, I would think about it, and felt he was lying. two weeks later, I saw my girlfriends at the mall. One asked me if he and I were still together, and I said no, and she said, "oh, thats why I saw him at the party all over this girl." Well her boyfriend worked with my ex, and her bf told her that my ex was was dating a girl that worked with them for two months already. I told her that we were only broken up for three weeks or So. Well thats how I found out. It happened to me , and to one of my best friends too

. Even though he does love her, he likes another girl. He is just keeping her intouch because well...benifits. Theyve been together too long for him to just stop loving her, but he still likes another girl. Why dont you two do a little investigation. YOu will see. I hope your friends sees through him. We are all blinded by love sometimes, and need a kick in the head.

Answer 5

This is simple, she must break him and stop having impress each other atleast for a while. Most importantly she should find a replacement guy soon. Her X shouldn't behave like a dog in the manger he should give her enjoy the life. Living for 3 months without sex is not easy for a girl used to it. Ask your friend to find a guy soon

Answer 6

My friend (and I) had a simliar situation. Her boyfriend broke up with her but kept coming back to make out now and again. After he'd leave, she'd always be confused again about what it was he wanted. Sure enough he didn't want to get back together again. I didn't realize that all this was going on when I first met him and developed a "crush" on him. One night while we were studying together, he started kissing me, which was fine by me because I was into him. He stopped himself and told me he wasn't really interested in me. What's up with that?!!! Two days later he was "going" with another girl. Whatever. Right after he and his new girlfriend broke up, he showed up at my house "to talk." He tried to kiss me again, and I stopped him this time. I asked him if his feelings for me had changed--if he wanted us to start seeing each other. He said "no." When I asked him why he was trying to kiss me then, he said, "Because I thought you would let me." What?!!! Later my friend explained how he had been showing up at her house (to make out) every few weeks for the previous 2 years! She kept letting him come and kept making out with him because she was so into him and kept hoping that this time would be the time they would get back together.

If this guy doesn't want to be committed to your friend, he really doesn't care about her. She needs to be the one that defines the boundaries of their "relationship" and stop letting him jerk her around.

Answer 7

It sounds to me that your friend wants to get serious and her boyfriend doesnt for whatever reason. He really doesnt want to lose her but definitely doesnt want to get serious, so hes playing little kids games. It is time for her to have a heart to heart talk with him, spelling out what she wants and expects and he should say what he wants and expects. If theyre worlds apart the time has come for your friend to move on and find a new man that respects her and her dreams and desires and isnt afraid to get seriously involved

Answer 8

The guy has been taking advantage of ur friend.He still have sex with her and they do all sort of things which the guy definately enjoys more than ur friend.
Tell ur friend to stand up to him and make the rules.If he doesn't wanna go out with ur friend, than there is no reason why they shld still have sex.

Answer 9

I would not let relation continue for 4 years without getting commitment from my partner. And to continue this relation when i was told that he does not want her is just plain stupid, or just convenient but leads nowhere.

Answer 10

She has to move on if she doesn't wanna get hurt again, date other guys and when he calls to see if they can meet she has to give him excuses not to or tell him that she can't do that anymore.