Serious Question!?

Question

I am 19 years old. I found out i was pregnant a month or two ago and i've been trying to be cool about. I tried talking about it with others but it's more to it. I didn't get pregnant because i want to, someone forced themselves on me. I don't really want to have an abortion, but right now I don't know what to do. I'm really stressed. I have no one to turn to, i can't sleep or eat, i feel horrible, and my stomach hurts really really bad all the time. i don't want to have the baby but i don't want to keep it. if i haven't miscarried, what will i tell the poor child when he/she asks about the father? he's a rapist and i don't ever want you near him. what should i do?

Answer 1

have the baby. You'll find a great guy to be his dad one day. Plus ask God for help. Don't abort

Answer 2

If you don't want to have it but you don't want to keep it, have you considered adoption? It's really about what is best for you and the baby. If you are not going to give the child up for adoption, think about what kind of life are you able to give the child. If you choose abortion, research your doctor first.
I've been in your shoes before but I can't tell you what is right for you. All I can say is "I made the best choice for the child." Write out your personal pros and cons for each of your options: keeping it, putting it up for adoption, abortion. Once it's on paper, the decision won't seem as difficult. But make the decision soon, the stress is not good for the baby or you.

Answer 3

There are soooo many people out there who would love to adopt a little baby. There are many programs you can work with where someone takes the baby as soon as it is born. That way, you don't have to take the baby home, and you will be making some family that possibly can't conceive very happy.
You can talk to like a school counselor, or even a program like WIC or Planned Parenthood, or something like that.
Look into it, cus you are only 19, so if you were to abort teh baby its possible that in a few years you will feel extremely guilty, and that's something that is very hard to get over.
Good luck hun =)

Answer 4

Honey, this is really, really sad. I wish you had someone close to talk to about this. There is adoption. This is a very respectable option. I would consider it as well if I was your age and in your situation. You can pick the parents, they will pay for your medical bills, and you can even get open adoptions where you can visit your child and write letters and stuff. You really don't sound like you want to consider abortion, and that is great. This is still your baby and a perfect human life. Even though some stupid asshole forced you into it. Have you considered finding a church or calling a hot line. They have places to turn to and people to talk to about your options. I really truly with you luck and if you need to talk please e-mail me anytime.

[e-mail]

Answer 5

Have you considered caring the baby full term for adoption possibly? There are so many people who would love to have a child and it doesn't sound to me like you're a young woman who believes abortion is an only option. Just something to consider but keep in mind if you do this and you're sure you aren't ready for or want a child of your own then be sure you're in a supportive situation where you aren't letting yourself get too attached. If you make the decision to do something like this then you have to assure yourself that despite not remaining the custodial parent you are bringing life and happiness to others in the end.

Answer 6

Just having a baby 4 weeks ago, I could never imagine getting an abortion. I understand you got raped, that's very sad to hear. There are soo many people out there that can't have children and want to adopt. I would consider having the baby and putting he/she up for adoption. As far as your stomach hurting, it'll go away. You should eat toast or saltine crackers, because you can not only harm the baby, you can harm yourself. There are many support groups for girls who have been raped, I would try looking up one of those, it might help to talk to others in your situation. Take care.

Answer 7

keep the kid it is still a part of you. convict the father he is a rapeist. contact compensation for victims of crime and they will pay child support to you for the dead beat father for life and any medical bills that you have including therapy and hospital pertaining to this incident. children are conceived for a reason even when the woman is raped. and yes when your child is old enough tell them the truth and that you decided to stay pregnant because the child is a part of you. I know it is tough but getting over an abortion is tougher ask any woman who has had one. the option adoption is available because parents that cant conceive dont care how a child was conceived they just want to love a child. it is not your fault or your unborn childs fault so why punish yourself and the child punish the man who should be punished. put him behind bars. Children are always blessings, even if you cant see it all the time.

Answer 8

well im sorry this happened to you, but if u have any family at all you need to contact them imdediatly and tell them what has happened there is nothing to feel ashamed about because this was not your fault, im not going to tell u to abort or keep because that is a decision u yourself have to make. second u need to contact the authorities because what happened to you will most likely happen to other girls by the same guy if someone does not go forward, so i really really do hope you do the right thing and talk to someone who can do something about this guy. third if you are feeling the way u are this early there might be something wrong so i suggest going to your doctor if you do not have one type in planned parenthood in the search engine and they will give u locations to free clinics that can help you. don't stress just stay calm talk to someone in authority and realize that this is not your fault. i really do wish you good luck :)

Answer 9

My dear, I sympathize with you.. I found out I was pregnant at 19 and had my first child at 20.. he is now almost 14 years old.. I look back at all of my emotions... fear, anticipation.... not knowing what was right to do for my child.. My childs father was violent.., we were just dating, and finding out I was pregnant was not something that I felt was in the cards for me.. I decided, against my mother's best thoughts, to have the baby, and to provide for him the best I possibly could.. I left his father, shortly after his birth and struggled.. I eventually met a wonderful man when I was 22 and Tyler was nearly 2 years old.. This man was a dream, he accepted me and my son.. He has been a wonderful father to my son. I have since had 2 more children before I had my tubes tied and they are now 6 and 5 years old.. I felt during my first pregnancy that I was robbed.. Robbed of the love and true loving anticipation of the birth of my child. I was in fear.. I feel for you. After finally marrying and having other children I realize that Tyler is a gift, regardless of how he was conceived.. I guarantee you will find happiness and love. Your unborn child only needs to understand the love you have for him/her. If you decide that this is too much to bear, I feel absolutely, that you should consider putting up this child for adoption.. there are many parents out there who crave and pray everyday for a child.. I support you in any decision you make.. My decision was right for me and your decision will be right for you.. Love yourself.. You are not a horrible person for your decisions and I wish you the best in everything you do. I will pray for you that the decision you make will be an easy one and best for you and your baby.
Sincerely, Doreen e-mail me anytime.... [e-mail].

Answer 10

One word: Adoption. There are a million people out there that would sell their souls for a baby - and they can decide to tell the kid if it was a product of rape, or not. Don't want the baby? Think about this as a serious alternative.

Answer 11

honey u dont have to have an abortion if you dont want to keep it you can have it adopted out when its born and there are loving couple that cant have babies that would love to raise it for you, and u can still be in its life also, theres other things to do becsides abortion just try to hang in there, go to churches and see if they can help u out to get food, it really helps to talk to someone who cares expecially in ur situation, u arent alone, alot of people are there to help , but u have to look and good luck