I am just taking a pole! My sister is telling me that I cant re-marry because I have 6 children and I am in a very miserable marriage! I am married to a cop who continually cheats, lies, and verbally is abussive, but to all his cop friends, " HE IS THE BOMB!" His cop friend the other day I head him state, " Wow, you have this gorgeous wife... and you get away with this and that... bla bla bla!" I was so hurt. Now, my own family is telling me to stay in it for the kids. I am getting more and more depressed.
2006-07-13 11:57:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anna Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if your not happy get out. doesn't matter how many kids you have. it seems your worried about being alone. being depressed isn't good. good luck. no one deserves to be treated like that!
2006-07-13 12:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by toonotshy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK--first, you need to get out of that abusive relationship right away. No one deserves to be treated that way. Secondly, by staying with the guy, you are hurting your own children because it hurts kids to see their mom go through stuff like that. Third, when the kids grow up, there is a big chance they will repeat the learned behavoir demonstrated by your husband and you don't make it any better by staying with him.
Also, your well-being should not rely on the possibility of you hooking up with another guy. It is YOUR happiness. Why should you need a man to define you?
There are plenty of men out there who would love to be with a woman who has kids. But be sure to choose the right kind of man for your kids. Odds are, you're gonna have to be pickier than the guy! But really--get out of that abusive relationship right away, before it does any more damage to you or your kids.
I know that cop marriages can be hard to get of, but if the right kind of people are around you to support you, you'll be able to make the right decision for you and your six babies.
2006-07-13 12:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by annabanana4883 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look at the census you will find that many women with 6 or more children married often. I would suggest that you wait until your kids are all grown. This is very stressful for them and you don't want damaged kids. Invest in your kids future and once out then you can work on your love life. This guy is dangerous so I would opt out asap. You also need counseling.
Hugs!
Big Stick
2006-07-13 12:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're miserable, maybe you should leave. Staying in an unhappy marriage is worse for the kids than breaking up the family. However, I wouldn't date a single mother with one kid...mostly because I am still young and not ready to deal with that reality. A lot of guys automatically rule out dating a single woman with kids simply because they don't want to be involved in those kids' lives even the slightest. So, yeah, it's hard for single mothers to date. But, there are guys out there who are ready for that situation, you'll just have to keep your chin up.
2006-07-13 12:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by The Doctor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stay in it just because of the kids, that will not solve the problems, and I wouldn't stay in it, just because your afraid you'll not get anyone else either. You have to make a decision based on what is right for you, and your children....and probably will need to work on YOU, and your self esteem from this situation as well. Once all that is in line, everything else will fall into place, and you'll be more likely to move on and find true happiness.
2006-07-13 12:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be concentrating on a man... Girl... spend that energy on your children. Show them the love and dedication that they need. (I am NOT saying that you don't now) just saying that spend less energy on a man and all of it on your children. You have your whole life to look for a man and find your happiness. As for your current marriage... I say GET OUT ! Your children are being affected by the abuse and hurt as well.
2006-07-13 12:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Lil Mo' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get out of there! I think most men expect women to have children already these days. It's not an issue at all. Just get out of there, get everything straight and things will be fine with finding a man.
2006-07-13 12:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by uke9999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend that has 2 brothers and 3 sisters. his parents divorced when he was about 6. a few years later she met a great guy, and they are still together. from what i have heard, they have never had an arguement, get along great, and have never been so happy. it has been over 15 years together for them. never give up hope. leave, you deserve better. you are still breathing. as long as you are still breathing you are alive. as long as you are alive, you deserve to be happy. if he cheats and puts you down, he doesn't even deserve to lick dog poo off of your shoe. good luck with everything.
2006-07-13 12:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by Alone in a crowd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My step dad married my momand she had 6 now they have 11. He is actually the best dad in the world to us. The grand kids all call him grandad and our bio dad has no part of us. I would say the best thing my mom ever did for us was dump my cheating, abusive sperm donor and get with my "dad".
2006-07-13 12:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the one married to the man?...YOU
Who is the one with the 6 children?...YOU
Who is the one that has to make this decision?...YOU
Who is the one who deserves to be happy?...YOU
It is none of your family's business. You are the one who has to make the decision for yourself. Do you want your children to grow up thinking that the way their father treats their mother is right? Or would you rather them look to you in a good way because you had the courage to yourself and them out of a harmful situation?
2006-07-13 12:03:14 · answer #10 · answered by Caitlyn's Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anna, Believe it or not, there are men out there who are not only looking for a loving spouse but for a family as well.
Match .com or e-harmony can find you a someone who may be delighted to have a family to call their own.
Worth a try--the creep you have is not worth your tears.
Do not give up your power--he does not own you.
Remember that.
2006-07-13 12:02:12 · answer #11 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋