My wife and I have been married for almost 12 years now, and she recently had her 4th affair....I will pause at this point for the deluge of,"and you haven't left yet?" to rain down....Anyway, she still talks about this guy, even so much as saying that she would like to sleep with him at least one more time. She is even trying to bring other people(men and women) into our bedroom with us. She has said as recently as a few weeks ago that she didn't want to be tied down, and would leave if I paid her truck off. Next morning, she didn't remember the conversation(we had been drinking). Now she says she loves me and wants to be with me, but how long until her next affair? Or is she staying because I am her safety net? A little more info-not only do I work all day, but come home, clean the house, do laundry, cook dinner, do dishes, take care of the yardwork, take care of the kids, all because she doesn't have time due to her ONE college class a semester....Anyway, should I go or stay????
2006-07-13 11:56:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
On your behalf, I could already wring her neck--if my fella did one iota of what you do to contribute (and support!!) the household, I'd be anything he wanted me to be for him! ESPECIALLY FAITHFUL!!!
What a delightful GIVER you are! How Rare!!!
The college thing sounds like an excuse to get away and into a new environment to find fresh flesh!!!
With the sexually transmitted diseases that are out there, and not being able to trust her to NOT bring one home, then it would be in common sense self defense to get out of this toxic relationship!
Pay off her truck, Keep the kids, and let her GO!!!
OR...re-negotiate the terms of your relationship in writing, and if she cheats again, then that becomes a DEAL BREAKER, and she leaves without a dime, a kid, or a car!!!!
Sorry to be so tough, but sometimes I can't stand women!!!!
2006-07-13 12:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Threesomes are all ways fun and exciting but that is what you do when you are out at a bar and up just picking up someone and there friend
But when it is you wife and you are in love there is No sharing I don’t believe in cheating when you are married my ex was an alcoholic and had an affair that is was really sorry for and I do believe that she was really sorry but I could never get over it I tried for 4 years that I just could not even touch her after it kept eating at me
If you stay. How will you feel about your self? That is what you have to ask you’re self
Can you live with your wife having other people in her bed or your bed? That would just drive me crazy think some man is in MY BED!
So how will you feel?
DUFF
2006-07-13 13:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by DUFF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make this choice. If it was me? I would leave. You owe her nothing. Don't pay for her truck, she had the repeated affairs, not you. Why repay her for ruining your marriage and breaking your heart and your family? I pray that your children have not suffered because of her. You must really love her, if you have stuck by her for four affairs (that you know of). In my opinion, she does not deserve you. And remember, just because everything is different, doesn't mean anything has changed. I wish you all the best. But please, don't let her hurt you or your children any longer.
2006-07-13 12:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by salem21kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so if you are working, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids and all by yourself, then what is she there for? Yes it will be hard on the kids at first if you get divorced, but as they get older they will understand why, and you should actually leave FOR your kids, if you have daughters do you want them to grow up thinking its ok to treat their spouse that way? and if you have boys do you want them to grow up thinking its NORMAL to be treated that way? Put your foot down and stop being a doormat!!! However in this situation I firmly believe that you shouldnt leave, You should make HER leave, as you are the one providing for the family, she is having her satisfactions tended to elsewhere, she could go stay with one of her man whores right?
2006-07-13 12:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW that sounds like my life 12 years ago. You are being used for every sense of the word. I would also bet that your sex life with her is not at the level you would like it to be. After 14 affairs and two kids my ex left on Friday afternoon and called me on Saturday night to tell me that she met mr.wright. It took me a long time to get over it and realize I didn't need her. After she left she would say things like I need to get out and meet someone new. So when I did 18 months later she freeked out. tried to sabotage my new relationship. All the advice I could give you is she is not going to change so you will either deal with it for who knows how long or leave yourself.
2006-07-13 12:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by offroad_gearhead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
navylifer, im going to quote dr.laura slezinger " where is you back bone" this sounds like you are the mother to these children and the father. it sounds as if she is your safety net as well. becuase a real man would say enough is enough. now you decide are you a real man? is this the role model you wanted for your children ? is this the life you imagined? i never suggest divorce to anyone when there is children but somtimes what is best for the children is to cut the cancerist item from their imprestionable young mind. navylifer you have your hands full for sure and you have got to be going crazy. although she is the one who really need counseling for her major issues you should go see one on base just to help with the depresion and the exhuastion they would also be able to help with the right attorney and child assistance since im assuming youll want your children free of this lifestyle.... i wish you all the best in your resolve.... your children really need you.
2006-07-13 12:16:44 · answer #6 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, really I do. She is playing you big time. Don't let her do this too you anymore. File for divorce and get custody of your children. Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. She must know she is tearing your heart out talking about other guys and sleeping with them. She needs some professional help, big time! Your a wonderful husband to put up with such nonsense. Don't let her strip away your pride. She has taken advantage long enough. Good luck to you sir.
2006-07-13 12:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end it is what you believe she will do, from looking at the situation as an outsider it seems as if she is there just to know that her ans the kids are taken care of, i honestly believe taht people can make mistakes and they can also change, but in the end you hav eto look at the situation and decide whether it is healthy for you and teh children to be there
2006-07-13 12:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by Autumn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to go into the bathroom and take off your clothes and look in the mirror. anywhere on your body do you see the word "Welcome" If you do not there is no reason for you to remain her doormat. GO get a life. First get evidence of her cheating and have a STD test done on yourself. Hey you might be dieing already
2006-07-13 12:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by Augie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to that question, or you wouldn't have ask. YES, you should leave. Move on and get a life that you can be happy with. You owe her nothing. You do everything so why do you need her?? I wish you luck.
2006-07-13 12:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋