What's the best way and age to come out?

Question

ugh. i have to come out eventually. I want kids and such. So what age should I come out, and how is the best way to? I have pretty homophobic parents, so how do I go about making them more accepting?

If I don't come out, how would i hide it for the rest of my life without them wondering?

Answer 1

Honey, first of all you need to know that you're not going to be able to "make" your parents more accepting of your lifestyle...they either will or they won't. I would suggest just letting them know that you need to talk with them and make sure that it is at a time where no one or nothing else will distract you or them during your talk...that way you create a peaceful, neutral environment that will encourage them to ask questions rather than yell or insult you.

Also, don't underestimate your parents. Even if they are homophobic, either one or both of them may have already had their suspicions about your sexuality...they may just be too afraid to ask you or too afraid to validate their own concerns.

I can tell you that when my very best friend came out to me...she simply invited me over and explained that she had something to tell me that she hoped wouldn't change our relationship and then she proceeded to tell me....lol...of course, I already had my suspicions and I just told her it was about time she told me. Hopefully your situation will just as easy as hers was....good luck to you!!

P.S. If you get a negative reaction, do not let that hold you back. Be who you are, no matter what. If they want to have a relationship, make them accept you on YOUR terms!

By the way...if this is the worst advice you got...don't hold it against me....I'm straight and couldn't possibly imagine having to go through what you're about to....again, good luck!!

Answer 2

Age: It varies. But I'd wait unti l you are either certain that your parents can handle it, or until you can handle living without their support. I've heard some stories of a kid getting tossed out of the house for coming out, and having no place to stay.

Way: I think a little at a time. Start with a close friend or a sibling or somebody that you know could never reject you. It helps enormously to have an ally as you move towards the harder sells.

Answer 3

I was 21 when I came out. A year later my parents still seem to think its a phase, and I dont have any friends that I had before coming out. Some people can keep their friends, but all of mine either just quit talking to me or their view of me changed so much that I dont enjoy their company any more. Just make sure they know that you are still the same person you have been, just now they know a little more. No need to view you as a different person.

Answer 4

My suggestion is to tell some close friends first, that you know will stick by you no matter what. You don;t have to come out totally at once, you can do a few people at a time. Build up a network of close friends who are there to support you if coming out to family is really bad and you need support. Tell people over dinner or other events in person

Answer 5

Being afraid to come out is perfectly normal. No one likes to risk being rejected at their personal core.

The reality is that you have to live your life for YOU and not your parents. If you are living with a partner and kids, they will eventually wonder.

Different people have different ways of coming out. Some prefer to write a letter, some prefer to just say it over dinner and some will leave a book about gay kids for their parents to read.

The key is to accept that your parents are individuals too and have a right to their ideas even if they conflict with yours.

Before you come out, are you financially independent of them? That is important. If not, it is best to wait.

I would suggest getting in contact with your local PFLAG so that you can talk to parents whose kids have come out. This can also provide you a resource for you and your parents. It may help them to have people in their own age group to talk to.

In any case Godspeed to you.

Answer 6

the best way to come out is to tell the your parents First.
get the most complicated talk out of the way. it's all down hill from there.
that, and what's the worst that could happen, they ground you for being gay?
be proud of who and what you are for yourself. not you sexual preferance. let your parents know that what you do behind closed doors is you business and it doesn't involve them.
if they give the whole 'where did we go wrong' cry, tell them honestly it has nothing to do with them or anything they did.
it's a personal choice. there are going to be a lot of different opinions out there, but the only one that matters is your own.
personally, i'm bi sexual. my mother wasn't exactly happy with me for a while, but it was because of my girlfriend, not the fact that i had one. i hope your parents are wonderful people and can accept your choices in this matter, speaking as a parent myself.

Answer 7

The "how do I come out" question has been asked a lot. You can look up this question and find more answers if you seach "coming out" in YahooAnswers.

There are many good web-sites that give information about how you could come out to family and friends. They also have stories of people that have come out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. I'll link a few good ones. Don't hide forever, be proud of who you are. That way you can be happy and live life.

Coming Out as Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual:
http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Coming_Out3/Index.htm

Youth Resource:
http://www.youthresource.com/

PFLAG:
http://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html

Outpath (stories about coming out and reactions):
http://www.outproud.org/

Answer 8

i suggest that you tell your parents when you are moved out and financially secure. as for age, it doesn't matter. just don't hold on too long. it becomes a weight on your chest (if it hasn't already) and makes you feel like sh*t in a handbag. but don't go flaunting it around. just tell people you care about. especially your soulmate. they'll want to know to so you be all soulmatey-like.

Answer 9

First of all, I found an interesting site on PFLAG (Parents and friends of lesbians and gays). It offers many resources, including coming out. Site is listed below. Please take a look, and see if there's a group meeting near you. I know I went in college when I found many of my friends were gay and lesbian.

Answer 10

just stay straight,
why do you want to mocked and ridiculed for your life being called a "queer", or a "*******".....
I'm not sayin this to be mean, but for the sake of your life,....

also, didn't you just come out of the closet right now on th Internet????