My wife wants a baby, I agreed to start trying in 10 months, she talks about it everyday, its annoying?

Question

My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 1.5 years of that time.

She finally said she didn't want to wait any longer to have a baby (she is 23 and I am 25) and that I needed to set a date to start trying.

I told her we would start next May when we pay off the house so I will have $2300 extra every month for a baby. And she agreed to that and has been really happy that we will start soon.

Everyday she talks about how she is excited that in 10 months we are going to try for a baby. She likes to see the baby clothes and talks to me about it and sometimes cries because she says it hurts that she doesn't have a baby yet and time is going by slow.

I keep telling her 10 months will go by fast, but she seems to really be upset about this.

How do I deal with this?

Answer 1

There is no "perfect" time financially to have a baby. When the house is paid off, something else will come up and so on and so on. I say go ahead and start trying. That would please her and you may not concieve right off the bat. It takes most couples at least 6 months of trying. Good luck. I say go ahead......don't let money stand in the way.

Answer 2

She's 23? And 10 months is too long to wait?

The practical thing to do is to wait till the house is paid off like you both agreed to.

Who's talking in her ear about having a baby? Are all her girlfriends pregnant too or have kids?

She should realize that at 23, 10 months is a reasonable amount of time to make sure everything is in order. Tell her to pass the time by going to the gym to work out so that her body snaps back into shape after she gives birth. It will help her to lose the baby weight faster.

Having a child is a life changing event, nothing will be the same after she has the baby. Time will be different and life will also. It will all center around the child until its old enough to feed itself and walk, and go to college.

If I was her I'd wait until I was 25.

Answer 3

First clarify this to me: you will be able to spare US$2,300 every month for a baby? Gosh, that's pretty too much in my opinion. Oh maybe the reason for me to think so is that I live in a different country, where life is usually much cheaper than in America. I would be almost a millionaire if I were able to spare that sum every month.

I agree that both of you are perhaps too young to have a child. A child will change your life so completely that you will not recognize it later. If I were in your shoes, I would try to persuade her to wait a few more years. Say five years, and she will be 28. That is a much better age to become a parent.

What I glean from your post is that you are somewhat insecure and that she is bored. She must know that a baby is not only pleasure and happiness, but also a lot of work and worry. I think that both of you would do much better to spend time together so you can get to know each other even better and make your different opinions and points of view square with one another. This will enable you to give your child a better and more consistent education. The less conflicts and discrepancies between her parents, the better outcome for the child.

I am all for preparing and planning as accurately as possible the coming of your child (conception, pregnancy, birth, first moments of life). Use these ten months or, better still, a longer period to change your diet to a healthier one, so that the baby will be born in good health; to establish a birthing plan, finding a midwife or a humane doctor (deliverance is a critical moment for a woman especially the first time); to design a healthy house or place for your child, etc... The longer you prepare, the better - in my opinion. Show this to your wife.

Make her realize that it is a stroke of luck that you both still have plenty of time ahead of you to have a child. We say: haste makes waste.

Try to help her discover a meaning for her life other than having a child now.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like she thinks you are going to back out. Is your word good?

Just tell her that there are some things that is more important than you and her… the baby. You want to have all that is right for the baby but that nothing is going to come in the way of starting in 10 months.

Get use to the baby clothes stuff. Take a look at any 4 year old girl, but this time pay attention to them. She’s been planning this for 19 years. What have you been planning for 19 years that you don’t have yet?

If you say “paying off your house” then I think my first sentence might be right.

Answer 5

please be patient with her. I understand your side of the story,especially since the two of you are quite young. For many women and some men,too, nothing in the world is more exciting than the thought of having a baby with someone you love. Tell her gently how you feel and tell her that you would be so happy if the two of you don't talk about having a baby until you are actually "working on it " in May. Also, you might gently remind her that for many people,it doesn't happen right away so she probably shouldn't be announcing it to everyone until she is actually pregnant. Tell her that she would make you very happy if she would enjoy each day with you until the blessed event actually takes place.Tell her that as much as you will someday be delighted to have her baby, for now you are really happy to have this special time with just the two of you. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Woman really gets sentimental about babies, after all is within their nature to deliver and reproduce.

I believe the first step is for you to understand how this affects her, and try to be more of a partner, also you can talk to her, about this issue, demonstrate that you can be excited too, but at this moment you have other issues that you are facing, and unfortunately you are not as excited as her, even though you want the baby too.

Anyway, if you give her some incentive to start working, maybe she will occupy her mind with some other things. (I don't even know if she is a housewife, but I guessed).

If you decide to have the conversation I would recommend to you to get a baby's toy or gift for her, so she will understand better your feelings.

Answer 7

You could start by talking this over with your wife and telling her how you feel about it and seeing what she says. If you guys agreed on a set time its not good for her to be obsessed about it, or try to pressure you into having a baby.

Answer 8

You could start trying in like a month or so so by the time that u do get the house paid off then the baby might be born or still have a few months before it comes.So she might be happy and u might be happier too. and talk to her about it too.

Answer 9

Stop putting it off. Start trying now or how about waiting 10 months before you have sex again , just remind yourself that 10 months will go by fast.

Answer 10

tell her to wait. and let her know that all this baby talk might change your mind. that extra money could go to a new car, or to your hobby. Girls get excited, but let her know. And if you aren't ready, don't feel forced. you will resent her. I wanted a baby. I'm 28. after figuring out my husband didn't want one all along, and lied about it...I'm getting my tubes tied.