Can people change their personality in a substantial way after they're about 30?

Question

I have friends who made bad decisions in their early twenties but seemed to turn things around by their late twenties. But what about people in their late thirties who still have seriously bad habits/personality flaws? Any therapists or counselors out there with a perspective?

Answer 1

Every moment is a moment for change!

The brain is wired to form beliefs, ideas, stories and reactions. Basically, your whole life you are conditioning yourself to behave one way or another, and your brain sets itself up accordingly. As you change, your brain paths also change. This is a lovely piece of neuro info, because it means that we CAN rearrange most of our neuropathways any time in our life with a little work.

I believe that anyone can change whenever they want to- it takes hardwork, dedication and practice. But there is nothing physically holding us back from it! It's never too late to rethink your life and the direction that it's going in; do a little introspection, figure out what bad habits or personality flaws you want to change, and work to become aware of them as they happen. As you increase your awareness, you will be able to stop them.
Change is the only consistant aspect of life, so don't fear it!

Answer 2

I personally believe that people do change their personalities after they're 30, whether they want to or not. Perhaps the fundamentals remain similar, but people are constantly changing with every experience they encounter. It seems to me that who we are is greatly influenced by our contacts (friends, work associates, bosses, etc.) If one is continually surrounded by negative personality types, it makes it likely that the outlook will be more pessimistic. If the same person is around people who are 'go getters' there's a greater chance that the person's behavior will become the same. I suppose it could be a form of peer pressure. If a person recognizes a personality flaw that they'd like to correct, I also believe that it can be done. The person would probably need to make a great effort to recognize the behavior and understand why it's happening in order for it to be a successful change. I'm not a psychologist or counselor, so I apologize for answering, but it looks like the trend here is for anyone to respond. I just thought I'd throw my two cents in here :) I also hope the person in the late thirties can meet your expectations!

Answer 3

There is a difference between changing one's personality and changing one's behaviours. For example, I can be the same old witch I always was, but still stop smoking, stop driving fast and stop overeating at any age ... but I will still hold the same attitudes, fears and dislikes.

To change a personality trait takes a different approach. If you are a chronic depressive, for example, somebody who always assumes the world is going to end and that an asteroid is about to hit the earth and you don't care anymore, etc. then the approach to this would be cognitive therapy, to help you change your belief patterns that may be creating some important barriers to improving your situation.

Answer 4

I think a basic change is unlikely. I do acknowledge one caveat. Intense trauma. A trauma of such magnitude as to cause a person to undergo a complete self evaluation and subsequent adjustment. These are few and far apart but they do happen. The sole survivor of a plane crash or someone convinced by a near-death experience.

I can't speak to the truth of the following but I understand it to be true. When the "Last Supper" was painted it took many many months. The first individual painted was Judas. The last was Christ. I understand the man who posed for Judas underwent such a drastic transformation because of his being selected for Judas that he was later used as the model for Christ. As I said, I can't speak for the accuracy but if nothing else it makes a good story.

Answer 5

I'm not a professional counselor, but I can tell you that ANYONE can change if they choose to, that's if they aren't mentally ill. I am 41 and at about the age of 39 I started to change. I was totally shy, quiet, didn't speak up/out about anything to anyone, wasn't outgoing in any way, wouldn't joke around with anyone, was in an abusive relationship that I had been in since I was 20 years old and wasn't sure I could get out of it. But, then I finally decided that I HAD to change myself if I wanted out of this horrible situation. So, I became outgoing, spoke up to everyone about everything, was no longer shy and quiet (except in certain situations, such as when near my ex husband), started being much more positive and outgoing and joked around with people. I totally surprised people with the change. It gave me the courage to leave my abusive situation for good (I had tried twice before, but didn't believe in myself, etc, so I went back)., I finaloly left for good and haven't looked back even once. I now have an awesome life with my soul mate and we plan to get married someday.

Answer 6

I'm not a professional counselor, but I believe that it's very difficult for us to change our personalities, without a certain persistence in some practice, be it Karate or Transcendental meditation or cooking. It's all about discipline, every day. Just my two cents!

Answer 7

Yes it is very easy to change a person after 30. It takes a large Iron skillet and fast get away car.

Answer 8

it's very hard to chang a personality, but they can be taught to alter their behavior.

Answer 9

People can always change!

Answer 10

sure ..

if they really want to change