Help me!! trouble with my best friend.... DESPERATE! Please read! i know its alot?

Question

I've had this best friend for about 6 yrs and we are just about to enter high school The thing is we only went to school together in 2nd grade and then i moved.
so we both made new friends.. but i never replaced her.. i kinda feel like she replaced me though
her parents recently got divorced and her father is very mean to her.. i understand what she is going through... but the way she treats me because of it makes me even more miserable than her....
i'm not trying to sound selfish AT ALL... i love my best friend to death, and i try to talk to her.... but she doesnt want to... you can see it in the way she treats her mom too....
she's ok with new people she meets because i guess she wants them to like her... but she knows she can treat me like dirt and i will forgive her or just brush it off
she even avoids coming over my house she lied and told me she had a doctors appointment and then her mom told me it was the day after I invited her over.
please dont tell me to abandon her

Answer 1

I'd write her a long heartfelt letter about how you truly feel. I find that things work out better on paper. If you can, send a little something to remind her what great friends you used to be like an old picture, a representation of an inside joke or maybe something she really likes. If all goes well, she'll realize her mistake and try harder to be a better friend. If not, maybe you'll need to consider your friendship over and move on. I know it's hard, but we all have to go our separate ways eventually. Good luck!

Answer 2

Your friend has a lot of issues that she needs to work out. You can't make her work them out. You can also try to be there for her but she is making it pretty clear that she doesn't want you there.

Your big problem is that you let her treat you like dirt. Best friend or not or whatever issues she is having it is NOT OK to treat someone like that. You are sending her a message that it is ok to treat you like that because you'll let it go. She is hurting you. Is this friendship really worth the pain she's putting you through?

I am not telling you to abandon her. I'd let her know you will be here when she is ready to talk. Than you need to give her and yourself some space. She doesn't want help you can't force it on her. She is only going to work on her issues when she is ready.

You are a human being with feelings. There are other people out there that will treat you with respect and dignity. I suggest finding these people. You don't have to completely write her off but you got to stop letting her treat you like crap. Friendship should not make you feel miserable.

Friends come and go that is the nature of life. People grow and change and are no longer compatiable. It is hard to let go of a friend you have had for so long. I had a friend from 3rd grade. I moved and eventually after me moving again we went to high school together. We were still friends but no to the same degree. We both changed. She is still my friend but we are no longer best friends. I don't mourn the loss of the best friendship. I cherish the memories I have.

Answer 3

A friend is forever,
At least that's what they say.
That you'll always be close,
Even after you move away.

That when you find a friend,
One you can call your best,
You think the world of them,
They're better than all the rest.

You stand up for eachother,
And giggle on the phone.
And before you know it,
It's like you're living in their home.

But what happens when,
A friendship dies.
When something goes wrong,
It becomes full of secrets and lies.

No one knows what to say,
And any speech becomes awkward and scary,
And all you want to do is back to the days,
When you were both joyful and merry.

You go back down that ladder,
A even help eachother along.
But when you try the next,
You end up singing the same sad song.

So now the glues stopped sticking,
And finally peeled off.
And even though you don't want them to,
All traces of your friendship float aloft.

Now you finally admit,
That friendship is over and done.
It rose with the dawn,
And fell with the setting sun.

It's gone but not forgotten,
As your paths head to different shores.
So is it true what they say?
Will you stll be friends forever more.


Move forward and keep your new friends, if she is YOUR true friend, she will contact you.

Answer 4

If you care about her enough then you may just need to stick by her at this time. Thinking back on my childhood I was mean to the people that I felt most comfortable with and who I knew wouldn't go away if I was mean. Maybe you should tell her that what she's doing is hurting your feelings and hopefully that will make her snap out of it. If it doesn't, then it may be time to take a break from her or move on. People change and not all friendships can last from 2nd grade on.

I'm sorry, I wish I had a more uplifting answer for you.

Answer 5

Sorry, but in life, sometimes people drift apart. That's just the way it is. Between moving and not having spent much time together since 2nd grade, you guys have grown your separate ways. You're a nice person to try to be there for her, but if she doesn't want your help or to talk to you, there is really nothing you can do but hope that she comes around. In the meantime, focus on your other friends. I hope she realizes what a good true friend she has before it's too late. Good luck.

Answer 6

Your friend sounds selfish. DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER!!!! I have been through plenty of retarded friend relationships. If she treats you like that, give her a taste of her own medicine. You NEED to do this, she will be a controlling little b**** if you dont tell her off. She will make your life a living hell because she thinks she owns you! I am sorry, you need to abandon her. If she is like that, she isn't even worth it. There are a lot of decent people out there and you deserve better. If you decide to be her friend still, I guess you are a spineless follower. YOU be the leader.

Good Luck

Answer 7

A best friend is someone who thinks you are as fun, terrific and necessary to her life as she is to yours.
This old friend has abandoned you. She may not want to be known as the same person she was in lower grades, and wants new friends. She is allowed to change and grow and adapt, just as you are. It can be a heartache, but the truth is there for you to see.
Don't allow anyone to mistreat you, for any reason. You deserve to be treated with respect, regardless.
You don't have to run out and get a new best friend today, just hang around with people who like you and treat you nicely. If you can't find anyone, spend time by yourself, reading, taking bubble baths, and dreaming of your future. Good luck!

Answer 8

I understand your pain.

She is treating you like that because she is jealous of you for some other reasons. I do not think it has much to do with her family status at all.

The problem lies with you, not her. Why do you want to be around a person like that ? Her motives are not positive. If she was really a good friend, she would talk to you and open up to you about what is making her feel the way she feels. If she is putting up a front to other "new" people, then that should tell you how she really feels about you.

I think you deserve better.

Answer 9

sorry you cant let her carry on treating you this way. however much it hurts you must distance yourself a bit. She sounds like shes not a nice person, or even if shes doing it because she has some sort of hurt inside dosnt make it ok. make some nice friends. She may eventually realize what a good friend she is loosing and then you can show her what a good friend you are by still being there for her when she dosent deserve it!

Answer 10

Well I have to tell you my experience:

I had a best friend since I was in 4th grade, we were friends for 14 years. When we were about 12 she said that the day we get marry, we will be eachother godmothers.

Well she got marry about 2 months ago and she got another godmother cause she forgot our promise. But then she promise me to be her kids godmother.

The point is friends always change. I learned that. She doesnt even call me. I miss her and the good days, but well life goes on and I bet you will get better friends in your life.