Does the guy always set the wedding date? What happens after engagement?

Question

My boyfriend is proposing very soon.. and I don't know what to expect. All I know is that I want to spend everyday w/him for the rest of our lives, other than that and hoping he'll propose.. I have no idea what comes next.

Do we discuss a date, or does he give me one? Once I know a date is it ok to start the wedding plans?

Answer 1

It is YOUR wedding day. My wife allowed my opinion, but she knew what she wanted. You should both discuss the date and the setup of the wedding. You only get to do it once, remember that.

Answer 2

Traditionally you discuss a date and decide together. If your parents are going to be paying for it, you should discuss the date with them too.

You don't have to discuss the date immediately. If he proposes, and you say "yes", enjoy it for a while. Tell everyone you know. Enjoy the process. You can ask him how soon he was intending, then think about it for a little while. You need about a year to plan a wedding without going crazy. Again, enjoy the process. Go to all the bridal shows in your area. They usually give out free wedding planner calendars and have a lot of great deals. Once you have a date, start planning.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Well my impression of the way it traditionally works is once he pops the question, he has very little say in anything that happens after that. Most women usually have a date, or at least a general time of year, picked out in their minds before they even meet their future husband. Try to imagine your storybook wedding, then plan it all out. Unless he has highly important prior engagements (like life-altering surgery or going to war), he can work his schedule around your plans.

I don't know your situation of course, but that's pretty much how it worked with my wife and I. I'm not complaining, it was actually pretty nice. As far as the wedding went, she and her mother planned the whole thing. All I had to do was show up at the right place, at the right time, in the right suit. The wedding day should be all about the bride anyway, so she should have most of the decision making authority.

Guys have a lot of stuff to think about and plan when it comes to getting married. As liberated as our society is, most guys feel like they have to be the breadwinner for the family, and provide for their wife and (future) children. His mind will probably be buzzing with things like house payments, jobs, household expenses, etc.

Also, not to be crude or hurt any women's feelings, most guys don't really care if the flowers in the centerpiece are pink or yellow.

So go ahead and plan your perfect wedding. If your boyfriend has a problem with any of your plans, he'll let you know. If he has a lot of problems, he may be a control freak, in which case you may want to reevaluate your decision to marry him.

Answer 4

ok slow down little horsey....lol....once he proposes most men dont pick a date. normaly you just enjoy eachother being ingaged and then one night make dinner plans with him at home or out to eat and bring up the wedding date, just say so now that we are ingaged is it a good time to think of a wedding date, and if he thinks it is too soon, then tell him that it is ok if the wedding date is a year from now or two years from now you just want to know if it was possible so that you can make sure you have plenty of time to plan something like that. see what he says from there! as far as when you should start depends on the wedding date, if it is realy soon then you need to start right away, if it is not for a year or two then, i would just go to a wedding planner to see what they have and see what they say about how long you should wait before you start planning even if you dont plan on using them, that way you can get some ideas anyways on how to arange a wedding if you plan on doing it yourself. just tell them that you are lookin around and you will get back to them and let them know if you plan on using them or not, and then call them back later and tell them you chose someone else or that you chose to do it yourself. good luck.

Answer 5

It's different for every couple. We told each other our favorite times of year, and set a date from there. Start the wedding plans right away, so you're not rushed at the last minute and can have fun with them. You can also get those wedding planning books - they are really helpful to me right now, and make sure the places you want to use are legit.
I'm with ya girl, I love my man! This is the best time right now... And I knew he was proposing too, even though he tried to trick me...!

Answer 6

Once he proposes the two of you are free to decide on a date. A year from the engagement is about standard but any length of time is acceptable. If he has a time frame in mind he will let you know. I hope the two of you remain as happy with each other as you are now. Best Wishes.

Answer 7

First, how do you know that he will be proposing really soon? My husband and I chose the date together..why should he be the only one to make that decision. After the engagement is a year full of wedding planning and details.

Answer 8

You can talk about it together and decide on a date, its best to take the others families into consideration too, when will most people be able to attend and what works best for you and your schedules. Weddings cant take a year to plan and most recommend at least a 9 month notice, so set a date and then plan accordingly.

Answer 9

You both agree to a date, and then you start planning. If you want your wedding some place special you should book it as soon as you can to make sure the date is available. Good Luck

Answer 10

You both discuss a date and agree on one. And yes, after the date is set, you start planning your wedding.