I need help i'm sleeping with a married man and now pregnant>?

Question

I've been sleeping with this married man for 2 years now and i recently found out i'm 3 months pregnant for him. His wife doesn't know, but she knows that i'm a co-worker, but doesn't think we actually are seeing each other. He takes care of me emoitionally, physically and financially. He already has three beautiful kids with her. I never wanted to got this far with him. it was just supposed to be sex only. Now, i have strong feelings for him. He just brought me a new 2006 cadillac cts. I'm 20 and he's 37. I don't believe in abortions and don't want anyone else raising my kid. I know he'll take care me and my kid, but can i let go of him. Last night i told him i didn't want to be apart of it anymore and today he said atleast let me buy you a house for my kid. I know his wife doesn't need this, but should i tell her or just let go? I think she should know. Could i actually live with this secret from my family and his family also? What would i tell my child when she/he gets older?

he's not someone i see my self with anyway, but we have a lot together a bank account, that only he put's money in, and he got some real estate agent calling me to look at house he said was in his limit of purchase, so i know he'll really take care of me. besides the kids or for her, but he rasies them as his own. So he wants a child of his own, which is something that she can't give him.

Answer 1

well i at one time was in the same place as u r now ..i sure have been down a long stressfull road. 1st of all let him tell her that is his wife not yours..u don't need that extra stress on u rite now ...2nd u need to be honest with your own personal family..cause when and if he should walk away u can rely on your own circle of friends...3rd of all you know your child will be loved regardless,by u the mom. just remember material things doesnt mean he is in love w/u...just remember that .if u wanna chat more just get w/me i will be your new friend and be very honest to u share some personal experiences of my own w/u...

Answer 2

First of all what u did was very wrong(sorry but it's true).I don't think his wife has to know, unless you think he's gonna do this kind of thing again with another woman, because you would be tearing this family apart, think about the pain the faithful, caring, loving wife and mother of his children would undergo, it would kill her and the children, think about them; I mean I know that you should care about your baby too, but the difference is that they were born from a marriage based on LOVE, COMMITMENT, HONESTY, RESPECT, a promise of faithfulness, to stay together no matter what.So I think it's best if you take the money with which the guy was going to buy you a house, move, get a new job and a new life of your own; and who knows you might meet a guy that could be your baby's father and your husband.Please put yourself in his wife's place and imagine his co-worker coming up to you one day and telling you that she was pregnant from an affair that she was having with your husband:HOW WOULD U FEEL?So think about everyone who is going to get hurt in this love triangle.But all this depends on whether u r a selfish or a good person who thinks about not only her well-being but other people's too.

Answer 3

You honey you really got yourself in a pill didn't you? Well, first off there is no good in telling the wife. Second....you don't actually have to tell your family or the kid that the father is a married man. Why not just say you really wanted to have a child so you got artificially inseminated? No one will really know ya know? As far as if you should continue to se him...well that depends on if you want to or not? Will you be content with always being the *other* woman? Highly doubt he will leave his wife for you.....do you want to spend holidays alone? This sort of thing. So do some soul searching..but if you don't mind being the other woman (which could actually come with some benefits, lol) then relax...let him take care of you.

the bottom line is that you remember to follow your gut...do what it tells you to do.

Answer 4

Gosh..everyone is so quick to jump down your throat...Well ya know what....He's the one that's married, he knew better than you did..He made that choice to sleep with you knowing he had a family at home....Things never intend to go very far, but they always do...As long as he's willing to take care of you and the baby(the baby being most important)..Then let him...I won't say his wife will never know, because chances are..she will in time...And you have many years to tell your baby the whole story...But never the less...Love that baby with everything you have...Keep your head up..Things will work out, may not be what we always want or think they should be, but remember everything happens for a reason!! Good Luck to you and your baby!! :)

Answer 5

to be honest You should of had thought of all of that before you got involved. I belive that you have already hurt his wife by sleeping with her husband and shoud go tell her. That is between her and her husband. The only thing you should be focused in is you and this child. You dont want an abortion so therefor you must have this kid. Even is his wife found out you know deep down inside he would focus on mending that relationship.

Answer 6

Well maybe u should have some1 else to raise ur kid cuz sleepin w/ a married man is BS. I would never do that no matter how much i loved a guy. How do u think the wife would feel? Ur child doesn't need influences like that in their life. I think you should let go of the man, find i guy u love and is willing to take care of you and your baby and forget about that messed up relationship. If he really loved u or his wife he wouldn't do things that straight up scumbags would do.

Answer 7

I'm not going to give you the whole lecture about how wrong it is to do that to a married woman, who has no idea....but...it is wrong.

Anyway, I'd say you need to tell him. Because more then likely he'll drop you. Guys don't like things like that to happen, especially if they're already married, and this could get them caught....

OR...he could be a real man and take responsibility. Just be ready for an emotional rollercoaster. Congrats on the baby, and good luck with all you have to face.

Just remember, it's your baby. Be concerned for the baby. If all else fails....don't take it out on your child. It's not its fault.

Answer 8

Stupid, stupid, STUPID. What makes people screw married men???

You should just get the hell out of there. You do not need this. If you want to raise this baby, you're going to have to do it on your own. The more stuff he buys you, the more indebted to him you're going to be, and he will NEVER be out of your life. (of course he could fight you for custody, but that's another matter).

Don't be so sure the wife doesn't know about his stupidity & indescretions. Women can be a lot more aware than most people give them credit for (trust me on this one - intuition goes a LONG way). Chances are that for the sake of HER marriage she's just kept her mouth shut all this time; she doesn't need her nose rubbed in it like she's a puppy who sh!t on the floor...remember she's done nothing wrong.

You should change jobs as soon as you're able. Chances are that if you stay at this company, someone some place will eventually figure it out, and it will be all over (rumor-wise) that you're carrying dumba$$'s baby.

Answer 9

I would let him buy the house and the car then let him go. Now file for child support tell his wife. Now he is in a spot and won't do that to anyone else. Now get an aspirin and put it between you knees and keep it there.

Answer 10

Oh what a web we weave....

I feel sorry for this mans wife and his children.
If he bought you a car, chances are she KNOWS he's cheating anyway. There's no way someone can make a huge purchase like that without the other spouse aware of it.

You're going to end up doing this alone sugar. Sorry.

Answer 11

There are consequences to all our actions...this has been your choice to be this type of women...and this is the consequence to letting it go to far...allow him to provide for his child, he owes the child that much...His wife deserves to know but in her own time and that will eventually be revealed...do not ask anymore of him than he is willing or obligated to give..or he will find a way to cut you and your child off all together...I don't think he will allow this to ruin his perfect little family ..