I am nearing the end of my divorce from a 12 yr marriage. At first the soon to be ex and I could not be near each other without trying to yelling, but now we are actually talking, and I mean the talking like we should have done while married, no smoke and mirrors. I feel perplexed because he wants to go through with the divorce, let that part of business be done and then see what happens with between both of us after. Is this possible? he is not talking right after either he is talking in time, allowing for healing time as well as self identification, but I wonder if this is all a ploy to keep things nice or if he really means what he has been telling me.
2006-07-13 10:00:51 · 14 answers · asked by libby s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chances are he wants something from you. He hasn't tried to get the divorce papers changed recently, has he? If you have a pre-nup, because not to say anything that could make it invalid!
Let time be the judge. Maybe he is really being nice, but the best way to find out is the hard way - time.
2006-07-13 10:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kats 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you can not know right now for sure
if you have children together then he will be in your life, and you can see from there. see if he changes and if he stick to his changes
if you do not have children then it is up to you if you want a relationship with him.
if you want to work things out then you should take things slowly. See if the changes are real, and he is sincere. Remember after a divorce you both have to do some changes. You are going to have to ask yourself what happened, and how did i contribute to the downfall of the marriage. You may not want to admit this at first but you have to look deep, and see where the problems lie, at some level you are at fault.
When you can identify these problems, you can begin to work through them and then work towards a reconciliation.
f it is not a healthy relationship then you should move on, and as long as you are tied to him then you can never let him go.
2006-07-13 10:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by Enigmatic33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sometimes suggest this to people...divorce...end the bad marriage, then start dating again if that is your desire. But this time, truly date. keep having those long, deep talks you should have had while married. this is what the dating process is for. In essence, as so many other people have been trying to say, is date this person again and see if this man, as he is now, is someone you would want to marry. Don't have sex or have any intimate relationships for at least 1 year. It will just mess with your head during this time of healing and growth.
2006-07-13 11:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way ... get the divorce over with and heal. 12 years is a LOONNGGGG time to be married to someone. Learn new things about yourself. Be happy with who you are and get to know yourself better. Find out what makes you happy as a single woman. There are hundreds of people who have been married then divorce and get back together and it works out. Just take your time. Keep an open relationship and be honest and talk to each other. Yelling and screaming gets you NO WHERE .. and its great that ya'll are figuring things out.
2006-07-13 10:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sice the divorce isn't final yet I would find out where his head is and maybe reconsider.Once the divorce is finalized,don't look back.The goal is to keep moving forward.Never forget what made the two of you go this far with divorce in the first place.Believe that he is who he showed you he is.The mind has a way of causing us to minimize or forget the emotional trauma inflicted on us in a bad relationship,tust your heart.And always remember this...."A person can make their mouth say ANYTHING!!!!
2006-07-13 10:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its really possible. I have been seperated from my wife for more than 2 years now. We actually have a very good relationship now. We constantly argue when we were together and when we were just seperated. We even sold our house but have not split the money yet. We talk like lovers now and even take vacation together. So weird. But things are great now and we are planning to buy a house together again. Hope it works out for you.
2006-07-13 10:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by Kent N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's past the bitterness that usually comes with a divorce. I wouldn't look for reconciliation.. personally.... things may be different for a while, but it usually goes back to the same way it was, and same reasons why you're divorcing now. Be glad that he is being amiable, and leave it at that...
2006-07-13 10:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by ray of sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe it relies upon on the state. Adultery isn't even a reason that should be utilized in GA. in truth there would not should be any "grounds" from which to base a divorce on, now adays.
2016-10-14 10:42:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I tell you this, he is playing you for a fool. I know, it's happening to me right now. They talk really nice to you, "talk about things they SHOULD have talked about". Trust me, he is Mr. Nice Guy until the divorce is final, after that...he'll go back to not talking to you or worse...about you. He's in it until it's over, after that.....it really WILL be over. I don't want to see you go through the same things I did. Save yourself the heartache.
2006-07-13 10:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe it relies on the state. Adultery isn't even a intent that can be used in GA. Correctly there doesn't have to be any "grounds" from which to base a divorce on, now adays.
2016-08-09 01:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋