2006-07-13 09:29:32 · 6 answers · asked by lollis_fields 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends what they are doing together.
It's funny how stepkids work. It seems like the boys hate the stepdad, but girls take to him very much.
Let's bar the horrible thoughts about them getting attached romantically. That's really bizarre and fearful. It's not likely either, as most people are pretty well freaked out by that.
But there is a feeling that you may have of losing intimacy with your daughter to another person. As a teenager, she will increasingly be moving away from you and towards others in her peer group and even influential adults. That's a normal biologically based process. Getting in the way of it will always cause conflict.
But you have all the authority you need to shape that relationship and make it about something you want to see. Are they working on homework, on building her skills, on learning music, or exercise? Are these long periods of time building her self-esteem and making her a more effective adult? Is the step-dad possessive of her, or does he share outings with her friends so that she maintains a social network of peers, as well as the relationship with stepdad?
You have power over the step-dad as his spouse. You ought to use that power to shape the relationship to build up your daughter into an independent person. If he is making her dependent on him and chasing away opportunities for her and chasing away her friends, then, yes, you have a problem (as you would with an adult behaving that way with her). Otherwise, you have a powerful and helpful ally.
Good luck.
2006-07-13 09:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by Andy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is healthy. This is the age when she's looking for that male influence. She's probably interested in boys, too and is looking to her stepdad to see what they like. This is the perfect opportunity for him to teach her to find good guys and to respect herself .
2006-07-13 16:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by sunflor75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not at all. It is one of THE signs of child molestation. Go to Dr. Phil dot com and look it up.
Follow the link posted below.
2006-07-13 16:36:56 · answer #3 · answered by tat2me1960 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be concerned as to what step-daddy is up to! I'd be asking some questions of both of them.
2006-07-13 16:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by sammyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uuhh .. id pay a little bit more attention to what they do when they spend their time with each other,if you know what i mean...
2006-07-13 16:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ms Scarlet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe stepdad is the only father figure she has
2006-07-13 16:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋