I have heard a lot of women talking about this, and I myself have felt this way before. What makes us think we are the ones with the problem? And do you think we are right in feeling this way?
2006-07-13 09:18:58 · 25 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think it comes from misunderstanding. The reason dudes look at porn are different than the things women feel when dudes look at porn. Essentially, guys have a natural urge to wander, but it is superficial. Very superficial. It's not a relationship, you're not even getting turned on by another woman. There's no emotional connection or bond that's ever formed. It's like drinking coffee in the morning and getting a quick buzz.
The big issues is that it's a hard subject (pardon the pun) to talk about. There are a lot of feelings and emotions that are involved that are hard to work through. Unfortunately, it is a really really difficult to come to some middle ground. Its not a problem or a sickness on either side, but working a way through it is AMAZING for a relationship. It takes a lot of trust and understanding, and backing that up with doing all the right things aon a consistent basis. If you just get mad, turn your back, and refuse to talk about it, that's not being fair to you or him. As far as he is concerned, he needs to understand what you are feeling.
Both of you are right to your feelings. But resorting to a right/wrong scenario is not the way to go about it. Tell him how you feel. And give him the same respect.
2006-07-13 09:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by rattwagon 4 · 10⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with anyone. Man and woman alike look or read porn. When a man see a woman doing either he thinks nothing of it, or does her?
The reason we feel bad is because when our wo/man is looking/reading at porn it makes us feel in-add-u-quit. As if our bodies or our touch is not good enough. But that is never true... The reason wo/man look/read is not because there sex life is not sadisfing, but because they are feeling in the mood but there lover is not there or just is not in the mood.
I let my husband look at porn. We have a file on are desktop, It is filled with drawings and not real people. So I know what is in it and I do not feel threaten bye it.
If you find you are one of those ppl that feels threaten or in-add-u-quit because your lover like porn. I suggest doing what I have done. When you find photo or story that to not make you feel bad put them in a file, for your lover so they can have something when you can not be there.... I would rather my husband look at porn then have a second lover, wouldn't you?
2006-07-13 09:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sekkennight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do we do our hair or adjust a thing or two each time we look into the mirror even though we have it well groomed? It's but natural for us to think there is something in us that could be made "better".
It is that "feeling" that makes us strive towards perfection and we improve on our shortcomings.
Men are no exception to this. Btw, I a'm a man.
2006-07-13 09:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by wittyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find NOTHING wrong with porn! My husband I both enjoy it.
I think a lot of women are insecure with themselves, which is why most have a problem with their significant others looking at porn - they feel like they don't measure up to those girls!
2006-07-13 09:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not the woman's problem. The man just makes us feel that way because most of the time they do it secretly. If it was a shared thing then it could become not a problem but a positive interaction which would enhance their love life.
2006-07-13 09:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by bmbinqc64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the one with the problem so you shouldn't feel like there is any thing wrong with you he is the one with the problem if he would rather look at porn then the real thing.
2006-07-13 09:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by jamnjims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even as my husband seems at porn I both look with him or I allow him be. i do not understand why some women make a large deal out of it, except the guy is going accessible to easily cheat which isn't the case.
2016-11-06 08:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that we just dont like the thought of our partner looking at another woman in the same way they look at us. I think we have a fear that they might like what they see better and leave. Its an insecurity that I think almost every woman has had once in her life. I dont think its ok to think this way though. I personally think if I have enoguh trust and faith in my partner it wouldnt make me feel that way so much. I think that its this thought that we have to act or look a certain way in society to be attractive.
Its not true. You can just be who you are and be attractive. I personally think trying to be like someone else is fake and really quite stupid. I wish women wouldnt feel so insecure about themselves and I think they should find a way to accept who they are on the inside and the outside.
2006-07-13 09:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by niteangel2283 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a woman feels that she should be the one sought after and desired for and not someone on a video. It makes us feel that we aren't good enough. I don't know if this right to feel this way because sometimes it happens and you just have to communicate each others feeling about it.
2006-07-13 09:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by mrsfcsn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love porn and watch it with my husband all the time. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. We have learn all sorts of new positions from them and we've both learned what pleases us. I do not have the perfect body (far from it) but that doesn't get in the way of me being sexually adventurous with my husband. My husband loves that he can be open about his sexuality with me. Not only do I complete him emotionally, I synch with him sexually. Women are the ones that connect sex with love. Men can totally separate it in their minds.
2006-07-13 09:34:12 · answer #10 · answered by Bev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋