My husband left me?

Question

I lost my job in January. I was always the bread winner in the house.
I started my own business it is growing very slowly and the finances are not what they use to be. I used to pay 80% - 90% of the bills because he pays child support so we are not making the same money. My husband left me and he took our only car. I feel lost and dont know what to do.

Answer 1

You sound resourceful. You'll be OK. Good riddance.

Answer 2

First, you are going to be so much better off in the long run without that leech in your life.

Secondly, you need a lawyer. You can try for legal aid if your income is low. If you cannot get legal aid and there is a law school near you, go there for help. Otherwise, find SOME SORT OF LAWYER who will let you pay out your bill. You need to immediately file for a divorce for your protection and the protection of your business. He could be going out, running up bills, and sticking you with them. If you file for a divorce, you can not be held accountable for his bills after you file.

Is the car paid for, or is it financed? If it is financed in his name, forget it. Let him pay it off. Just make sure he does not forge your name on the title, making you also responsible for the payments. If the car is financed in your name, report it stolen! He has no right to it. If the car is paid for, regardless of the name on the title, have your lawyer petition the judge for an order to place it in your custody while the divorce is pending. You are entitled to it right now, since the children are with you. Also, get a temporary order for child support. In most localities, the support must be paid to the court, not to you. The court will then send you a check. This way, if he is late on child support, you do not have to file a complaint. It will be automatically filed in the court, putting him in jail if he gets behind. This is also a way to prevent him from claiming he gave you 'cash'.

Also, please see if there is anyone in your family who can loan (not give, loan with paperwork) you a few thousand dollars so you can buy a used car. Big city police departments have auctions all the time of vehicles taken from drug dealers and DWI convictions. They are very inexpensive for what you get, but you must pay in cash. If you check them out carefully, you can get a really nice vehicle for just a few thousand.

Please, don't feel lost. A huge, big door just opened for you. You only need to walk through it. You will no longer be supporting this jerk and whatever bad habits he has. Your stress level will change for the better. Live modestly on whatever income you have. Keep your bills paid, your kids in school, and yourself on the path to self-sufficiency. You will be amazed at where you are a year from now!

Santa Fe

Answer 3

Prayer is #1. Any relatives that can help you? Your husband sounds like a jerk! You can always take a bus to where you need to go. This can help when searching for a job, although you have a business you may want to start watching children at home for extra income til your business grows more. You can also have a yard sale or start selling lunches/dinners to local offices when you do get a car. Just a few suggestions.

Answer 4

Sounds like, as painful as it is, you may be better off without him. I know it hurts and you are confused. But he seems rather shallow if he's left because you don't have the income you once did. He stayed as long as you could support him in the lifestyle to which he'd become accustomed. Now where is he? And he took the car!?! I know right now it doesn't feel like you can recover from this, but you can. It will take time and lots of tears, but you will get through this. I hope you have someone to talk to and are not going through this all alone. And you can always pour your heart out to God. He's willing to listen to you anytime of the day or night, 24/7. God bless!

Answer 5

Unfortunately it sounds like you just learned the truth is he was just living off of you. The first thing you need to do is get divorced and get a separation judgment placed requesting the car. Next focus on your business and the rest of your life. I'm sure in time things will take off and your life will be even better than it was in the past and eventually I hope you will find true love in a man who is there for both the good and bad times.

Answer 6

First of all... OY! I am so sorry you are having such a rough year.
I would immediately start looking for a job working for other people. Maybe now is not the time to keep your business open.
Rent a car or buy a used car.
When you have cash flow and transportaion taken care of, then you should spend your energy figuring out what to do about your husband, and not before.
Right now, survival comes first.

Answer 7

Just goes to show you that you can't depend on a man to do anything for you that you can'ty do foer yourself. He lost his bread so now he is looking for a new chick to help him make that child support payment. Do you know why he left? Anyhoo, you have you own business so you will be okay. It will be hard at first without a car but you will be blessed.

Answer 8

First realize you will survive this and in the long run be better off. Sit down and make a plan of action! Call a lawyer, you need a good one. Rent a car if you have to. You will be OK. This is a good time to turn your life over to God. Find a good church, where they will be of moral support. God be with you!

Answer 9

that why i say never get involve with a man who has small kids its not the kids i am not paying are help pay no mans child support either he can carry his weight are poop be gone you have been used to his advantage dont take him back hes only using you file for a divorce and put his sorry tail back walking i bet the car you are paying the notes. dont feel lost you know what you need to do to regain your life

Answer 10

My ex-husband left me 14months after we got married. The reason he told me was that he didn't love me anymore and that he hadn't loved me for sometime.( he told me this over the phone with his girlfriend seating next to him) My world came falling down around me. I lost my husband, our 2 homes, and most of our friends. I knew that I had to be strong.. That I hadn't done anything wrong and that I would come out of this some way. I look inside of myself and found some one that I didn't know was there. It is now 4 years later and I have a five month old son, a house, and a wonderful man ( my soul mate).. So look inside yourself..... good luck .... I know how it feels...

Answer 11

Rely on the support of your friends and family, and file a police report. That car was community property, which means he can't just take it. Get a lawyer, and allow yourself to grieve so that you can reach the point where you'll be grateful that he left.