Could anyone critique my manuscript and check for spelling, punctuation, formatting, etc...
Why I am asking for this favor is, because I need a manuscript critique by a professional editor, because a literacy agency wants to represent my book and a critique is mandatory. If I don't get a manuscript critique, they won't work with me!!! I don't want that to happen, so could anyone do this for me? I don't have the money to afford one, so I was wondering if somebody could do it for free? Thanks so much. If someone decides to do a critique, make sure that it follows this format and answers these questions below.
Critique Section – This information will be provided by the Critic:
The current title – Does it work? If you saw it in a table of contents, would the title alone move you to look for this poem in an anthology?
Of Interest to None is the unfortunate title of this collection of poems. As the two of you should have been able to surmise for yourselves, if you don’t think it’s of any interest to anyone, why should anyone decide differently?
Does the format feel appropriate to the tone of the poems?
The poems in this collection would appear to be a mixture of formal and free verse. I must therefore assume that the authors felt "formal" was appropriate where they used rhyme and meter, and that "freedom" was equally appropriate where they used free verse.
Is the current length of the poem right? Does it feel too long (onerous) or too short (inadequate to the subject-matter)?
15,135-words (and ninety-three pages) represent an immense challenge to any reader.
Does the opening verse grab your attention and make you want to read further?
For purposes of this and the following questions, I have taken your poem "Abide" (missing one set of quotation marks, by the way, in your manuscript) for evaluation.
No. "Angel wing asunder" says nothing, and "asunder" is archaic.
Does the concluding stanza leave you with a desire to read more of this poet’s work?
No. "Stares into eyes of brother/And eloquently denies/Angel wing asunder/Above the tortured cries" The meter is 7/7/6/6 – which is non-standard by any stretch of the imagination. While "denies" and "cries" are perfect rhymes, "brother" and "asunder" are perfect only in the last syllable – and are essentially slant rhymes.
The far more grievous error here, however, is that the concluding stanza in no way summarizes, responds to, or even adequately concludes the rest of the poem. It is simply a continuation of the "sentiments" expressed in the other four stanzas – and I, as a poet, have no idea what those sentiments are.
Mechanics – meter (if formal); rhyme; line-breaks:
The meter of this first poem is quite inconsistent. The first stanza is: 5/5/7/6. The second is: 6/5/6/5. The third is: 7/6/6/5. The fourth is: 6/7/7/7. The fifth is: 7/7/6/6.
The rhyme scheme for this poem is abab. In the first stanza, aa is perfect; bb is slant. In the second stanza, aa is slant; bb is perfect. In the third stanza, aa is perfect; bb is slant. In the fourth stanza, aa is slant; bb is slant. In the fifth stanza, aa is slant; bb is perfect.
Line-breaks seem to be quite arbitrary.
Mechanics – spelling and punctuation:
While spelling would not appear to be a problem, I saw no attempt to punctuate any of the poems in this collection. Punctuation – unless you happen to be ee cummings – is a big part of poetry and well worth paying attention to.
Mechanics – formatting:
The mechanics and format is fine in the first poem (with the exception of the omitted set of quotation marks). Throughout the collection, formatting seems to be standard – although I noted that you capitalize the first word of each verse whether or not a majuscule is called for. At the same time, you never once indent consecutive lines – which are standard for all poetry.
Mechanics – inversions and other archaisms:
Inversions and archaisms are, unfortunately, in evidence throughout the collection.
2006-07-13
08:42:05
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7 answers
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asked by
kls
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