When is enough enough?

Question

There's a fine line between when to forgive/forget and when to move on. After a person has hurt you continuously be it spouse, family, or friend. What's the deciding factor of when to move on regardless of their attempts at apologies or reconciliation? In other words when does forgive and forget turn into move on and not look back?

Answer 1

when u think it is

Answer 2

Forgiving is probably easier than forgetting. It's very hard to forget and let go of the pain one has caused us. I think it really helps the process if the person who caused the pain is genuinely sorry and will never do it again. Another factor is obviously the severity of the pain caused. Some things are far more easy to get over than others. Also, it takes you truly believing the sincerity in the apology and not holding a grudge.....

Answer 3

That really depends on the person. Only you know when you have had enough. I faced this same problem a week or so ago with my sister. She has never liked me...she has gone out of her way to hurt me. It's been like this for my whole life. I have tried so many times to clear the air and be her friend. I decided I would try once more and really give it my all. It didn't matter. She just sucked in all of my niceness...took everything she could...and then continued with her hate and lies. That was it for me. I knew I tried as hard as I could and that I didn't do anything wrong that would deserve this treatment. I had to cut ties with her for my own sake. You have to be the most important person in your life. You have to do what is best for your body, mind and spirit. Don't feel guilty for that. Growth does not happen without change.Take care of yourself and I hope you have an amazing day!

Answer 4

First of all, forgive and forget does not mean let the person back into your life. It just means to let go so you can move on and not be bitter. Unfortunately, when to not let someone back into your life is a decision only you can make. When you finally feel that the person will never change, or doesn't deserve a final chance, or can't contribute to your well being anymore, I'd say it's time to let go.

Answer 5

When you have enough that's when you say hey I need some distance here. Then you can sort out and evaluate how important the relationship is to you and you can get a game plan. Some relationships are fixable and just a little bump in the road. But if the road is full of bumps and make you continuously miserable like it sounds then you need to move on. Its not easy but it is possible. You just have to do whats best to protect yourself.

Answer 6

when you cant take it anymore. When it starts to change you into someone you dont like. forgive is good for YOU. doesnt mean for the other person to keep doing whatever it was you forgave them for.Moving on is for your best interest. You can only take care of yourself. Move on, be happy.

Serenity Prayer-God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.

Answer 7

I think we all have individual boundaries. When they are reached with a person, then move on. What may be acceptable to you may not be to me, we're all individual.

Why would you allow someone to hurt you continuously? Firstly, YOU allow it so you are not a victim because you open the door to let them in. Keep putting up with it and you're sending a signal that it is acceptable behavior that you will tolerate. The first time it happens, shame on them. If you allow it to happen after that, shame on you.

Secondly, you don't need to make a big deal out of something. Just move on or let them know that their behavior is unacceptable to you so they need to either treat you better or you will no longer care to have them in your life. Don't compromise your standards.

We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If someone is not treating you that way, then move on... life is too short to live it constantly entangled in hurtful encounters. There are too many decent people out there to waste your time on the mean ones.

Answer 8

Move on when you feel you've had enough. Just make sure that you want the ties cut and don't look back. If they hurt you all the time and then apologize, they will continue to do that because they know they will get away with it. Go with your gut.

Answer 9

I think when you have personally had enough. You will know when you are ready. Sounds like you have had enough. Sometimes it is is to forgive but you can never forget. Apologies don't make any thing any easier.

Answer 10

You kind of just "know" it. As in, one too many times. Or going across a line you can't cross back from. Basically, when it becomes predicatible and you feel resentment when you think of that person -- despite the fact you might care for them -- the relationship has become toxic. But basically, you just know. You just don't want to take their calls or deal with them, and you want them no closer than arm's length, etc. Gut feeling. Exhaustion. Being fed up. All of a sudden, "I'm done".

Answer 11

when the person you've chosen to forgive keeps making the same mistakes over and over again because they don't realize how their actions have hurt you. When you feel like you can't trust that person with your heart anymore and its as if they have no concern for you. It turns in to move on and not look back when you feel like you deserve better, know you deserve better and that there's someone out there who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. With love, respect, and trust.