i know he loves me and i love him but i have kids by someone else and cant be a girlfriend my whole life. This is the only thing we disagree on. i told him I dont think i can continue to see him anymore. i am scared of leaving but feel it may be better than hurting later if he never changes his mind. i just hate that i feel as if i am walking out on this wonderful relationship. he is great with me and my girls. we all get along so well i wonder why he is so scared. he had told me previously that he wanted to marry me. this is a suprise to me. i dont care if it is anytime soon, my concern is that if he doesnt plan to ever, not just with me, i wont be comfortable. i cant be a girlfiend forever and won't live with someone unless i am married. i am 26 and he is 30 but it is hard.
2006-07-13 07:49:18 · 9 answers · asked by mygewy2001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, there is no future here for you. Move on no matter how hard it will be for you.
2006-07-13 07:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your complete situation but the truth of the matter is this, if this guy loves you as much or in fact more than you love him then he would make sacrifices. Just like the old adage goes why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? He's getting everything he wants without the actual true commitment while you're suffering in silence. You know you want and deserve more but you think that this relationship is the best because of how he treats you. Well if the relationship is that good and he loves you that much and wants what's best for you and the kids then he would make it official. Trust and believe me that what he is not willing to do, someone else will gladly do. If you give yourself time, focus on making yourself a more valuable person then you will receive the man in your life that loves you and the kids and wants to take care of all of you. To stay or not to stay is your choice. Just know that in staying, and knowing his mentality about marriage, you're depriving yourself of being at your best and your highest. Relationships are designed to add value and complement an already whole person and not necessarily to complete someone who's only half secure in themselves. Don't let a seemingly good relationship take away from your value as a person deserving of love.
2006-07-13 08:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet_Sassy_Scorpio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have just broke up with the father of my daughter because our beliefs dont match. I didnt want to continue to spend time with someone who I wasnt COMPLETELY happy with. I do believe there is someone out there who is a closer match.
You need to ask yourself without being afraid of the answer.. "Is this enough for the rest of my life? Will this relationship make me fully satisfied for the rest of my life just the way it is without desiring change from him?"
If the answer is no, be forwarned.. if you do get married, it costs A LOT to get divorced and tears hearts in the end. If you leave now without getting married, maybe down the road you can still be friends or meet back up and try again.. sometimes time alone or without the other gives someone a different perspective on how life is, what's important and what they want from it.
Hang in there. Sometimes what is right to do, hurts a lot.. but normally something good or very rewarding comes out of it in the end.
2006-07-13 08:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by senacia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When 2 people want very different things, it's not going to work. If you want to marry someday, you should not have to compromise that. Likewise, if he never wants to marry you or any woman out there, he shouldn't have to compromise that either. You need to speak to him directly, as bluntly as you stated in this post. Tell him you're not in a rush right now, but you know in your heart that you desire marriage and if he never ever wants to, it's unfair for him to hold onto you, as it is unfair for you to hold onto him. It's just like people who don't want kids marrying those that do. It's not going to work. That leads to unhappiness. Either one person gets kids that they don't want or one doesn't have them and wants them. It could work out though if and only if this guy does truly want to marry one day, so ask him directly and hopefully he will be on the same page as you. If not, you're still young and you will find someone else who will share your values exactly. Good luck.
2006-07-13 07:56:08 · answer #4 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a piece of paper, not a feeling. commitment is the feeling u looking for.if u are committed to each other the paper shouldn't matter.and besides in some states after 8 years of cohabitation u are considered common law spouses.
2006-07-13 08:03:42 · answer #5 · answered by bonny b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to move on...You know what you need out of the relationship. You know how much he is willing to give. and according to you ...i tis not enough....i know it's hard, but you and him need to have a talk and soon!@!@
2006-07-13 07:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by Wild seed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would want him to get married to me and would'nt be happy till.
2006-07-13 07:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by chrissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't that be putting your beliefs on the wayside?
2006-07-13 07:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by yep_yep_2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No because it will evetually become a problem because you will want more.
2006-07-13 07:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋