How do you deal with a interracial relationship?

Question

I’ve been in an interracial relationship for about 8 months now. He’s Black (age 26) and I am White (age 20) . We tried to go about it the right way. He wanted to meet my mother .. so he did. Then the next couple of weeks rolled around and he wanted to take me out to dinner and a movie .. and she flipped out. So, since that night back at least 6 months ago when she denied me seeing him .. we’ve kept us hidden from my mother until a month ago when she found out that I had been hiding him and I for so long.

So, now that she knows .. she’s told the rest of my family .. so they would know and they would tell me there views .. you need to know that I live in a part of Ohio that for the most part I feel is in the middle to the excepting of the whole interracial dating thing. My whole family I know isn’t a huge fan of the idea of me dating a black guy. He’s offered to meet with them and talk to them .. but they just wont let it happen. I want them to try and except this I really do because him and I mean a lot to the other one.

So, if anyone has been in this situation that I’m in .. where there family was against there relationship because of the race of the other person .. tell me how you delt with it. Because I really feel like I’m in this place where I don’t know if I should just give in to them .. or just be like I’m happy and you guys should be happy .. that I’m not with the last *** of guy that I dated.

Answer 1

Measure the man by his heart and not by his color. If he is a good man, I mean, if he treats you well, if he is honest and generous, and courteous to others (especially his family) and good with children, then he is worth keeping.

If you are happy, then your family should be happy for you. Interracial relationships as taboo is an old fashioned idea. Anyone who is against your relationship is a closet racist and should either change their attitude or butt out.

And you are right, it's better than being with a dork like the last guy you dated. A better man is a better man regardless of whether he's black, white, yellow or purple with orange polka dots.

Answer 2

I personally have never been in that situation but I had a close friend who was in a similar one. She dated a black guy for 5 years. Her parents had finally accepted it after a while but you could tell that her mother still had a big problem with it judging by little comments she would make now & then. You wouldn't believe how relieved the woman was when they broke up. Sadly the way some people think & act in this type of situation is just due to how they were raised. I dated a guy for a little while who is half mexican & I'm sure my family would've been weird about it had I brought him to a family get-together. Heck, my parents were acting funny when they first met my current bf....and he's white! It was just cause he has long hair to his chin. Anyways, what I personally think you should do is basically just tell your family that times have changed, you are with him, you BOTH are HAPPY & that they should just accept it cause it's not going to change....and that being 20 years old, you ARE an adult for heavens sake & can make your own decisions about who you date. Best of luck to you! :-)

Answer 3

Some familys will never accept interacial dating. I`m 43 and dating a black woman> my family dose not like the fact, how ever I`m a grown man and feel I should be able to be with the person of my choice. maby his family feels the same way about You> Don`t worry about what your family thinks! Do what feels right for you!

Answer 4

I had the same problem, i know how you feel, where you just see the man you love and want to be with, and as a person/human being but everyone else just See's a colour, it took a little time before my parents came round but with time they did, your boyfriend is going to have to impress your parents a 101%, and work harder to make your parents trust him, you have to decide if he is worth loosing your family over or be strong and let them know you love him, and your happy, ask them don't they want you to be happy? and that love knows no colour, it's the person you fall in love with. Good luck.

Answer 5

lf your 20, how can your Mother deny you seeing anyone? Your an adult, you don't need to hide who you are dating.
If you have feelings for the man, don't let your family's prejudices get in the way. It's simple, they accept you for who you are or they don't. If you give in to this now, they will be running the rest of your life for you.

Answer 6

well for starters i dont think at your age you need to be in a relationship, certainly with a dude 6 years your senior. i think you need to handle yourself and your life first, sounds like you need to get the hell out of middle america. your family sounds like a bunch of stereotypical, intolerant hicks.. no offense or anything, sterotypes are sterotypes. they dont even want to meet the guy? wow.
i havent much experience in this department, i live out west and was raised to view everyone as an equal- its saddening to hear stories like this; i mean for crying out loud what year is this? we ARE in the 21st century are we not? these are the people electing our leaders. these people are the ones becoming our leaders and these people are of the same small-minded backwards thinking mentality possessed by our current leadership.. i dont mean to rant on other issues but for for christ sakes!
i suggest moving out of ohio and go to school if your not already in one. maybe you can teach your family a few things before you go about the modern world.

Answer 7

I feel great about it! I really don't mind interracial dating. I think its beautiful when people can express their feelings and not bow to the status que placed on us by society. People forget and so it seems, there isn't what they would describe a "problem" with this situation, They choose not to address it, well the "problem" is people being color blind, to the specifics of the word, BLIND TO THE COLORS AROUND YOU. They are unwilling to accept them and hence they are not there or you are blind to them. I don't believe in color blindness, its ignorance, it needs to change, be aware of the wonderous variety around you and accept it. I Think its extremly interesting to learn about other people's ways of life. I think its really sad that people of any race can simply 'dis' others becuase they are of any color.

Answer 8

Im happy u r with him no matter what, my bf is black too, but u should do what u want i mea u r 20 not 15, u should try that ur bf talk to ur mom, but u shouldn't worry about ur whole family...

Answer 9

How do you deal?

Honey,there's no law that says you can't be the with the guy.You're 20 years old,so live the life you what to live.

You can say, "Mother,I love you but this is what makes me happy." If she can't handle her child being content then what does that say about herself?

I'm not insulting your mother,I just asking.

Answer 10

they should be ok with any decision because they should love you for who you are and what you do. It sounds like their more worried about how the family will look rather than how happy you are. You need to tell them to accept you or goodbye.