What would you do if your bf or husband lied about a few things but they were serious things, quit his job and procrastinated (did I sp that right?) about finding another one for 3 MONTHS and referred anything you 2 did together to the time when he and his ex did something? After being threatened with you leaving he got a job and was accountable for his whereabouts and actions but was mean and callous about the fact that he hurt you. He would tell you things like "you should just get over all that" and "just deal with it and be happy we are together because you're f-ing crazy and stupid for being upset." I was about to leave him and he told me he was sorry and would change the fact he was so mean and hateful but i had heard that literally a million times over. Should i give him a chance to be there for me and understand it is going to take time for me to get over all he did or leave him and try to wait for someone who will treat me with love, respect, and honesty from the get go? .
2006-07-13 07:18:23 · 18 answers · asked by Sarah K 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do you love him? and can u trust him? if u can answer those two questions and ur heart and mind be at ease w the answers then u've made the right decision.. once trust has been broken its very hard to regain.. if he has lied about those things what else has he lied about and will he in the future..ive never understood why people lie... there is nothing out there that u cant tell the truth about..if u dont it just makes it ten times worse..just deal with it huh? could he just deal with the fact u lie to him on a daily basis or said hateful things to him? that is no way to live or have a relationship..i would try counseling and see how that goes and see it he is willing to change and if not well maybe its time to move on....do alittle soul searching
2006-07-13 09:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 9⤊ 1⤋
People can change, mostly by maturing, and it's possible that he might do that over time. But it probably won't happen if he thinks that he can just stay with and maybe throw a few token changes your way.
These issues are SERIOUS business and you just can't be with someone who's going to do that to you. I learned the hard way way in my life that I had to be serious and be mature, but it was after I lost my wife for over a year.
I realized I was wrong and I've won her back. I did that because I'm mature and ready for a family now.
However, it doesn't sound like your man is at that point.
2006-07-13 07:39:22 · answer #2 · answered by justwebbrowsing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all does he admit to the lying and not respecting you. If not then leave him, he ain't worth your time. You may be able to work through all this, it just takes time. Honesty is very important. Let him know that you and him are in it for the long haul and when times get rough he needs to tell you so you can work things out without lying about it. If he is calling you stupid then he is verbally abusive and you don't need that. If you think you can get through this and make it work then Good Luck, if not then go ahead and get out of this now. Best Wishes.
2006-07-13 07:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this before and its not easy, I did chose to stay after I found out that my husband was having an affair on me , it still hurts and yes I have been told to get over it and called stupid and crazy, but in the last year things have begun to change alot, he spends more time with me and shows me alot more attention than he ever did, I really think that people can change but they need help and probably what your husband is lacking is self esteem just like mine was , I hope the best for you and remember if at any time it gets abusive you do not have to put up with that. god bless
2006-07-13 07:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I survived typhoon Andrew even as on Harbor Island contained in the Bahamas. It became scary regardless of the indisputable fact that the evacuation for Rita a pair of years in the past became worse by employing a procedures. i'm stocked with elements and staying. The roads contained in the route of Austin are going to be crowded and in case you haven't got already got an section to stay, you received't locate an empty room. we are able to, likely, have some heavy rain and robust wind so placed your autos on intense floor, purchase some sand bags on your doorways & usher in something round your living house that is a projectile. do not hardship too a lot! Oh and do not pay any interest to that MizHollywood individual, she's a hater so do not take it in my opinion. i'm no longer efficient who she thinks has the "acceptable" to say "you adult men".
2016-11-06 08:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't know my husband was married to you too! This is a personal choice. People tell me what I should do all the time. I appreciate to advise, sometimes I even ask for it....But Ultimately I choose not to change my situation. BTW I've been with mine for 8 very long years....... I still remember when each day was better than the next........(it was about 7 and 1/2 years ago.)
don't waste time asking for our advise. Pack your bags and go live a real life....Do it for all of us!
2006-07-13 07:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by Doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really expect to get an honest answer to a question that only presents one point of view on a situation that clearly involves only two people? You have already decided what you want to do, you are looking for justification and rationalization for your actions.
Either you want to stay or you want to go, only you can chose what is the right path for you. Make a choice and do what you need to do.
Perhaps it is easier to hide behind the facade that "well everyone said I SHOULD do so and so........ Think for yourself it's your life
2006-07-13 07:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by rascal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never ceases to amaze me how quick folks on Yahoo! Answers are to advise someone to abandon a relationship when it runs into rough waters. Also, I find women very anxious to validate the feelings of other women and to be emotionally supportive of what they perceive to be the desires of the woman who is complaining about her relationship. Seldom is there any attempt to explore what she has done wrong, or has attempted to do to make the situation better. There is always another side to the story. Does that make me callous and mean to say so? Sadly, many of you will think that.
Right on, rascal. I hadn't seen your post when I was writing mine.
2006-07-13 07:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all the trust is broken.... once you break once is too many. and I don't think it will work and I need you leave that person and find someone that really cares about you and wanted you and respect you and treat you, love you. or you can stay with him and forgive him for the rest ofyour llife. and it better leave him and start new and no worries with that person anymore.
2006-07-13 07:30:25 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what he is will to do to change.Keep in mind he won't change much. Let him know that you are seriously unhappy but do not threaten him that you will leave constantly.most guys rebel when they are threatened. tell him you want to feel loved and respected and you'll get off his back. otherwise it is time to move on.
2006-07-13 07:26:33 · answer #10 · answered by 2shrrp4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋