3 months ago my wife and I separated after 11 years together. Basically she is going through a second childhood and wants to discover what the single life is like (got married at 19). She was my high school sweetheart, best friend, and only woman I have ever loved. I am having such a hard time accepting that it is over and letting go of her. To make things worse she now has our little girl for the next 6 weeks. I have always been a family man, now everthing I love is gone and I feel alone. I am getting counseling and the doc put me on anti-depressants but I am still so heartbroken. I currently live 400 miles away. My wife makes me feel guilty about moving back to the same town as her so we can both see our daughter any time. Problem is, it is so painful to see my wife all of the time and watch her go on with her life. I never ever saw this coming. She was the first and only so I feel so lost without her. Freinds say find a new woman, but I am not even interested. Any good advice?
2006-07-13 07:09:45 · 12 answers · asked by Scott B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick with the counseling and the meds. Dont even think about finding another woman. You're not ready. But you will be once you regain your self confidence. Put very strong interest into who YOU are right now. You need and deserve it. Become physically active. That will get the endorphins rolling. One is able to do anything in their mind. Try it, you will be amazed. The more you dwell on her, the worse you will feel. Insist on time with your daughter, once you are strong enough to handle it.
Life isnt easy. But it is possible to live and love again.
2006-07-13 07:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIME IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HEAL YOUR SHATTERED HEART.I KNOW THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.I AM BEING HONEST.HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE SAYING-EVERTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT IN THE END AND IF IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT THEN IT IS NOT THE END-OK SO IT SOUNDS KIND OF FUNNY.BUT IT IS TRUE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.WITH TIME HEALS EVERTHING.SO IN THE MEAN TIME WHILE YOU ARE WAITING ON TIME TO HEAL YOUR SHATTERED HEART HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.THATS WHAT THEY ARE FOR.I KNOW YOUR HEART WILL STILL HURT WHILE YOU ARE WITH THEM BUT AT LEAST THEY CAN TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE.MAYBE EVEN GO TO SOME CHAT ROOMS.THAT ALSO WILL HELP KEEP YOUR MIND OFF OF IT.IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO FIND A WOMAN TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEN MAYBE FIND A FEMALE FRIEND TO HANG OUT WITH.THAT MAY ALSO HELP WITH THE PAIN.GOOD LUCK TO YOU
2006-07-13 07:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that this person isn't a freshman in high school or a middle schooler who thinks that they are in love with somebody and when they break up with them "their heart is smashed." Think about it. If you are of an age where you really experience romantic love (16+) and not little giggly crushes then talk to someone about your problems (especially the really nice guys. they know how to comfort girls when another guy breaks their heart. Gay guys probably would help also). But if you are below 16 years old I would look deep inside and see if you really loved him after all. You probably just had a physical attraction to them or a "crush" which really has no deep desires. Just find another guy and move on in that case and use this experience to prepare you for the real shattered hearts in a couple of years.
2016-03-15 23:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been an advocate of the Oh I just got out of relationship the best way to move on is to start another.. you have been in a relationship for 11 years and it will take time for you to get over this... the counseling is good and the anti-depressants may help you in that they will allow you to function so you can can keep going... but the only real way to deal with this is to accept that the relationship is over and put your needs and that of your daughters foremost... it will be hard and there will be setbacks but know that as cliche as it sounds getting by day by day is what helps... you just keep on going and eventually your life starts to revolve around things other than your pain and it slowly fades ... and you start looking forward again instead of back... I feel your pain because I am working through a broken heart myself right now... Be strong and remember that this to will pass... whether it seems it will or not...
2006-07-13 07:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that will cure this is time. It's going to take plenty of it. Another woman is not a good idea, especially when you're still hung up on her. Find some other activities you like, sports or something to do. It's very important to stay busy. Make sure you follow the Dr's. instructions with the anti-depressants. If they don't help, look into some counseling.
2006-07-13 07:14:56 · answer #5 · answered by Glennroid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Replcaing her is not going to help. I have been in similar situations in the past and I can tell you that everything happens for a reason. You can't see it yet however it will get better. You are struggling because you have been with her your entire adult life! You don't know how to be a grown up without your family! Take this as an opportunity to find out who you are. Join a club, meet some buddies and go out on the town. Discover who you are brother!
2006-07-13 07:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing will help u thru this. speakin from experience. cry it out, deal w/ it. cry till theres nothing left. leave her alone, hope she does the same. u can't be friends & u shouldn't try 2 get her back. it hurts & may always hurt, but try 2 get along the best u can. try 2 have fun, u may be better off on ur own, also. in the long run u'll see it. you'll hopefully be a better man better off. the best revenge is 2 keep goin, keep strong, u have another person 2 think of, not just urself, ur child
2006-07-13 07:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need time to heal it will take a while to get over your marriage but u will. I'm sorry this is happening to u. but the old saying is true time heals everything. good luck on everything.
2006-07-13 11:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by olive_olive_72 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best healer is time. You have to get on with your life. Try volunteering somewhere. It might help. Good Luck to you.
2006-07-13 07:18:18 · answer #9 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is OK to go through the hurting stage. Time is best healer.
Just remember that she does not deserve you anymore
2006-07-13 07:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by hotdesersand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋