I'm getting married to a wonderful man, who was married before and it didn't work out for them. People are saying bad things, Like i don't know why she's any different, he didn't put forth effort to his marraige before. He drank a lot when married to her, but dosen't with me. I'm starting to feel bad becouse there marrige didn't work, but i know ours will. How do i get past this?
2006-07-13 07:03:48 · 26 answers · asked by becky w 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If people say hurtful things to you, try this:
"Thank you for you good wishes about my upcoming marriage. I'm really excited about it. Thanks for thinking of me." Or similar. Make sure you put something in about "good wishes."
Rude people who only have bad things to say should stop at this point. If not, repeat. Don't say bad things about them in turn, or you're as bad as they are.
FYI my sister's second husband also was getting married for the second time. He used to drink and was not very responsible in the previous marriage as well. They both stopped drinking years before their marriage and have now been quite happy for over 10 years. So people can change if they want to!
Good luck and I hope your special day is great!
2006-07-13 07:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People done the same thing to me before I got married. Even my own family. There will always be rumors, and there is nothing you can do about that. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now, and nobody thought we would make it. There are times it has been VERY HARD...a lot harder than I thought it would be. A couple of things though....if you are having any doubts...DON'T DO IT....if you have problems with what everyone is saying now, what are you going to do later on...like I said, there will ALWAYS be rumors. You have to go with your gut. If a marriage doesn't work out, there is always blame placed on one spouse or the other....sometimes it's nobody's fault...it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe he drank because of his difficult marriage....who knows? The only other thing I can tell you is to talk to him about it....again...if you can't do that, don't get married. If you do get married....good luck...and don't let the fact that you are married change ANYTHING about your relationship.
2006-07-13 07:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every individual is different in their habits, personalities and nature. Everyone has their own flaws. Perhaps it didn't work out for them because they were not compatible with each other. And they could not take each other's faults as they are. Or may be, perhaps, they brought out the worst in each other....a person drinks usually to run away from situation. He must be doing it with her because of that. And since he feels good with you, he need not take the refuge of alcohol as he can be with you what he is!
So, don't have those last moment jitters.You have a wonderful life partner, enjoy your life. Best of luck and have a great married life ahead!
2006-07-13 07:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by vartika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure how long you have known the guy but assuming it's been more than a few months, if he treats you good then ignore what they say. They aren't marrying him, you are. People change and these people may be going on hearsay. If you are happy just be happy. Don't let them bring you down. Good Luck!
2006-07-13 07:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by nahimana34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it, they're just trying to put you down. If it's your friends that are saying all of this then they're not very good friends. If you believe that he's a good man just go with your heart. Don't let what people say change the way you feel about him. Just do what you think is best. Good Luck!
2006-07-13 07:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by game_freak517 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has an opinion. If you feel that it will work, then do it. Its your decision in the end anyway. It may have not worked for them that has nothing to do with you. I would only worry about the drinking. As long as he stays away from that I think you'll be fine. Good luck.
2006-07-13 07:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let see this is my second marriage and it been wonderful for 9 years.. now about drank alot not doing with you.. I am little worry if you two get married and he will start drinking??? and you will be stuck... don't get married yet wait longer and once he started to drink you will see wow... good thing I wasn't married yet.
2006-07-13 07:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep ignoring the comments you are hearing or it will tear your relationship up. If he's going to make mistakes, wait until they happen and deal with it then. Also, the other people might be jealous of what you have. Good luck.
2006-07-13 07:10:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to quit listening to what people say. Who cares what they think? They aren't marrying him, you are and you know him better than they do, or at least I would hope so. Just live your own life and ignore others. Some people just love to stir up trouble.
2006-07-13 07:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.King 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forge that haters and move on with your life. If hes a changed man why does it matter? You love him now for who he is now who he was back then. You shouldn't feel bad that their marriage didnt' work out, if it had you wouln't have the man you love dearly. Good Look and God Bless! Congratulations!!!
2006-07-13 07:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Katie*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋