Any parents out there feeling guilty by putting kids in daycare?

Question

I don't need anyone telling me I'm an awful parent so save your breath, just looking or a few people who relate.

Answer 1

I did when I first had to do it. My children really enjoyed it though and they were taught a lot, got to go on field trips, make friends etc. Over all it was a pretty positive experience for them.

Answer 2

I was very fortunate...with my first son, my sister took care of him from 6 weeks until about 6 months, then we put him in daycare. I felt horribly guilty. With my second son, he started daycare at 3 months and stopped at 4 months. We had a wonderful center close to home, very clean, that we loved, but in the month that my younger son was there, he had a bronchial infection and viral meningitis. He had no sooner gotten over the meningitis then he got the lung infection.

I work full time now because I have to...I'm the breadwinner in the family. Honestly, if I quit my job, we'd be homeless... My husband "could" stay home with the boys, but that would make things uncomfortably tight for us, financially. We'd never be able to go out and do fun things in the evenings, weekends, holidays, they'd be wearing nothing but clothes from The Salvation Army, we'd be scrimping by with food, toiletries, etc.

I don't think you're an awful parent at all! It's sort of ridiculous to say all people should wait until they're financially stable before they have kids. Well...hello?! Some people, depending on the line of work they do, will never be financially stable. It doesn't matter if you're wealthy or poor...you can still be a good parent and make do with what you have.

Answer 3

I can totally relate. I felt very guilty when I put my daughter in day care and it was only part time. But I think that not only is it ok but its good for kids. I worked in day care for years and I really think that kids gain a lot from it. Not only do they get socialized and learn things like sharing earlier than stay at home kids but they get to do lots of crafts and art projects that stay at home moms just don't have the time or experience to come up with. I think that a good balance is needed. I always hated seeing kids that were in daycare more than forty hours a week. I worked in a hospital daycare where many children were dropped off at 6:30 in the morning and not picked up until 7:00 at night. But a few days or everyday half day can be a wonderful thing for kids.

Answer 4

I don't trust daycare centers, because my brother was abused when we were in daycare as kids. You are not an awful parent, and yes you would feel guilty even if you had a family member watching the kids.

Answer 5

i never felt guilty b/c i interviewed about 5 or so daycares. . .

licensed home child care that is. and i know that my child is in good hands. my daughter's babysitter only takes care of two other babies. an 8 month old and a 20 month old and they are both sisters. i don't have to worry about my daughter coming home with bites on her arms or being too dirty.

i've worked at a daycare and i really don't want to put my daughter in one until she is at least 5 years old and starting school.

the only time i ever feel quilty is when i go out with my friends or out to a movie. i can't stop thinking about her.

Answer 6

I did when he was a newborn but now I think it's the best thing for him. His daycare is very into teaching them things and he's making lots of friends. He knows more things than I would have expected a 2 year old to know and he loves his teachers. It helps him with his manners, with sharing, and it keeps his mind and body active all day so he's never bored.

Answer 7

I am very lucky to get to work at home. I would feel guilty leaving my baby but if that's what you have to do to take care of your family then try not to feel bad. You're not an awful parent at all, if I weren't so lucky to have this job I would be in the same boat.

Answer 8

I HATED the thought of having to send my boy to day care at 4month old. BUt we got lucky and foud a WOUNDERFUL women with 6 kids of her own (one of which is only 3 months older then my boy). He absoloutly LOVES it there. It makes it alot easier when you find someone that you trust and that your kids like. You are NOT a bad mom for having to work. In this day and age it is almost impossable to be a stay at home parent and still pay the bills. Don't feel bad for doing what you have to do to insure the survivel and wellbeing of your family.

Answer 9

I am a daycare provider (kids sleeping), i wouldn't feel guilty or let others make you feel guilty. What matters most is your child's happiness. If he/she are happy with their daycare provider and enjoys going there, you should feel at ease that your children are being well cared for. I do have parents that bring their child here on their day off, which pisses me off. I have their child 50+ hours a week and they can't spend one extra day with them? So, on your days off, spend it with your children..

Answer 10

i feel guilty cus i miss him a lot during the day but i know the woman is good so i am not too worried he is older now(11mths) he has been going since he was 3mths. It's not really daycare its a woman who takes care of children in her home

Answer 11

funny I'm a stay at home mom and baby sitter and I feel guilty about not having my son in daycare.... i think as moms we want the best ans we get unsure what the best is when we hear all kind of stuff both + and - about both stay at home and day care... sounds like your a great mom!!