instead I have a disfunctional family who hates each other and doesnt even know why. I know I cant fix them and they dont want to be healthy so what can I do? I have 2 great straight 'a' student kids who are emotionally healthy and love life but I want the big happy family,. I guess you cant always get what you want. so sad.
2006-07-13 06:41:44 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sounds like my family. Unfortunately you cant make them be a happy healthy family, but it is important to raise your children in one. Even if it means limiting it to you and your spouse.
2006-07-13 06:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tamie C 2 · 11⤊ 2⤋
I'm going to ask a different set of questions for you because asking "what can I do" in a situation that you yourself claim is unsolvable is not very useful.
So here are the questions I propose for you:
How do I reconcille what I wanted with what I have?
What can I do to stop feeling guilty for wanting so much more than what I've already got?
Here are my answers:
Count the blessings you do have. I mean it. Sit down and write them out. Don't forget to include things like "I don't have an incurable disease that is robbing me of my prime years", "my children don't go to bed hungry", and "I live knowing I am loved".
Contrary to what you stated in your "question", it is NOT sad that you can't always get what you want. What IS sad is lamenting and pining while you have something so wonderful, and I think you know that. You must know that MANY good people don't even have as much as you. I think of people in my life, children born with CF and down syndrome, children whose lives will have extra challenges and whose parents will need to have much more strength and courage to not let fear and anxiety make them unhappy. I'm sure you must know that these people exist, even if you don't know any of them personally. I can imagine knowing that but still feeling disatisfied could make you feel greedy or guilty, to know that you are not satisfied with what for others would be a miracle of the highest level.
So here's what you do to get over that. After you write out all the blessings you have (which should fit into a 3 subject notebook), pour your love and heart into the wonderful family you do have and to hell with the rest of your extended family who are unable to live and love strongly. Work in your neighborhood or community to build strong ties with friends and neighbours, they can be your extended "family". Also, you and your immediate family might want to consider volunteering to work in a soup kitchen, to gather/label/distribute food at a pantry, or do other volunteer work that will provide you with numerous opportunities to be extremely intensely happy for what you all have.
2006-07-13 14:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by perseph1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can have your own healthy family... me My family oh my gosh very very awful healthy family. Now I am married for 9 years and a wonderful wife and 2 beauitful kids and I learn to change that to my family to healthy family .... since I can't fix my family healthy life. but only me and my own family smiling. hope that works.
2006-07-13 13:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every one is lucky just gotta deal with what u have. I feel really bad 4 u. Hope things clear up
2006-07-13 13:49:25 · answer #4 · answered by mistee_246 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww... at least you have a great husband (you didn't mention 1, i'm presuming) and two great kids...
2006-07-13 13:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋