How to help a roommate with an eating disorder?

Question

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?

Answer 1

If you care about someone, never be afraid to tell them how you feel about their problem. Offer them help in whatever way you can. This is assuming of course, that they want your help. If they don't, the most giving thing that you can do is to simply let them know that you're there for them when they need you.

Answer 2

NEVER NAG THEM ABOUT EATING. (sorry for all the caps, just wanted to get my point noticed.) That ONLY makes the problem worse because they're getting attention for their "wonderful willpower." They think this because it's obvious people are noticing their "hard work and sacrifice." Also, you'll seem like the bossy roommate if you comment on her eating all that ice cream. She might even take it to mean she's fat. Any comments regarding food or eating WILL be taken very badly, so don't even try.

The only thing with bulemics that I would suggest is to use reverse psychology. Make comments on their breath, their yellowed teeth, how much time they spend in the bathroom, the smell of the bathroom after they come out. Make them feel embarrassed over the gross parts of the disease. That might make them come around, or it might just turn them completely anorexic. It'll be different for each person.

Also, the next time your friend asks you if something looks good on her, tell her no. Tell her clothes don't look good on skeletons. Take her in front of the mirror if you have to, and show her all the places where you can see gross bones. Tell her that no shirt looks good on her because she has no boobs left because of all the excessive dieting. Get some pictures of anorexics (Google "ana thinspiration" for pictures to print out). Show her some pictures of celebrities that look really good, but aren't too skinny. Ask her if she looks like any of those women. When she says no (which I guarantee she will), tell her she's right. Then show her the pictures of the bony, disgusting, anorexic women and tell her she looks like these disgusting things.

The trick is to make them feel really gross about what they're doing, and how overly skinny they look. Eventually, the food won't look so disgusting to them.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Hello,
This is a very serious problem that has no easy answers. Generally speaking the person must be confronted and persuaded by friends and family to seek professional help. It is difficult to monitor the eating habits of another so without constant professional guidance it is easy to be bulimic. Help intervene this life threating condition by getting your friend to treatment. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I think you did the right thing of telling someone that she had a problem you make a good roommate.

Answer 5

so how old are you in your most recent question you an 18 year oldcollege senior whose pregnant . make up your mind and get your story straight i cant stand people who lie all the time

Answer 6

Get professional help asap, she can't do it alone.