Is being gay a choice or not?

Question

I'm not against them. But do you think it's their choice or they are born to be like that.

Do you hate gays or lesbians?

Answer 1

Yeah, I was attracted to boys since I was born. I always tried to fancy girls also, but I never had sexual feelings for them. So even if I tried so hard, I could never fall in love with a girl. I could lie to myself and get married with a woman but I'd never be happy. I did not choose to be gay. If we could chose whether to love girls or boys then I would choose to be straight cos my family will enver accept the fact that I am gay, and that makes us (gay people) suffer alot. If it was that easy, do you think we would choose to suffer? nah mate. That is like the most stupid thing I've ever heard in my entire life. How would a straight person would know if we choose to be gay or not. He can't know 'cause he is not gay. The only ones that know if we choose to be gay or not are we (gay people). What if you're a straight boy and I ask you to kiss a guy. I bet you'd be like ewww. Well in my case I'd be like that if you asked me to kiss a girl.

Answer 2

Honestly I wish that questions like these had restrictions on them that only gays should be able to answer. I often find it funny that most gays say that being gay is not a choice, and most straights say that it IS a choice. The problem with injustice, prejudice, discrimination, etc. is that it is mostly dealt out and done by people making judgements about things they think they know about and really can't even begin to relate to. I take offense to people claiming that I CHOSE to have such a rough childhood growing up. That I CHOSE to fear the bigotry and disapproval of my father. That I CHOSE to look away from every man I was attracted to while walking by for fear of my well being. People don't choose these things. I wish anyone who has these judgements would just really sit there for a moment and contemplate just how they would go about trying to never feel the emotion of happiness anymore. I mean seriously think about it. And no, it doesn't count if you feel it and just don't show it. You honestly and seriously have to get rid of all feeling of happiness and never FEEL it again. If you seriously think we choose to be gay, try choosing to do something that you couldn't possibly imagine not doing or being anymore. THEN you'll understand what it means to be gay.

Answer 3

no japeralatifa, it is NOT a choice! it wasn't "practiced" in my home. I didn't know ANYONE when I was growing up that was gay, no one else in my family that I know of is gay. I didn't even meet anyone openly gay until long after I realized I was. considering I realized this in the early 80's, when the Bible-thumpers came out in force pointing fingers at gay people and saying AIDS was God's punishment (uneducated, hateful, evil morons), why would I have "chosen" to be something that was so hated? because it was NOT a choice. God created us all and makes no mistakes...He made me gay.
read this and think long and hard about asking this question...


HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE


(©1972, Martin Rochlin, Ph.D. Reprinted with permission from the author.)

This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and your anonymity fully protected.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?


11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

Answer 4

All the gay boys and girls are going to tell you it's not a choice, and all the people that are against them are going to tell you it is. Furthermore, all of the valid scientific research says it's not a choice. And as for you: you'll probably walk away believing whatever you believed in the first place. Your call.

Answer 5

Did you choose to be hetero? Or are you simply attracted to members of the opposite sex? What made you attracted to members of the opposite sex--did you choose to be? Do you think that if you were shamed enough by your parents and society, could you be forced to really be attracted to your own gender? Or would you just be fighting against your own true feelings?

I think that being gay is simply how you are. You can't choose your eye color. You can wear tinted lenses--but behind it all, you still have the same color eyes. Same with being gay. You can pretend to like the opposite gender, but in the end, it's just an act.

Answer 6

Every form of scientific research indicates that homosexuality is inborn, whether for genetic or chemo-genetic reasons. Homosexuality is sexual attraction to the same sex to the exclusion of the opposite sex.

Homosexuality is as natural as any other form of sexuality. The traditional natural law argument maintained that homosexuality did not exist in nature, and therefore was unnatural and chosen by individuals. Now we know that to be totally false. Decades long indepth studies have revealed that in fact homosexuality exists in all of the hundreds of species studied; furthermore, among those with pair bonding, homosexual pair bonds occur to the exclusion of any heterosexual mating. The seminal study in this field is by Dr. Bruce Bagemihl and is titled "Biological Exuberance" it is published by St. Martin's Press and may be available to purchase online used.

Of course there are other equally ridiculous anti-gay arguments:

The argument that it is communicable -- one of the traditional anti-gay arguments -- is demonstrably false. People may deal with their sexuality later in life, but sexual attraction to same sex members combined with a total lack of sexual attraction to opposite sexed members cannot be spread from one person to the other.

Traditionally (pre 1970s) psychology treated homosexuality as a pathology (disease) and attempted, though admittedly without success, to "cure" it -- that changed in the 1970s, partially as a result of political action, but mostly as a result of a series of studies that convinced most psychologists that homosexuality was, whatever else it might be, neither a disease nor curable. Hundreds of peer reviewed studies since then have supported the progressive conclusion of the 1970's psychologists and psychiatrists.

Today we have a movement that claims it can cure homosexuality. Some of what it uses is pop psychology, most of what it uses is religious. The reality is, now being established by study after study, despite bitter opposition from the practicioners to any studies being performed; that it doesn't, and in fact can't change anyone at all.

That is not to say that a gay person can't pretend to be straight. Can't marry a woman, presuming that we are talking about a male (which will ill serve the woman, because real attraction will never be there) and can't father children. The whole process of living a secret life of one night stands and hidden trysts while pretending to be straight is the very closet from which gay people are escaping. It doesn't change what you are -- only lets the bigots feel more comfortable that you are "like everyone else," at the cost of your self-worth, dignity, and character -- and most of your female partner's dignity as well. To be in the closet is not to be straight, it is to be unhappy, perhaps even more unhappy than being celibate. It is also not to say that a gay person can't decide to live without sex, anyone can do that. A gay person however is a gay person; and cannot be anything else, not because of pathology, which has been rejected now for over 40 years by the doctors that study homosexuality, but because it is what is natural to him or her.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 7

I believe that people are born gay whilst others dont chose to be gay, but they chose to love. And with chosing to love, we open our hearts up to everyone! I have only ever been with men, however I am now with a woman and am completly happy with my life, I wouldnt change a thing (maybe the bank balance) I didnt chose to be gay because if we broke up I would go back to men, I did chose to be in a same sex relationship though because of love. If kate were a man I would be with kate the man, but she isnt, she is a girl! Love is love!

Answer 8

They chose to be gay, it's like any sin, it may feel right even if it's really wrong. I don't hate gay people but it is wrong, I want to be told if I'm living in sin. The truth is that the world is getting more messed up every year. Gay people can even get married legally!!! I cant believe it.

Answer 9

I'm really tired of seeing this worn out question over and over again. It always gives a soapbox for the pseudo Christians to spout their ignorant and misinformed dogma about a subject that they really know nothing about. You would think they would have better things to do to make them feel better about their pitiful lives. All they are really doing is driving people away from the Lord with their hateful finger pointing. That is the biggest sin.

Answer 10

Hey, Japera, it wasn't practiced in my home, either, but I'm still a lesbian. Got any other dumb remarks you want to make?
Being gay is not a choice, and I tried to "choose" to be straight and it has not worked for me, I thought once I could do it, but I can't. I simply have no attraction for men, period. Do heterosexual people choose to be hetersexual?


.....Who let Shayna in here?