and she is always calling herself fat. the really bad thing is that her mom and her brothers call her fat also. I feel really bad for how can I get her to see that she is great girl inside and out?
2006-07-13 06:18:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
well if she really is your friend like you say she is, then you should accept her for who she is, not what she looks like, but you should just talk to her in a adult way
2006-07-13 06:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by ladycrunkjuice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somebody once told me that when you hear something new you will repeat it over and over again until you have assimilated it into your picture of the world and have accepted it. Maybe what she, her brothers and mother are doing is saying over and over again is in some way " we don't accept you". They do it because they are rejecting her in some way, and from her perrspective, it's probably easier to reject herself first and then when everyone else does it it's no surprise and it doesn't hurt as much. This is some pretty unhealthy behaviour that probably stems from something more than just skin deep. If you have her ear, then make sure she knows that you accept her and try to help her see what her good qualities are. It may be difficult for her to hear you from behind the defenses and the readiness for rejection she turns toward the world, but if she is going to learn how to cope with her crappy family and a weight problem then a good friend is the best thing she can have. good luck!!
2006-07-13 13:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with a friend of mine except shes not fat she is only a couple pounds over weight and not only do I tell her she that shes not fat, but so does all her other friends. I think that if you just keep on telling her that shes perfect the way she is maybe she realize it. I don't know if your a christian or not, but try praying for her.
2006-07-13 13:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by Randomness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your a great friend to reach out and try to help her...Your a good person :-) As far as her parents are that is so terrible.... the next time her parents and brother say that stick up for her and say no she's not..as far as she goes....she might get a complex from this so try to compliment her all the time and just be there for her like you have been...if things start getting really bad I would get her professional help!
2006-07-13 13:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend like that in highschool. Nothing you'll say will make her feel better. It's their own problem if they hate themselves for being fat and they can either change it or accept it because they are the only ones who can change their outlook. I don't know what to tell you, but I didn't like being around negative insecure people and I found another friend.
2006-07-13 13:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by kaliedoscope_eyes86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, you can't do anything to help her see that...she needs to realize it by herself. if she is always hearing that she is fat, her self esteem is most likely really low, all you can do is be there for her if she needs someone to talk to and tell her that the only opinion that counts is how she feels about herself. looks aren't everything, self esteem and personality are usually the crowd winners....also, if she thinks she is fat, try and see if you can help her (if she wants help) with a diet and exercise program to get to a weight she is more comfortable with.
2006-07-13 13:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Kit Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O thats so sad ive always been gald i never had a weight problem because people are so mean. Well to make her feel better just act like shes just like u and when she says shes fat tell her shes not thatll build her self confidence up .
2006-07-13 13:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to stop calling herself fat or she will become fat. Tell her there are many, many, women who would like to look as good as she does.
2006-07-13 13:24:20 · answer #8 · answered by Si 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE HER TO SEE "FAT GIRL" IT WAS A GREAT MOVIE THAT MAY BOOSTER HER SELF-CONFIEDENCE, IT WORKED FOR ME. SECONDLY, REMIND HER THAT SHE IS BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE MAY THINK OF HER. AND LIKE MO'NIQUE ALWAYS SAY FAT STANDS FOR fABULOUS aND tHICK. TAKE HER ON A SHOPPING SPREE SOMETIME AND HELP HER SHOP FOR BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES THAT WILL LOOK AMAZING ON HER. AND IF SHE'S ONLY A little OVERWEIGHT WORKOUT WITH HER AND IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO THE GYM YOU TO CAN RENT SO FUN WORKOUTS AND DO THEM AT HOME. REMEMBER THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF FUN WORKOUT VIDEOS OUT THERE, SO IF YOU DON'T WANT "TAE BO" YOU CAN ALWAYS GET THE DACING WORKOUTS.
2006-07-13 13:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by Fefe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem with my friend, incourage her to eat better, and to prove to people that she can lose the weight. Help her ask her to running with you or sit down with her and talk. It took me a year to get my friend to notice, but she finally did notice that she was obese.She dropped that weight and now she matches her personality. Just make sure your friend doesn't go to drastic measure and starves herself or anything. Tell her nicely and tell her over and over, it'll take time but in the end it is worth it to see your friend happier.
2006-07-13 13:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by SoccerChick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a great friend, and you should be her motivator. Don't say anything about her weight problem, but emphasize her talents and her skills. For example, if she's a great artist, compliment her work and introduce her to other artists, where she'll feel accepted.
2006-07-13 13:24:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋