I don't think of myself as shallow, but I have a gf thats gained a lot of weight since college and squeezes into the same size she wore 2 yrs ago. I usually say, wear what u wanna but she looks like shes in pain as she wears too tight low rise jeans that cut into her stomach and short shirts that show her full belly. I know that shes beautiful person inside at any size, but how do I tell her that she needs to wear the approriate clothing size, nicely. I mean my friends don't even wanna hang with her anymore.
2006-07-13 06:08:25 · 12 answers · asked by sugasofly85 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't even have a real problem with her size, just wish she would wear her size.
2006-07-13 06:27:23 · update #1
Tough one, Tell her. Do this, when she dresses as you have described above. Grab her hand and take her to a FULL size mirror and let her have a GOOD look. Let her SEE that her clothes does not fit. Let her know that you are concern for her and show her other ways to dress. Try stylish long blouses to cover up the stomach. And suggest bigger pants. Only until she can lose the weight. And show her your confidence in her that she can lose the weight. Be careful because she might be getting fat due to emotional trauma. Give lots of hugs. Because she will be needing them.
2006-07-13 06:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by vhat40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because your friends don't wanna hang about her doesn't mean you should feel embarresed by her. If she feels embarressed about her size then I'm sure she'll change her dress style, for her.
If she feels good, then don't go and knock her down unless you see it as a health risk.
You could though, be a real good friend and drop the hint that maybe 'you both' could do with going to gym, to tone up and feel even sexier than you/she already does.
Sometimes we are blind, but we can work around the problem to help them see for themselves, and at the same time not be the one to knock the confidence out of her. It's very hard to tell a woman she needs to lose weight without hurting her feelings especially if she feels sexy in herself. Big women can be sexy and it's great that she isn't depressed and locking herself away like many do.
Your friends aren't her true friends if avoiding because of her size of her dress sense, they are the shallow ones. A true friend sees the beauty within but will guide her friend into the right direction.
2006-07-13 13:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by WW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok yeah i know what you mean. Nobody finds it attractive when girls wear clothes too small for them. Just tell her that the clothes and her style doesn't exactly fit her personality these days. A sometime be blunt with her. I mean just tell her " hey so and so, you know those jeans look kinda tight on you, and don't exactly emphasize you features" thats a nice way of putting it.
2006-07-13 13:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by Fluv u long time....69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything unless you want to kill her self esteem and possibly your friendship too. She wears these clothes cause she's in denial that she has gained weight, but believe me she has mirrors , she sees herself. If the only thing in your life to worry about is how your friend looks then sorry to say it but you are shallow, if she was to get cancer, loose her hair and bloat 4 times her size cause of chemo would you still be ashamed to be seen with her?
2006-07-13 13:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey truth be told we all do that at some point.......she may think that if she keeps those clothes and keeps wearing them it will motivate her to loose weight. The best way to tell a friend is to tell them. Let her know that it is ok to have gained a few pounds that is what we do as we get older. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-07-13 13:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by poohbearmomma_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the number one ingredient in a relationship. If you aren't being honest with her, you're only hurting her. If she doesn't understand that, then she's just being shallow. Perhaps go to the gym with her and help her get her old size back. Be positive, and always remain honest.
2006-07-13 13:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by mtjbrady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nominate her for TLC's What Not To Wear. Telling someone they don't look good is always better when it comes with a $5000 Visa and a makeover.
2006-07-13 13:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by drewsilla01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try going shopping with her, and when she tries things on, get her a larger size in a friendly way so that you're not being rude. You could also try to work out with her at the gym.
2006-07-13 13:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your friend and you ought to be able to talk to her about what you think looks appropriate on her and what does'nt, she might feel alittle embarassed but at the end of the day she will think about what you said and i dont think she'll resent you for it. I tell my friends when they're looking good, when they're getting too fat, they tell me and we are still great friends.
2006-07-13 13:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by VANILLA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got get a makeover together. It will spare the hurt feelings, and you'll have fun together.
2006-07-13 13:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Neuroscientist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋