My husband and I have a few different friends that all had children at young ages and when they weren't ready and thus have not able to do alot of the things we do, ie build a new house, go on vacations, go out a lot, have spending money, etc. Now when we tell them we are happy without children they say we are selfish. But I feel like they just want us to be in the same position as they are. I know they love their children dearly, but they tell us a lot of the negitives and say "just wait, you'll see when you have kids" But saying things like that just makes me want kids less and less. What do we do to make they stop making comments? I feel like it's the old saying "misery loves company"
2006-07-13 05:32:23 · 9 answers · asked by kalishea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Response to Answer #6- The parents are the ones telling me about the misery.. obviously I don't know because I don't have children. All they do is complain about the negitives, which I am aware there are more positives. Going on vacations is just an example.. I am well aware you can still go on vacation with children. And I did not say that is why we choose not to have children, I just mentioned a few things we do that our friends make comments on not being able to do as much.
2006-07-13 06:08:04 · update #1
It is such a personal thing between a married couple as to whether they want children or not. It is not selfish to not have children if you choose not to.
It's really no one else's business.
Tell your friends that if you decide to have children you will let them know, but for now would appreciate it if they wouldn't bring up the subject, that you enjoy their kid stories, but that you are not ready to have children.
2006-07-13 05:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by Ilsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what pleases you and your husband. Everyone is different. If you're not ready don't have children. Just because you have children doesn't mean you have to give up anything extra. When and if you have children it will be different for you. You will raise them different and do different things with them. I think if you have accomplished all of those things before you have children I think its great. Good Luck.
2006-07-13 12:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not misery loves company, sure children can be tough to raise, but there is no experience like it. Children are a blessing and that's why people are constantly asking you when when when because they want you to feel the same joy they felt. Babies aren't miserable, and who says you can't go on vacation because of babies, my husband and i are going on vacation with our baby the end of this month. A friend of mine has 3 kids and just came back from mrytle beach and is planning a trip to the domenican republic for this winter with his children. when you say that you don't want to have kids cause you like vacations and dinner, yes that does sound selfish. perhaps you should say, i like kids but i don't feel like i would want any. money shouldn't have anything to do with it. and trust me when and if you become a parent, you're going to want to spend your money on your baby rather than yourself cause you want to give them the world. but please don't compare it to misery loves company, that just sounds like your being a b*tch. children are a blessing.
2006-07-13 12:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by Geltrude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I agree kids are fabulous but it's you and only you who can decide when to have them.so make it clear to your friends that this subject has been discussed between you and your husband and you have an agreement wether you want ot have kids or not and that you would appreciate the non interference of anybody because this is your life and you guys,you make the decisions. i know it sound rude but just be clear and direct and they'll not ask again hopefully.good luck
2006-07-13 12:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by celine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children aren't misery, but too each their own. Tell them rather than having children of your own you've decided to help the many orphans of the world, that should shut them up.
2006-07-13 12:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live your life and be happy! if they aren't happy for you and your lifestyle, they aren't really your friends. we have family that never had children, they are in their 70's now, and VERY happy!! so, what i'm trying to say is this, EVERY couple makes a decision, its up to everyone else to accept it! Good luck!
2006-07-13 12:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are spot on. They want you to be in the same boat as they are.
I suggest you just ignore them. It's your life. Do what you want with it. You are answerable to you and God alone.
2006-07-13 12:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell em ya don't want them my parents only wanted one, me, and they did no matter what thier friends said my mom isn't having any more.
2006-07-13 12:36:05 · answer #8 · answered by kellieprocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them it's your life to live not theirs & that you make
your decisions , not them
2006-07-13 12:38:23 · answer #9 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋