My boyfriend (who ive been with for nearly 8 years) works for a local farmer they get on really well and since his wife left have become really good friends, my boyfriend goes out for drinks with him, to clubs etc, recently the farmers 25 year old daughter has got back after spending a year in australia. my boyfriend now sees her everyday at work and shes even started tagging along every time they go out! ( I can never gocos Im looking after our 2 children they all go out about 3 times a week and sometimes fri/sat night)He says shes really nice and they talk about loads together. Hes not been coming home from work till about 8.30/9pm, hes says hes been talking with the farmer but I dont believe it. I'm really jealous and I dont know why, hes never cheated on me but I get the impression she wants him. they seem to have a lot in common, I really dont like it and I want him to stop working its that bad, what should i do?!?
2006-07-13 05:23:16 · 25 answers · asked by Kate B ♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I basically agree with what Sunny Crone said.
Stop worrying about what he might be doing. He's not but I think you two need to have fun and date together again. Get a babysitter, get dressed up and remind him what fun you two have together. A nagging, fed-up woman at home is the surest way to drive him into the arms of someone else. But a sexy, loving, committed girlfriend will always keep her man.
And to all those making comments about 'why aren't you married' why should they be? You can still have a committed relationship without having a ceremony, wite frock and some sausages on sticks y'know.
2006-07-13 06:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by Leapling 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like perhaps you _two_ should spend some time together.
Why don't you ask him to have _her_ watch the kids on a Friday night, if she's so nice? Then go out to a club or drinks with your boyfriend.
That'd also be a way to gauge his reaction - If he balks at the suggestion, then you'd know something with the relationship isn't on the up and up.
If you can't find a babysitter, how about doing something as a family on a weekend night, like printing out some sky maps from online, and then tossing the kids in the backseat and going out looking at the stars?
You didn't specify your ages, nor your children's ages, but rather then getting angry and throwing blame as some posters suggest, try to spend time with your man.
None of us have any assurance that we'll be alive tomorrow - There's no reason to letting the possibility of him straying or leaving eat you up inside. Savor each day with him and your children fully.
2006-07-13 06:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by SunnyCrone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If one man and woman spend lot of time together and enjoy it, then there is a big possibility of things getting sexual. also the farmer's daughter is a young woman.
A man and a woman can never be friends.
and also, the big hint that he is or will be cheating is that he is staying out late! he should be at home helping you looking after the kids.
A married man should not be hanging out a lot, he should be home helping his wife. He should enjoy spending time with his kids. but certainly it looks like he is enjoying it with the farmer and his daughter.
Now what you have to do is, be strong, have the courage to face the reality, and get on with life. May be look for someone better. Trust me, there are better men out there!
2006-07-13 09:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by kriti_and_veera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel in a nice calm way. It's not fair he can always go out while you mind the kids. Get a babysitter every so often and tag along for some fun and let the other girl know you're around just in case you're right about her, which might not be the truth at all so be carefull of assumptions! Better yet, tell him evere second week he has to mind the kids while you go out with your own friends!
2006-07-13 05:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with a farm worker 8 years and don't realise yet that farmers work long hours at this time of year... you have to trust him.... ultimately, if he's going to cheat then it'll happen regardless of what you do... let go, don't crowd him, don't act jealous and hope his love for you is enough... if it isn't then you'll loose him anyway... sorry babe..
2006-07-13 07:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by engineer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book a family holiday. Surprise darling! We're off to Spain! Then when he's out there, you'll have him all to yourself. You can decide if he's pining for her or if he just likes the company at work. At the end of the day he's YOUR husband so YOU come first. If you could find him a job else where then he should logically want to leave to make you happy.
2006-07-13 10:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by Wicked Top. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down and tell him how you feel....hes a guy...so to be honest he will want a bit on the side with the farmers daughter...but you have to make him play his cards...tell him his excuses are lame...and you want him home at the time he finishes work to help you with the kids or your leaving him...if he loves you hell respect what your saying...if not then..chances are ...hell leave you anyway...you could phone the farmer and let him know how your feeling about there late chats...as you need him home ...and if the farmer says he dont know what you mean...then he aint been with the farmer...maybe his daughter...you must confront him tonight...or youll leave it to late...and it will build up..and yous will be at each other...and that will give him the perfect excuse to leave you...blaming you so his guilt is shifted...go get him...and dont fall for his bull...look in his eyes and demand the truth...youve nothing to lose....good luck...email me and let me know how you get on....u must comfront him tonight
2006-07-13 05:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmm sounds a bit dodgy to me, why don't you ask him to look after the kids whilst you go out? see how he would feel if the situation was reversed. Or call his bluff and when he goes out with the farmer and his daughter arrange a babysitter and go with them. But probably the surest way of sorting it out is to talk to him and tell him the way you feel if he doesn't do anything to calm your fears then they may be right. good luck.
2006-07-13 05:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry to say I dont think it looks good. Why should you torture yourself, give him an ultimatum he either stops going out with her there so much or you will have to break it off.
If he wont stop seeing her, chances are he woulda broke it off anyway, just you are possibly making it happen sooner and if he says ok then you are the one! he may not be happy but he can't have you both.
2006-07-13 05:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sam k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming home late from work on a consisten basis is a serious sign of trouble that should not be ignored.
Hire a babysitter and showup at his work place unnaounced.
Next event, go with your bf... so every body know that he has a gf and that he is not up for grabs.
Good luck
2006-07-13 05:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋